Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

Given Jake's extreme Executive Dysfunction and its tendency to manifest in a complete inability to do anything that he needs to do, especially if it concerns admin or communicating with normal people, I fully expect him to continue to complain about his tooth and for it to get worse and worse and for him to continue to do absolutely nothing about it (but keep saying he needs to) until it lands him in the ER. Given that an untreated dental abscess may have killed Cobes, things could get grim.
 
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Call me old fashioned, but whenever I see someone that looks like that, who has named themselves ‘Nire Bryce’, I hear anything that they’ve written being spoken in a wavering, quasi-masculine voice, and then I immediately discount it as total lies and histrionic exaggeration.
Reminder that this . . . thing . . . has their own small thread. But was so boring it only generated two pages in 8 years.

 
he probably has untreated pre-diabetes at the minimum at this point.
Oh no, he has True and Honest insulin-dependent diabetes now. Even the +10 CON boost for being a lolcow couldn't save him forever.
I think this was the post (June 2025) when he confirmed he has it in a stream, and that he's not managing it well.

However, we must interrupt the diabetes discussion for a moment, as Jake has a special message for Pride Month🏳️‍🌈™️.
Violet 'share cute art of puppy girls making out or w/e' Hargrave powiedział(a):
A special message for Pride Month:

Please stop dropping dead animals on the middle of the kitchen table.

You probably missed my introduction of this metaphor, so again:

By "the kitchen table" I mean your social media feeds.

And by "dead animals," I mean whatever disgusted you enough to share it.

Obviously, ONE reason I keep saying this is the obvious self-serving answer: It's gross and I don't want to see it.

I do not want to see a bunch of disgusting hate speech all over my feed.
I don't want to think at all about some braindead nazi I made a very active point of blocking.
No gore please.

There are other, more important reasons though that you should not be leaving dead animals on the table.

Reason 2: It's really bad for your mental health. Dropping dead animals on the table is one of those things which does not actually provide any benefit to anyone but it FEELS like it's activism.

This is where the phrase "posting isn't praxis" comes from.

When you're a little kid, and you see something you know is bad and upsetting, what you're encouraged to do is "tell an adult." It's good advice for children. That crap is above your pay grade your parents or a teacher or whatever probably

have a better ability than you to get it out of your sight, and better context whether they need to take any further steps to safeguard you and the general public from whatever gross thing it is that you encountered.

It's pretty easy to get well into adulthood without ever having that realization

that you are now, yourself, an adult, and should in fact have the skillset we as a society assume you do when we collectively tell kids to tell you about these things. You should know that if you find a dead animal inside your home that is a thing you personally need to immediately clean up. Get rid

of it, clean up any potential contamination, work out how this unpleasant situation came to be, and take some steps to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Tying this back into my metaphor here, if you, say, have a child, and that child starts shouting nazi crap its on you to explain how that doesn't

fly, ask where the hell your kid picked that crap up, make sure said child does not continue to be exposed to that sort, check what other awful garbage they have picked up.

Similarly, if you moderate a discord server, it's on you to ban any nazis who wander in, delete posts with dead animals, etc.

(That applies to both the metaphorical and the actual kind there, handily enough.)

Meanwhile, if you are in someone else's home, and you find a dead animal, you should tell that person about it, so they can clean it up.

But if you find a dead animal just out in the woods? You should know that you

should leave it where you found it, don't touch it, don't go near it, tell anyone you're responsible for not to touch it either, and just leave the area where the dead animal is. You absolutely do not pick it up and carry it around to show people, or drop it on the middle of someone's kitchen table.

Within the metaphor here, "the woods" would be really any context where you do not personally have the ability to do something about it, and there either is no authority you can report it to or they have clearly opted out of carrying out their responsibility. The whole site formerly known as Twitter

for instance counts as the woods. Anything from the current U.S. administration counts as "the woods." Some reddit thread counts as "the woods." You should probably not be hanging out in the woods, but if you do, don't be taking things back out with you, ever. Except like, pretty pictures maybe.

But yeah, instead of this very basic behavior I shouldn't have to explain, grown adults constantly make a habit of going out into the woods, finding fresh dead animals every day, and dumping them on the table. They convince themselves they're "raising awareness" or "documenting" or if they've really

lost touch with reality, maybe they think they're making the woods safer by doing this. And it gets to feel like an obligation. Get it in their heads they're Mandated Reporters on the subject of dead animals. Actively ruin their mental health staring at this all day. I myself was kind of doing this

for several years, but for the most part I never dumped any of it on anyone's table (rare exceptions like the headline with the TERF claiming to have been assaulted by a trans person coupled with the video of her walking up to said trans person and lifting them off the ground in an act of assault).

You just end up depressed and scared, and honestly, the rest of us were already fully aware there's lots of dead animals in the woods, and know they aren't generally posing us a risk over here in civilization. Except for when people drag them out of the woods to show everyone that is.

