💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[AltisticRight]

But there I am expecting consistency from Fatty.

The only consistencies to expect from him are consistently overcooked/undercooked and badly cooked.

 

[SOLDIER OF WALES]

But today it's so common that it just makes you look like a disaffected member of Gen Z.

Ah you motherfucker I’m Gen Z and haven’t shaved in a few days and now I have a goatee going lmao

--
I don't have anything useful to say but every time I click on this thread and skim through the last couple pages I'm giggling my ass off how much of a disgusting mongoloid this guy is. Grown ass nigga has a crippled arm from eatin too much BUDDUR and now his wife has to assemble his grill for him because hes so fat and retarded KEK

 

[the khat quaffer]

The only consistencies to expect from him are consistently overcooked/undercooked and badly cooked.

Just like his leftern hemisphere.

Ah you motherfucker I’m Gen Z and haven’t shaved in a few days and now I have a goatee going lmao

--
I don't have anything useful to say but every time I click on this thread and skim through the last couple pages I'm giggling my ass off how much of a disgusting mongoloid this guy is. Grown ass nigga has a crippled arm from eatin too much BUDDUR and now his wife has to assemble his grill for him because hes so fat and retarded KEK

There's a soul patch you can install for that.

 

[AnOminous]

The global palette has expanded so much since then to the point most people have had something similar to escargot, like scungili or calamari, and it just makes him sound so stuck in the past to give "eating snails" as his answer.

To be honest I'm not terribly fond of escargot. It's the sort of thing where if you put it in front of me I'll eat it, and it's okay dipped in garlic butter, but even wet cardboard dipped in garlic butter would be edible. Of the other two, I love calamari.

But yeah, back in the 1980's sushi was considered weird, gross and something that only the brave tried but it's so mainstream now you can pick it up at gas stations.

That said I'd never eat gas station sushi except the stuff with no actual seafood in it, or at least nothing but surimi which is practically unspoilable.

It's neither cheap, nor fast, nor even convenient.

I have a local dive bar that charges $6 for a half pound burger with everything on it that is absolutely delicious. Why would I buy some repulsive artificial toadburger from McDick's?

I have a tech bro like him in my life that is annoying as fuck and is always going on about their vO2 max, how little they dream when they sleep, how optimized his micro lsd doses are, and if I’d let him, how optimized his shits are, describing something like Nibbler from futurama.

Microdosing LSD is for fags. Just chew up a couple strips of straight blotter you fucking pussy.

 

[semitooth]

Spoiler: archive: "SEARCHING FOR SEAFOOD AT O'CHARLEY'S "

7:33

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=DyMDyLMAP5sarchive incoming

That calamari for $14.99 should be a crime, but it looks the most edible of the dishes. That pasta looks like they just took sysco slop and threw it in the microwave (they probably did). Blackened redfish looks okay but what the fuck is that grease doing on the bottom of the plate?

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=DyMDyLMAP5sarchive incoming

"Almost every restaurant, unless it's like Mexican or Japanese, usually has seafood on the menu" Yes, everyone knows Mexican and Japanese cuisines are devoid of seafood dishes.

"Lots of Mexican restaurants have seafood. The most popular is salmon." It's not a real Jack video without him contradicting himself in the same breath. But salmon is about the last fish I associate with Mexican food. Salmon is a cold water fish not found in Mexican waters.

Jack now thinks bars are "cool" and appreciates good customer service, even though he was just telling us that customer service lidurally doesn't matter.

This guy's brain just keeps getting more fried every day.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

"Almost every restaurant, unless it's like Mexican or Japanese, usually has seafood on the menu" Yes, everyone knows Mexican and Japanese cuisines are devoid of seafood dishes.

"Lots of Mexican restaurants have seafood. The most popular is salmon." It's not a real Jack video without him contradicting himself in the same breath. But salmon is about the last fish I associate with Mexican food. Salmon is a cold water fish not found in Mexican waters.

Jack now thinks bars are "cool" and appreciates good customer service, even though he was just telling us that customer service lidurally doesn't matter.

This guy's brain just keeps getting more fried every day.

Oh yeah, the country known for sushi definitely does not have seafood on the menu

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Is that supposed to be an indicator of good health, now? Everyone dreams, it's part of the sleep cycle, so I suppose this refers to being able to recall them.

It's been ages since I last remembered a dream; either I'm doing great, or should start writing my will.

You dream several times a night. It's only the ones you have when you're barely asleep that are the ones you remember or the ones you have just as you wake up.

So if Chawls says he isn't dreaming it means he's not waking up in the middle of the night and tends to be a deep sleeper otherwise. And yes I haven't remembered a dream for the past 20 years meaning I too must be super healthy according to Chawls.

That said I'd never eat gas station sushi except the stuff with no actual seafood in it, or at least nothing but surimi which is practically unspoilable.

For the most part I agree at least in this country. I don't trust gas station food unless it's prepared in front of me because you have no idea how long it's been sitting there.

"Almost every restaurant, unless it's like Mexican or Japanese, usually has seafood on the menu" Yes, everyone knows Mexican and Japanese cuisines are devoid of seafood dishes.

Da FUQ is he on?

Mexico and Japan are two countries with a huge amount of seafood on their menus. Oh maybe he means the shitty strip mall places he goes to don't have them because it's Sysco slop. But I can assure you Mexico and Japan are crazy about seafood.

It's not a real Jack video without him contradicting himself in the same breath. But salmon is about the last fish I associate with Mexican food. Salmon is a cold water fish not found in Mexican waters.

