Iran Crisis & the 2026 War between Iran and the United States, Gulf States, and Israel - Please focus on news and coverage, not argumentation.

[draggs]

Operation Praying Mantis.mp4

Iran is being possessed by the spirit of Bob Chandler and is cutting the whole thing down:
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That little faggot got his own gayatollah
That little faggot he's a riallionaire

I want my, I want my, bridge and power plant daaaaaaaaaaaaay

 

[AbendCode12]

This war only hurts brown people.

 

[Hojicha]

hello, This doesn't have anything specific to the Iranian war but an anime about the Middle East and Genghis Khan has released a trailer on Eid.

some of the comments on YouTube are really funny because they say they are people who are without internet most of the time over in Iran, and are happy to see a pretty anime that's going to represent Muslims.

 

[Myrtle the Turtle]

An exclusive photo of the 3rd Khordad air defense system in the Kermanshah defense ring, which was hit by an Israeli projectile during the Ramadan War and suppressed.

The Khordad SAM is the Iranian copy of the Buk-M3. Note the burned up missiles laying flat in the third pic.

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

Null, I have a crazy idea on how to pay for all the new hardware you need to fight the tranny DDoSers. We need our most experienced doxers to go after Iran's financial networks.

 

[Clyde Cash's Left Teste]

LMAO Israel is getting taken for a RIDE by the Kurds. They have zero intentions of dying fighting Iran unless they're literally getting a country out of it, plus parts of Syria, Iraq and Turkey.

How would the Kurds getting a country even end up long term

 

[mindlessobserver]

hello, This doesn't have anything specific to the Iranian war but an anime about the Middle East and Genghis Khan has released a trailer on Eid.

some of the comments on YouTube are really funny because they say they are people who are without internet most of the time over in Iran, and are happy to see a pretty anime that's going to represent Muslims.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1oPCiZlXnYQ

I really do hate this. For one thing it depicts the Mongols as some force of unique evil that afflicted itself on the loli Muslims who were totally uwu and innocent.

I bet it will completely ignore how the Muslims provoked the Mongols by killing their ambassadors and trade represantives.

And I will bet BIG money they wont mention for a second how the Mongol advance across Asia was finally halted by the Marches of Austria and Moravia during the campaigns of 1241 and 1242.

The Catholic Church even called a crusade against the Mongols shortly after the clash with Austria. It petered out though due to the Mongol Empire falling into disunity over a succession crisis, thus making the need to do something less urgent.

Bet nobody here was ever told that either in history class

 

[draggs]

The Catholic Church even called a crusade against the Mongols shortly after the clash with Austria. It metered put though due tobthe Mobgol Empire falling into disubity over a succession crisis making the need to do something less urgent.

It wasn't the succession crisis per se but more that every time great khan die = all the claimants have to travel back to Karakorum, which is 4,000 miles from Austria as the crow flies lol

 

[Jungle Jim Jones]

That little faggot got his own gayatollah
That little faggot he's a riallionaire

The little faggot with the turban and the brillo pad?
Yeah buddy, that's his own beard
The little faggot got his own young virgins
The little faggot, he's a riallionaire

We got to bomb those missile launch sites
Custom JDAM deliveries
We got to bomb these rails and bridges
We got to bomb the IRGC...

 

[Gar For Archer]

So, what’s this thread’s odds on a happening this weekend now that sandniggers around the world have finished looking at their cube?

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

So, what’s this thread’s odds on a happening this weekend now that sandniggers around the world have finished looking at their cube?

20%, if that. Trump's bored with Iran and wants to move onto Cuba. He needs another easy win when he Lassos the Castro. Hegseth is also in Singapore for that Shangri La SEA defense conference.

 

[hugh mungus feed n sneed]

How would the Kurds getting a country even end up long term

Another landlocked shitstan full of retarded browns.

 

[Myrtle the Turtle]

Could be another trick to tame the oil markets. I find it hard to believe Iran didn't mine the strait with those hundreds of tiny boats the past two months. We won't know anytime soon thats for sure.

