🍔 Quarterpounder Jeremy Hambly / The Quartering / MTGHeadquarters / Unsleeved Media / Midwestly - Buttblasted alcoholic manchild upset he was banned from a childrens' card game, Grifter, supporter of the cancel culture, cucked by a Jewish bull (Adam Sellers), pisses in basement, shits himself, FLAGGOT, stalks little girls in public, scammer, sex pest

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indigoisviolet powiedział(a):
Watch the way he shuffles in agony and obsessively sniffs the air... my God!

Pull your team out! It's not a man, that's a wendiGOON!
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living with that must be like pre-ghost Slimer. a shambling poop slug snorting like a bulldog, emptying it's bowels in it's wake as it mutters about weekends.
 
PopularMediaToaster powiedział(a):
CMON JER, HIT 500 POUNDS! HALF-TON MAN ARC, LETS GOOOOOO!!
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It's actually even more appropriate than that. A ton is 2,000 pounds, so weighing 500 pounds would make him a quarter-ton man. The irony is delicious, so I assume Jer will have four servings of it.
Adamska powiedział(a):
I'm actually surprised he has AED certification in the first place. Is there any particular reason why he does it? It's not like he cares about anyone but himself.
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I'm just going to assume that he got the certification back when he had a regular job, since employers like having staff on hand who know how to do that sort of thing and usually pay them some kind of bonus for getting the training and having an additional job duty that he may never have to perform.
 
Unimaginative Username powiedział(a):
I'm just going to assume that he got the certification back when he had a regular job, since employers like having staff on hand who know how to do that sort of thing and usually pay them some kind of bonus for getting the training and having an additional job duty that he may never have to perform
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The thing is he keeps on recertifying it, since these only last a couple of years before expiring. That actually means that he reliably goes to these lessons, spends the fee, and has to give it a shot on test dummies. That's probably one of the weirdest spends he does, since the hours he goes there he could instead chug fireball shooters.
 
Adamska powiedział(a):
The thing is he keeps on recertifying it, since these only last a couple of years before expiring. That actually means that he reliably goes to these lessons, spends the fee, and has to give it a shot on test dummies. That's probably one of the weirdest spends he does, since the hours he goes there he could instead chug fireball shooters.
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there is probably a girl he simps for that runs it, simplest answer for the Simplest Man.
 
Jer is hitting that classic "Fat slob" barrier that all of them hit in their life where they start to fall apart, and all of them are told, and watch other fats fall apart, but all of them think they will be able to ignore it and soldier through the effects of being fat into and past their 40's.

ALL of them do the "Ill be fat but happy! I'll die happy!" bit, or some variation, when told about the horrors of joint pain Diabetes, sleep problems and the fucking laundry list, nay, SCROLL of things coming their way, and the obvious notion of not seeing any 60 year old Fats around for a fucking reason.

And, like narcissitic young whores slamming into the wall and no longer be able to swipe the pussy credit card, despite everyone telling them its coming, it has come for Jer, the Fat Ceiling is being slammed into.


Welcome.. Home Jer, Welcome home.
 
returnofthemacandcheese powiedział(a):
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Him flexing the polaris is so funny to me because you just know that contributed to his blown knee and general declining condition by encouraging his fat ass to get less sun and even less exercise. Your property is like what jer? A third of a mile? Can't walk 8 minutes fatty? Guess you'll walk even less now!
 
DocMorbis powiedział(a):
I get the feeling his knee problems is bunch of bull shit. Making shit up so people feel sorry for him.
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He's been posting again (1 hour ago), but no update on the MRI result. Maybe they just told him to take ibuprofen and get on a diet. Aside from sympathy he probably also wanted to show up his wife for making him do all those "chores".

Mein Prolapse powiedział(a):
So Jer is training her to be a cuck? Is that why she still hangs around Jer even though the money is drying up?
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Yes, at some point Johnny's same-sex urges will become too strong and then Mel will need Jer's advice on how to accept your spouse's sexual partners.
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
PopularMediaToaster powiedział(a):
Speaking of Mel Mel, why is an entire generation of washed up youtubers obsessed with her? Jer, Tobuscus, Razorfist, I'm sure there's more. Whats the big fucking deal about Melonie Mac? I sort of remember her from back in the day, but she was never huge. I won't argue with anybody if they wanna say she was cute in her 20s or whatever, but she's fucking FORTY. She's WRINKLED, she looks old, and she's SCREECHING. What the fuck?

Go outside, there are hotter girls working at drive-thrus at this point.
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You kinda answered you own question. None of these people go outside.
Grey Man powiedział(a):
Melonie's strongest simp
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I didn't know Joe Biden was a Mel fan,
Mein Prolapse powiedział(a):
It's probably so he can revive his wife during the annual I'll let you fuck me on your birthday session
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You know Heather is just letting him get black out wasted and tricking him into thinking she let him smash right?
 

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So true.
 
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