Just goes to show he's got no clue. Salmon is on the menu because, and I know this is difficult for him to understand, but the CUSTOMERS that go there like salmon so they put it on the menu and "Mexicanize" it up. It's actually not that hard to do. Simple recipe when you get down to it.

Grill up some salmon, make yourself a salsa fresca with tomato, onion, jalapeno, avocado, cilantro and a squeeze of lime juice. Add a touch of cumin, salt & pepper and just add some of it on top of your salmon. Boom "Mexican" salmon. You can also do things like Greek and Indian style salsas and chance the flavors of the dish.

 

[p1138]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=DyMDyLMAP5sarchive incoming

seafood month? And he managed to go 20 seconds before losing his train of thought and mumbling into the camera. The idea of mexican and japanese restaurants not having seafood... holy shit. Japanese, usually half the menu is seafood, and even the cheapest taqueria around will still have a shrimp plate.

"I don't get turned on by salmon" No Fatty, most people don't get turned on by food to disgusting wendigo. "usually it's too expensive, it's a sliver cuz that's what restaurants do they give you a small piece of salmon" like a normal portion of food?

He's immediately fascinated by this slop.


"for those of you watching SHOOGUR they've got shoogur free raspberry lemonade"

"Beautiful side salad"


Not sure wtf he thought fried calamari was going to be?

That calamari for $14.99 should be a crime, but it looks the most edible of the dishes.

It's still sysco slop. Also apparently Tammy, like the calamari, I guess isn't worth the 14.99. And of course she still has to tongue fuck the food first before just taking a bite like a normal human being.


"the cajun pasta at cheddars is salsa mixed with alfredo and it's really gud" that sounds horrendous.

Why is the blackened redfish thing so fucking oily? It's practically swimming in it.


"people can't blacken fish these guys can blacken it perfect, it was blackened not burnt" Yeah Fatty I'm sure you know all about being blacked.

 

[SOLDIER OF WALES]

"Beautiful side salad"


Not sure wtf he thought fried calamari was going to be?

The shitty 8oz salads you get at walmart for $2.80 a piece look better than that

Its literally just cheese and tomatoes what the fuck is that abomination hahaha. As usual the side of ranch(? whatever the fuck that is) is definitely more caloric than the salad itself

 

[the khat quaffer]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=DyMDyLMAP5sarchive incoming

Love the thumbnail.
"Fresh. Delicious. Surprising!"
I guess it would be surprising to the Scalfani patriarch.




He fuckin' sniffed it. Good thing he didn't flick his tongue at it, I guess.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Why is the blackened redfish thing so fucking oily? It's practically swimming in it.


"people can't blacken fish these guys can blacken it perfect, it was blackened not burnt" Yeah Fatty I'm sure you know all about being blacked.

That's not fucking blackened.

This is blackened:



There's no grease on the bottom of the plate and there's no dried seasoning on top. But of course it's not like Fatty actually understands cooking terms.

He believes that adding flour to his pan and scraping it about is same as making a roux.

 

[p1138]

He fuckin' sniffed it. Good thing he didn't flick his tongue at it, I guess.

I was actually surprised he didn't do the ridiculous tongue thing these fat fucks can't help from doing.

 

[Shartavius]

Why is the blackened redfish thing so fucking oily? It's practically swimming in it.

It appears to be someone's attempt at plating it with their attempt at a pan sauce. That whole plate is pathetic in a way only a strip mall kitchen can achieve. Falcon Sebben posted what it's supposed to be.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

It appears to be someone's attempt at plating it with their attempt at a pan sauce. That whole plate is pathetic in a way only a strip mall kitchen can achieve. Falcon Sebben posted what it's supposed to be.

And sadly it looks better than the pasta. How the fuck do you fuck up pasta like that?

 

[p1138]

And sadly it looks better than the pasta. How the fuck do you fuck up pasta like that?

Microwaving bullshit out of a plastic bag, and maybe mixing it with something else. Like Fatty said, the other place that dumped salsa into alfredo sauce was good enough for him. That shows you how low the bar is for the lowest common denominator customers.

 

[densedance]

"for those of you watching SHOOGUR they've got shoogur free raspberry lemonade"

Ogeeey guis. Listn.

Skip the lemonade (I mean I wouldn't be suprised of the one with Shugur has 50gr of Sugar in one Glas but whatever) but eat over 2000+ calories in one fucking sitting.

I agree with y'all, the plating of that "blackened" fish is something that shouldn't have get trough the pass.

 

[the khat quaffer]

I was actually surprised he didn't do the ridiculous tongue thing these fat fucks can't help from doing.

It has to sincerely be the most disgusting, obnoxious thing Jack (and to a slightly lesser extent Tammy) does. There's no tactical advantage to tongue-fucking your food like a fucking reptile. Is he temping it? No, that's stupid for many reasons. Is he taste-testing? No, and besides, fast/fast-casual slop tends not to vary much from location to location.

He does it purely to be a disgusting gluttonous fuck on camera and for no other reason. Somebody cart him onto a piano dolly and wheel him over to Dr. Now so he can have a My 600-lb. Life episode. I want to hear Gurgles get yelled at by that Iranian Mickey Mouse for sneaking in a to go order from Chili's in-between weigh ins.

 

[JacksSenseOfDread]

I want to hear Gurgles get yelled at by that Iranian Mickey Mouse for sneaking in a to go order from Chili's in-between weigh ins.

I laughed at "Iranian Mickey Mouse" so hard that I startled my dog!