And finally-

This doesn't particularly fit in with the whole dead animal/table metaphor, beyond the disease vector angle, but you are actively helping the terrible awful people producing whatever rancid thing it is that's disgusting you by amplifying its reach. And you're encouraging them to keep doing it when

you react at all.

Some hatemonger on instagram talking about how we have to get rid of all the gay people because they cause hurricanes? That's pretty gross, but nobody's going to have to see it unless they're following that creep's feed... unless of course YOU (and why were you following a creep?)

come back to where all the cool people are, very far away from that loser, and share a link. Now all the gay people who follow you are getting needlessly nervous about this whackjob and his like-minded fellows doing hate crimes thinking they're making things less windy and clueless rubberneckers are

checking out the rest of his feed. Maybe they like some of what he has to say, maybe they feel compelled to bring back more of his dead animals and drop them on the table. Meanwhile he's definitely noticing that tirade did way better numbers than the usual audience of 30 klansmen who never leave the

house, so he moves in that direction some more. Maybe he decides you're a "lolcow" because you were so "triggered" you went sharing it all over and starts stalking you. Maybe people share your link around to the point it does huge numbers and he gets invited to give the same speech at C-PAC some day

All of these scenarios are big wins for team dead animal and objectively awful situations for team kitchen table.

And obviously, this doesn't mean I want everyone to bury their head in the sand and ignore all the horrible things they encounter. Just, you know, remember that you are a grown up.

If there is a person you can report a dead animal to which might lead to it being properly cleaned up, do that, but do that directly. Pick up a phone or send an e-mail, or a DM or whatever to the person in question. Do not dump it on the kitchen table and shout their name hoping they come and see.

If there is an actual real practical thing people can do to help clean a dead animal up, you are more than welcome to encourage them to do so. Leaving a big note on the kitchen table that someone left a big dead animal in an FCC meeting, and you need volunteers to help clean that situation via form

is more than an acceptable thing to do. And also do that. I don't care if this dates the thread, get the hell on this one:
bsky.app/profile/bird...

‪@birdsaredinosaurs.bsky.social‬

My fellow cis folks,

The FCC is asking Americans to submit comments about whether the TV Oversight Management Board (TVOMB) should create new TV ratings to alert viewers to trans/gender content.

Time to be an ally and tell the FCC absolutely the fuck not. It takes five minutes to do.

Tell the FCC that LGBTQ Stories Don’t Need a Warning Label | GLAAD
glaad.org

Don't go leave that one to trans people to deal with either. There aren't enough of us and it puts us in danger having to directly get confrontational.

Things like that are a rare exception. You know that.

So! No dead animals on the table. No screenshots of feeds, no links to hate sites, no photos of hate crimes, no talking about whatever missives are coming from that moldy Scottish castle.

Instead share cute art of puppy girls making out or w/e.

It's Pride Month. It's not Constantly Remind Everyone They're a Persecuted Minority Month.
He started this at 2:10am his time.
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And finished over 90 minutes later, at 3:36am.
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Then he asks people to reply to his post with "anything queer-positive," though with conditions attached, as his computer is "mostly broken."
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No-one did. Strangely, there was one reply but I couldn't see it. I found it by checking the single like.
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Jake better not get his hopes up about this lady, though.
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He had said he wasn't streaming a little earlier in the evening.
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(Mary-Ann Stephenson is the new chair of the UK Equality and Human Rights Commission, and she was being questioned by MPs.)
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And a repost.
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Ostatnio edytowane:
Oh please let us get a catfish saga, oh please oh please.
Regrettably it wouldn't go far as he can't actually buy bitcoins or Home Depot gift cards.
I know it's just AI shilling onlyfans or some shit but I wish some turd-worlder would try to catfish him only to be googleshng'd at for 18* months.

*sunk cost fallacy. The jeet reads jake's ramblings and try to engage with them, he even looked into "kamen roder", formed sycophantic opinions on "ramen ½" and listened to "beast metal". He still doesn't understand the responses he gets. He's unwittingly spent weeks and weeks doing this but soon Violet will take the bait, he has too or all of this was for nothing...
 
The jeet reads jake's ramblings and try to engage with them, he even looked into "kamen roder", formed sycophantic opinions on "ramen ½" and listened to "beast metal". He still doesn't understand the responses he gets. He's unwittingly spent weeks and weeks doing this
Gradually he started to realize that his personal Kali Yuga had begun.
 
I know it's just AI shilling onlyfans or some shit but I wish some turd-worlder would try to catfish him only to be googleshng'd at for 18* months.