 

[mindlessobserver]

So, what’s this thread’s odds on a happening this weekend now that sandniggers around the world have finished looking at their cube?

Low. Right now the US is massing forces quietly while saying peace is just a pen stroke away. Really, all the USA wants is for Iran to publicly admit defeat and stop fucking with international waters.

Sadly, Iran is ruled by retards who are unwilling to give the American empire a ceremonial offering of earth and water in exchange for the Americans fucking off. Entire books will be written in the coming years trying to explain why the IRGC would rather die in a fire caused by B-52s then sign a meaningless bit of paper and return to status quo.

 

[ThisIsGonnaBeGood]

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Could be another trick to tame the oil markets. I find it hard to believe Iran didn't mine the strait with those hundreds of tiny boats the past two months. We won't know anytime soon thats for sure.

I wouldn't be too shocked if Iran either didn't have any real number of working mines to dump or just didn't dump any for fear of hitting their own ships.
The Strait is notoriously difficult to mine due to its depth and currents. If just the threat is enough to stop ships from moving, it's good enough for now.

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

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Could be another trick to tame the oil markets. I find it hard to believe Iran didn't mine the strait with those hundreds of tiny boats the past two months. We won't know anytime soon thats for sure.

Or they realized that 90% of their oil comes out of Kharg Island and has to traverse the Strait so having their mosaic defense dropping mines everywhere isn't the best idea.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

>slowed macarena
>anime plushie

fumo fumo?

 

[Ghostse]

>managed to create a firewall after restoring internet access
>Still uses hot wallet

I mean surely Russia and China could at least help them there right???

Nigga who do think gave us access to their wallet.dat?
Who sold Iran the equipment used to access their crypto before it was seized, after high level talks between Trump and Xi?

Apparently approx. a quarter (29 out of 109 total) of the biggest tankers stuck behind the Gate of Homoz, defined as vessels able to carry 700k+ barrels, have managed to quietly exit the Persian Gulf in what Bloomberg calls a 'slow, stealthy trickle' (just like what I try to manage when getting up to take a leak at 2 AM). All of these are non-Iranian vessels. Coupled with the recent reports of the USN smiting love-tapping Iranian boats & drone bases that try to get at transiting vessels (in hindsight, must've been some of these guys), maybe Trump actually did restart Project Freedom but just won't admit to it?

My post about it got swept by the Jannies along with the knock-off rolex of a $30,000 millionaire but:

It is not a restart of Project Freedom; the US is not sending warships through the straight of homoz to escort vessels. USN, in coordination with the GCC, are supplying navigation support (courses, purportedly using UAVs and helicopters to sweep for mines) to ships that are willing to run the gauntlet - according the ANONYMOUS SOURCES THAT ARE FAMILIAR WITH THE MATTER JUST TRUST ME BRO primarily Chinese ones because China has incredible level on Iran right this minute.

I guess I really should have just trusted him, bro. The anonymous source WAS familiar with the matter.

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Could be another trick to tame the oil markets. I find it hard to believe Iran didn't mine the strait with those hundreds of tiny boats the past two months. We won't know anytime soon thats for sure.

The US has 16k 24-hour all weather multi-sprectrum glowsat coverage of the strait.

Or they realized that 90% of their oil comes out of Kharg Island and has to traverse the Strait so having their mosaic defense dropping mines everywhere isn't the best idea.

Pretty much this; if Iran closes the physical gate accross the straight of homoz, it means THIER ships can't leave either.

We're not touching youuuuu

Funds are safu.
Ceasefire is intact.

---

Rate me retarded but how exactly do they just “grab” the wallets? I thought the whole point of crypto was that your wallet’s untouchable without both physical access to the hardware and the encryption key.

access doesnt have to be physical
if you gain remote access to a system via malware or phishing or otherwise, you can just copy the data that makes up the wallet like you can any other file

that doesnt really answer the question though, how did they do it? im assuming they didnt hack a computer sitting in a government building in iran and steal the keys.
if the iranians were stupid enough to have a managed wallet on some american exchange like coinbase, though... lol, lmao. i refuse to believe even iran could be that dumb

That wallet is just a file of very long and complex unique numbers.
When you have access to nation-state level "fuck you" tools all sorts of fun options become available, from taking over the node of workers by adding 51+% of the current node capacity, to using PoW network ananlysis to ID wallet owners and parties in transactions

https://www.commondreams.org/news/2018/03/20/nsa-worked-track-down-bitcoin-users-snowden-documents-reveal

So depending on the coin/network, just working back on the number is possible.

