📚 Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[Hongourable Madisha]

Shit, y’all niggas hiring?

Yeah but you have to be careful because we do have a lot of AGPs and pooners in the organisation as a whole. It's a big corporate so it's pozzed to hell. We all keep our heads down when the boss (he/him) shows up, but we all have a good time among ourselves.
Funnily enough our team is way more diverse than most of the org, we're a mix of jocks, paddies, polacks, jeets, chinks and nogs, with a bunch of lesbians and gays (no queers) and half the place is autistic. We all call each other that shit too, again, when the boss isn't around, and we all get along. Good times.

 

[unexpected onions]

a mix of jocks, paddies, polacks, jeets, chinks and nogs, with a bunch of lesbians and gays (no queers) and half the place is autistic

You work at Kiwi Farms?

 

[sunky]

Checking vent channels for fresh lulz from pooners and I found one.

love going to do a men's opinion survey and getting the question of assigned sex at birth and being disqualified for being AFAB
tell me you give zero shits about trans men's opinions without telling me


I don't know much about opinion surveys, but I hope they do more to weed out troons and poons.

 

[Colress]

tell me you give zero shits about trans men's opinions without telling me

Pooner opinions don't, never have, and never will matter.

 

[Pig Cups]

Her butcher must’ve had a sense of humor- that zippertit outline looks like a set of tits itself.

 

[Law]

I think in a similar vein to trannies having the worst of all male traits exaggerated, making them unkempt hyper-aggressive schizo sex pests, pooners have the worst of all female traits exaggerated, meaning they're all neurotic controlling anti-fun HR harpies

Yeah. FTMs are tiny cry-bully sociopaths who crochet and fall in love with fictional fan-fic hunks. If transwomen are Buffalo Bill, transmen are Dolores Umbridge. How do you organize your life around sexist stereotypes then choose the wrong ones?
My workplace is small and pozzed as fuck. I hate watching the grown-ass men on staff humor the obnoxious lil' dood. She's also too stupid to realize that no one thinks of her as a man, they treat her like a bird with a broken wing. At least the customers misgender her.

 

[The_Cowcel]

I thought this person was talking about more general stuff but yeah.

In what nonpornographic content would sexuality be a major point? If you're looking for something about girls being into girls you're basically filtering out everything that isn't at least borderline pornographic. Romance stories are just basically just softcore porn that can legally be distributed to minors and consumed openly with minimal judgement.

Wyświetl załącznik 9170110Her butcher must’ve had a sense of humor- that zippertit outline looks like a set of tits itself.

Not just that but she's got armpit tits, probably as a result of the boob shaped cutaway not removing all the breast tissue. I get that most tranny surgeries are experimental and have a lot of variations but I would think a double mastectomy would be among the most standardized and well understood procedures in this sphere and yet they still can't do it to a standard. '

 

[Anasa Tristis]

that zippertit outline looks like a set of tits itself.

Like in a kid's drawing. UU. (UWU without the W, too.)

Apparently the joys of pooner shirt-less-ness must be shared online whenever and wherever the feeling moves you. Is she in an SUV or van there? Or is that some sort of gamer chair?

Ya gotta love the piles of crap and boxes behind her.

armpit tits

Those grotesque blobs of fat give new meaning to "side boob".

 

[Wendy Wheelchair]

Pooner desperation on r/phallo is so funny to me. IDK why I've never realized the very obvious situation of a pooner being so fembrained as to self-harm so much as to make their forearm and thigh skin unusable for phalloplasty. Hilarious. Link [A]

Spoiler: Searchable Reddit Post Text

u/helplessly_fucked Title: I 100% fucked up my arm and my legs and now I won't be able to get RFF or ALT at all
Body:
I am in a very vulnerable time, I have no money to seek help, every "free" doctor I've talked to hasn't been able to help at all, I lost both of my long term partners this year

I hur t myself daily and it's worsening every day and It's really breaking my heart that I waited 5 years for a pahllo that won't happen, don't know and I can't get abdo neither so I'm fucked

 

[GenderCop]

Those grotesque blobs of fat give new meaning to "side boob".

My aunt got lymphedema after breast removal and that looks very similar. Also the puffy upper arms (underneath).
Heat can cause it to flair up.

If you don't treat it, can easily get worse... but these idiots don't seem to care what they do to themselves, do they?

 

[Apustajan apustaja]

Why doesn't anyone ever tell me I'm a sweet beautiful boy for my surgery scars? also the scars from all the stupid shit I did in my teens and twenties.

At some point in Germany under nazis we collectively decided that men gettinng deliberate scars for vanity was bourgeois and cringe. Since there were no pooners with mastectomies then someone forgot to tell them. If us cis men are supposed to "celebrate" the scars of a boob job, I am starting the English-speaking Mensur-fencing club of Kiwi farms as of today. (Bang your beer to the table in a ceremonial way)
Because I too am entitled to look like a bad ass. Trans men wellcome, content warning: there will be drinking, and you will come out of this scared for life. It"ll be fun and hella masculine!

 

[Lord Of Shit]

Wyświetl załącznik 9170110

Her butcher must’ve had a sense of humor- that zippertit outline looks like a set of tits itself.

This person looks like a hastily-drawn cartoon.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

In what nonpornographic content would sexuality be a major point? If you're looking for something about girls being into girls you're basically filtering out everything that isn't at least borderline pornographic. Romance stories are just basically just softcore porn that can legally be distributed to minors and consumed openly with minimal judgement.