*sunk cost fallacy. The jeet reads jake's ramblings and try to engage with them, he even looked into "kamen roder", formed sycophantic opinions on "ramen ½" and listened to "beast metal". He still doesn't understand the responses he gets. He's unwittingly spent weeks and weeks doing this but soon Violet will take the bait, he has too or all of this was for nothing...
Reminds me of those scambaiters whose main aim is to just waste the scammer’s time. The scammer would probably assume Jake is a lonely old man. Which I suppose to all intents and purposes, he is.
 
Given Jake's extreme Executive Dysfunction and its tendency to manifest in a complete inability to do anything that he needs to do, especially if it concerns admin or communicating with normal people, I fully expect him to continue to complain about his tooth and for it to get worse and worse and for him to continue to do absolutely nothing about it (but keep saying he needs to) until it lands him in the ER. Given that an untreated dental abscess may have killed Cobes, things could get grim.
Then he'll blame it all on gamergate and "whisper networks", because it was obviously their fault that Jake doesn't brush his teeth, see a denistist, or stop eating junk food.
 
Reviewed the Jakestream for Monday 6/15/2026.

Times are tough - Jake spent a solid week trying to figure out why his computer was freezing every time he rebooted it. He thinks maybe it had something to do with a Windows update trying to install itself when he had 0% disk space available, but who knows? He's convinced the HD itself is not failing, he uninstalled all his Steam shovelware to clear up space.
Personally I think his enormous breasts were just blocking the air vents and making the computer overheat.

He got a late start and only streamed 5 hours, so he was supposedly going to do another stream the following day to finish up the A's. We'll see if he really did. He said usually he has an "RP session" (or something - he mumblemouthed it pretty hard) on Tuesday nights but it was cancelled.

He also mentioned his recent Kickstarter activity: Shadowrun Returns, "that Battletech game", Hazelnut Bastille, Mina the Hollower, and Zerospace. You can do the math yourself on how many insulin vials that'd have bought.

Here's the wallpaper for season 8 of alphabet slopstreaming:

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These just get worse and worse, it looks like it was photographed directly off of an old CRT.
 
He’s only been through the whole alphabet a couple times. I’m sure the next time through people are going to swarm in and lift yon busty maiden upon their shoulders and raise him to the highest echelons of Twitch.
 
Edward Gorcenski and Kav P think there's something sus about the progress pride flag.
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Jake thinks it might be a psyop.
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This is the criticism that TERFs and other nazis have been making of the progress flag from the start. Sad to see Kev and Jake headed towards full-on card-carrying status.

Also the black line is supposed to double for both Black people and people with AIDS. Which is funny.

Jake is strongly against including a CD drive because he assumes people would blind themselves while putting the CD drive together from the individual parts. 46:00
Jake's conception of the market for the Jaketendo is endlessly hilarious. People willing to construct, from scratch, a random console and program their own games for it. But also people too stupid to not shove their eye down on a lens and plug in the power while assembling something. (Which actually isn't a concern because optical drives don't operate this way in the first place. That's even if the laser was strong enough to harm your eyes. The laser has to be coordinated to the movement of the disc and drive or it can't read anything. The laser in every laser reader, like say the scanner at the store, is often typically inside the chassis of these things not to protect eyes but to enhance the reading. The light you often see is a reflection, not the actual laser beam. You'd probably have to stare directly into it for hundreds of hours to damage your eyes.)

And now that I think of it, has Jake confirmed that the scroll wheel thing doesn't also use a laser with its incredibly tiny camera like an optical mouse? What if I get lyme disease which ruins the use of my hands and I break the thing, I don't want to blind myself!
 
The laser in every laser reader, like say the scanner at the store, is often typically inside the chassis of these things not to protect eyes but to enhance the reading.
As someone who participated in many phaser battles with hand-held barcode scanners while working in a supermarket storeroom as a teenager I can attest to the truth of this. One of my colleagues would also hide under the bakery counter and try to hit me in the eyes with one while I was serving customers. Yet I can still see, though most days on KF I see something that makes me regret that.

We would also play baseball with a bread roll and a baguette.
 
Reviewed the extra Jakestream for Tuesday 6/16/2026.
Nothing interesting whatsoever. He says "Since I never stream on Tuesdays, no one's watching this live". I'm sure that's the only reason.
That’s the right way to build up a following. Assume no one is going to watch you, stream on days you never do, then wait for those tens of views to roll on in over the next week. Genius!

Haha I wasn’t far off.
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Jake's conception of the market for the Jaketendo is endlessly hilarious.
If he only got the money from the ad views of his youtube channel he could start mass production...

I think his quest to get ad-eligible comes from an external demand, I don't think he's not dumb enough to think that $0.0000000007 will help him in any way.
 
I think his quest to get ad-eligible comes from an external demand, I don't think he's not dumb enough to think that $0.0000000007 will help him in any way.
Who would be demanding it?
I think it's just another example of Jake's Encino Man syndrome, he's stuck in the early 2000s where anyone could just start making bank for doing nothing as soon as they got monetized on Youtube. :stress:
 
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