However, real life is super gay and lame.
Its more likely one of two scenarios (or possibly a combination of both) transpired;
1) System compromise and file copy. The coins numbers in the wallet are long but human-transcribable. Camera phone + OCR + read-access to the file = stolen coins.
2) More likely: "Hello less retarded Iranian. Would you like to help us at the CIA yeet Iran's crypto wallets in exchange for Skyhook and 1% of the recovered wallet value?"

Them pocketing the weapons they were supposed to distribute to the Iranians probably didn't help things either.

Point of order: we only have Trump's word for that.

LMAO Israel is getting taken for a RIDE by the Kurds. They have zero intentions of dying fighting Iran unless they're literally getting a country out of it, plus parts of Syria, Iraq and Turkey.

Kurds are only in it if means killing Turks.

If that's the case, not running his mouth about it is one of the smartest things that Trump has done during this conflict. Maybe one of the Joint Chiefs made him realize that bragging about doing shit on social media is a massive OPSEC compromise, and they'd have a better chance just slipping boats out a bit at a time.

People keep forgetting that Trump is a master of bullshit. That includes misdirection.

How would the Kurds getting a country even end up long term

It wouldn't. Turkey would never permit it because it would immediately spill over to civil war in turkey.

riallionaire

thread glossary expanded.

 

[Snekposter]

This is all so fake and gay, can we get back to bombing already?
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Man, I had no idea Prez was so bloodthirsty...

I'm sure some will be downright celebratory at the suffering of others, on the grounds that we mostly don't want to die for Israel, but anyway - prices in the UK are around $8.20 per US gallon. And that's if you shop around. I have seen higher. Our supermarkets operate on very thin margins and living costs are often more focused on utilities, local services, necessary goods. Which is to say there's not a lot of elasticity in people's ability to absorb rising food prices. They've been rising but the full downstream impact of lower yields in staple crops due to fertiliser shortages, and then in a few months from now higher harvest costs due to raised fuel prices, will all send them higher still, plus the generalised impact of transport costs rising and everything else downstream of energy.

I'm sure now we'll get the cackling pro-Zionist joy in that and some "oh, if you were good little Europeans we might let you buy some more of our oil", but anyway, some numbers for the Burgers. $8.20 and still going up.

Oh no! Anyway...

Of course they're rebuilding. Superglue, tinfoil and cardboard are still in good supply.

They probably unlocked the Worker Shoes tech.

Not sure what you mean by "we". You mean just people generally? Yes, it's a petrochemical process. People aren't out collecting cow piss or anything.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haber_process

Pretty easy to get fertilizer. You just need coal, iron, and air. Real shame nobody in Europe has coal deposits.

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Yeah, I ordered a war, not a ceasefire. I demand a refund.

How would Ted Cruz know anything except how to kill couples making out in cars and mock the police for their inability to catch him

Guess that explains Motjaba's disappearance. He was getting some tutoring time in and the Zodiac Killer paid them both a visit.

This may be the most incorrect thing you've ever said, @SaidNoOneEver.

Hey man, it takes a couple hours for a JDAM kit to roll off the lines. Pretty sure the Iranians can find a guy named Mohammed or Ali faster than that.
https://babylonbee.com/news/iran-warns-us-it-has-huge-stockpile-of-supreme-leaders

TEHRAN — Amid rumors that the newly chosen Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei had been injured in an airstrike, the Iranian regime issued a statement warning the U.S. that it had a huge stockpile of supreme leaders.

The embattled Islamic government has suffered repeated losses to its high-level leadership over the last 10 days, but despite U.S. assertions that the conflict was nearing its end, a spokesman for the regime said on Tuesday that it had secretly spent the last several years working behind the scenes to enrich raw mullahs into weapons-grade supreme leaders.