I suppose it'd be just like any story that had a married or otherwise committed couple in it, except with both of them being women. It's implied that they fuck, but the story's about other stuff they do.

Not just that but she's got armpit tits, probably as a result of the boob shaped cutaway not removing all the breast tissue. I get that most tranny surgeries are experimental and have a lot of variations but I would think a double mastectomy would be among the most standardized and well understood procedures in this sphere and yet they still can't do it to a standard. '

I suspect all the surgeons that can do it to a good standard are working in cancer care, and only the cowboys will cut up the pooners. Plus they think "aftercare" is what you do after your sadist they/them boyfriend finishes strangling you so it always looks gnarly.

 

[Pig Cups]

This person looks like a hastily-drawn cartoon.

Peep the fat under those armpits. On the bright side, she’d be a prime feature for PTV’s The Peter Griffin Side Boob Hour.


“How ‘bout THAT side boob? That turn you on? Well, it shouldn’t…”

 

[Law]

People ask me my pronouns and I'm like "I'm not trans, I'm just ugly".

This is brilliant and I'm stealing it.

 

[Aunt Carol]

At some point in Germany under nazis we collectively decided that men gettinng deliberate scars for vanity was bourgeois and cringe. Since there were no pooners with mastectomies then someone forgot to tell them. If us cis men are supposed to "celebrate" the scars of a boob job, I am starting the English-speaking Mensur-fencing club of Kiwi farms as of today. (Bang your beer to the table in a ceremonial way)
Because I too am entitled to look like a bad ass. Trans men welcome, content warning: there will be drinking, and you will come out of this scared for life. It"ll be fun and hella masculine!

It's true:

Every few months we talk about Mensur scars in the pooner or SRS thread, but lbr: Mensur scars are to FTM breast removal what stretched lobes are to limb amputation.

On the original subject, though: do a lot of young men go shirtless in public? It seems like it's occasional older gross dudes with leather skin mostly; young guys usually have a tank on.

Maybe this is another "imprinted on media" thing, but it sure seems like FtMs worry about going topless a lot more than the average man actually takes his shirt off.

Nobody's going to ring around this lady and demand to know why she's wearing a tee at the beach; even if she were miraculously "passing" as male they'd still see she's clearly a fat, pale nerd. Either she doesn't want a sunburn or she doesn't want you to make fun of her belly, obviously.

 

[The_Cowcel]

I suppose it'd be just like any story that had a married or otherwise committed couple in it, except with both of them being women. It's implied that they fuck, but the story's about other stuff they do.

And at that point it ceases to be "sapphic content" for the most part doesn't it? Nobody normal would consider stories with a hint of relationship to be "straight content". The poster isn't saying she struggles to relate to women, only "Sapphic content".

I suspect all the surgeons that can do it to a good standard are working in cancer care, and only the cowboys will cut up the pooners. Plus they think "aftercare" is what you do after your sadist they/them boyfriend finishes strangling you so it always looks gnarly.

I can understand the scarring pooners get from lack of wound care, and I'm not expecting these Dr. Frankenstein's to be world class surgeons, just for them to follow the instructions of a well established procedure and do perform it to a baseline standard. The poor result combined with and likely caused by the nonstandard technique for a routine procedure would be at least a minor scandal for a doctor in any other field(yes, even cosmetics) but "transmedicine" has no standards even for procedures with a well established practice. Sloppy work and undesirable results are one thing, but this surgeon seemed to have gone off script with horrible results.

 

[Chandelier]

I made the mistake of going on Rule 34, ye olde website for all things pornographic, because my degenerate curiosity got the better of me. On certain tags, you will find a sizable amount of pooners, and these were some comments I found.



This is what they sound like when they're in The Fappening mode .

 

[Audit]

I made the mistake of going on Rule 34, ye olde website for all things pornographic, because my degenerate curiosity got the better of me. On certain tags, you will find a sizable amount of pooners, and these were some comments I found.
Wyświetl załącznik 9172218
Wyświetl załącznik 9172222
Wyświetl załącznik 9172223
This is what they sound like when they're in The Fappening mode .

It never ceases to amaze me how many of the pooner sexual desires could be achieved by just being straight or fucking each other.

Pooner sexual urges include:

• Getting eaten out by a dude (straight cunnilingus)
• Eating another chick out (lesbian cunnilingus)
• Jacking a dude off while sitting on his face (handjob + straight cunnilingus)

Really, these urges are so basic that they only confirm my theory that most pooners are utter virgins that never leave the basement. What next, will they hornypost about the desire to get pregnant, have kids, and drive them to soccer practice?

 

[Julie Newmar]

It never ceases to amaze me how many of the pooner sexual desires could be achieved by just being straight or fucking each other.

Pooner sexual urges include:

• Getting eaten out by a dude (straight cunnilingus)
• Eating another chick out (lesbian cunnilingus)
• Jacking a dude off while sitting on his face (handjob + straight cunnilingus)

Really, these urges are so basic that they only confirm my theory that most pooners are utter virgins that never leave the basement. What next, will they hornypost about the desire to get pregnant, have kids, and drive them to soccer practice?

And all of those things could happen, no doubt. But most sane people cut and run when the pooner in question demands being called a “boy” while getting her pussy eaten out.