"We have enough ayatollahs to last a century," said the official spokesman for the Islamic Republic of Iran. "We have been stockpiling them for quite some time, and they are safely stored in a hidden location. Your bombs cannot get to them. We have been saving them for such a time as this, and will not hesitate to deploy them. You have been warned."

Though the U.S. and Israel had successfully eliminated the previous ayatollah and several high-ranking military leaders, reports indicated that there may be vast, underground storage facilities where large numbers of robed Muslim clerics in turbans were stacked on top of each other. "Few know just how large their supply of supreme leaders truly is," one insider said. "They've been producing them and saving them for years. It's terrifying."

At publishing time, new reports indicated that U.S. special forces had been deployed to locate and seize control of Iran's supreme leader stockpile.

The CDG is there to accomplish several missions. First, so the French muslims can participate on the Hajj and then return to rape more underaged french girls on the trip back to france. Second, to carry France's formal unconditional surrender documents to Iran and the other gulf nations. Third, to allow French naval command to look at the USN, and mutter insults about Americans under their breath as they chain smoke.

Have a photo from 2001 of the CDG next to Enterprise. One of them which has been steaming around for a while without a trip in the yards to scrap the gunk off the sides still has a meticulous flight deck, whereas the other one which has freshly left port does not.

What's funny is this is how the USA stabilized Iraq. We realized Al Qaeda was paying these idiots to attack us. So we just paid them more to not attack us.

The IRL version of "Let me pay you $100 to fuck off".

Touman

Wait, what? When did they become a Clan? It does explain their complete and total idiocy and blind stubbornness though. Got Vahidi over there pulling a Nikolai Malthus constantly yelling about how Trump dares to refuse his batchall.

sssx.io_1779149478407.mp4
The Ghost of Tehran will return in a few months in The Ghost of Havana.

Man, its been a while since I played that game. I should reinstall it sometime soon-ish.

Can't keep the B-ONE down!

I'm getting a B-One-R just thinking about it.

You're supposed to offer to suck his dick first, did you not watch the finale?


As dystopian as at seems at a glance, it's really no different than this shit
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Warfighters have always been retarded coomers.

And shitposters, what with the bomber named BIG NIGGER by its crew.

The Straight of Ti-winks Strait of Taiwan would be an absolute death zone for chinese invasion ships. shore-launched man-portable silkworm-style missiles would massacre any invasion force. They would need to build a causeway out of corpses, or try a long approach -coming north or south or more likely from the east where spotters can't just see ships loading for approach with binoculars.
Trying a "long way" approach would expose chinese ships to USN fleet and submarines.

They can't come from the east because that's all mountainous jungle perfect for a Kung Fu villain's hidden fortress, and in the south and middle the Penghu Islands are in the middle of the strait, and even if militarily neutralized they'd still force the invasion flotilla to divert around them, which leaves a northern attack on Taipei as their only real option. But of course that all assumes the Taiwanese don't just use what's on the Kinmen Islands in Xiamen Bay to shell Xiamen proper in retaliation, a city of a few million people, one of the world's biggest shipping ports, and one of China's first Special Economic Zones. The loss of izzat face would be incalculable. Especially since that's where the Taiwanese have their 240mm siege howitzers we gave them located, and a 9.4 inch explosive shell is a 9.4 inch explosive shell.

The USAF refuses to consider a proper replacement to the A-10 because they loathe being stuck with the CAS role, but also refuse to allow the US army to have any planes because they refuse to surrender any more of "their turf" than they've been forced to already by the Marines and Navy, and they only have thier carve outs because their aviation programs pre-date the Airforce as a separate branch.

Didn't stop LeMay from trying, curse his name.

 

[Myrtle the Turtle]

Iran has started selling oil and natural gas to Pakistan via railway now. I hope the media clowns Trump over this and hammers him hard. What a stupid idea to trust Pakistan with anything. How retarded do you have do be for jeets to show you the art of the deal?