Celebrities Who Aren't Supposed to be Close Relatives but Obviously Are - Faceclocking Hall of Fame

[gildersleeve]

We need a name for it.

Whatever it is.

The Final Facial Judgment?
The Great Facial Awakening?
The Facial Apocalypse? (Anyone know Greek?)
The Facestorm of the Century?

Carrying on...

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Plausible as fuck, no? That's PTA's other, previous black girlfriend. KC Hathaway. I wonder if that Magnolia character was based on her, and if the Mackey character were based on PTA. PTA might have resented his own real biological mother, if my hunch is correct.

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YEP, that same masculine bitch again.

And that, once again, is Del Close.

PTA went to Emerson College.

So did Bill Burr.

They were each students of DFW.

They each wound up marrying a black chick.

But strangely, Wallace himself wound up with...

...a literal fucking Karen.

Karen GREEN, i.e., a fucking kikewhore.

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Here's the latest hypothesis I'm exploring.

Top left = George Kelly, the playwright, who was Princess Grace's uncle, which means he was the granduncle of Prince Albert of Monaco, who attended Amherst College in the early 1980s, and wouldn't ya know it, he and David Foster Wallace were in the Amherst Glee Club together...until Wallace mysteriously became extremely depressed and dropped out and fled back home...I wonder why. Anyone else wonder why?

@Broadside
@Loris Yeltsin
@DerStroopWaffel
@George Lucas
@gildersleeve
@AbendCode12
@Ibanez RG 350EX

Hmmm...

The Mappening?

p.s. Who else looooves Magnolia's frog scene?

https://bitchute.com/video/GGBYQLHMtAGi/

I have been both touched and blessed by you. Tell me your opinion on transvestigation. Too many men and women in Hollywood are clearly not whom they claim to be. Some sort of humilation ritual. Additionaly I think Arthur C. Clarke to have had some sort of hand in this. Too many predictions to be a coincidence.

 

[Ron Jeremy Stan Account]

What happened?

 

[Incandenza]

Who hurt you on Lipstick Alley, Paul?

Azealia Banks and her 5,000 burner fonts, basically. That is an absolute fact, aside from the estimated number of her burners, which could range from 500 to 50,000 who the fuck knows. Plus the Knowleses, I'm sure a couple of them are there, not to mention their paid/brainwashed Beyhive fanatics. Erykah hates me, I know that for a fact, from Instagram, and it's mutual, she's a sick stupid cunt. Janelle the transhumanist future bitch, and/or her Wondaland faggots, might stalk me there just to downthumb me. Kelis used to like me, she'd reply to me and Like my shit on Instagram, then I found out she's a Black Panther Maoist, and I disowned her, and she blocked me. Nicki is either pro-me or anti-me, depending on which split personality of hers, I guess? Ayo might have been the worst culprit all along. Quite a few celebs and their P.R. teams are there. Then there are the various deranged black supremacists, and all the ADL/Mossad spies, and the Chinese Communist saboteurs, and the Skynet bots (which REALLY hate me), and the DNC mercenaries, and on and on. Oh my god, and the FUCKING POINTERS, how could I forget them...including/especially the three fake-dead ones. All told, my surprise black female enemies wound up persuading me, a guy who had absolutely been on their side for years, almost a fucking super-simp for them, that they are too stupid and evil for freedom, and should all be reenslaved.

(And was it via your eyes? Is that why you're just fucking awful supremely terrific at this?)

Also maybe don't recommend a poet on KF if you frequently are like the only person to post on his Instagram.

You missed the part where I couldn't possibly give less of a shit who knows my identity, in fact, ideally, I want EVERRRRRRYONE to know exactly who I am. Anonymity has ALWAYS been a myth. Cabal and Cabal's minions have always known EXACTLY who we are. The only people anonymity keeps from knowing you, are potential allies. Anonymity is retarded for any wannabe anti-Cabal hero. Doxxing myself is probably paradoxically precisely the thing which ensured my safety. That, plus Saint Barbra's blessed effect. You know who I am now? GRRRRREAT. Unironically.

So then, you know that I grew up going to school in a Southie public school classroom not unlike this, very similar, this is a good approximation:



When you grow up around black people, black facial patterns and black facial quirks become as familiar and distinguishable to you as your own family's. Indeed, their negroid faces are MORE distinctive, not less, because of all the interesting mixes. But even if they did "all look alike", if you grow up around penguins, or if you belatedly start paying extremely close attention to penguin faces (plus context like voices and smells and physical tics) you'll eventually be able to differentiate between a colony of fucking penguins, even.

You stealth accused me of being awful at this.

One strike and you're Ignored, now.

Fuck off.

(Buy his books, asshole.)

 

[Incandenza]

"transvestigation"

@gildersleeve

Here's a little bone I'll throw you:

Michelle Obama was born a female.

A virilized female. With a megaclit.

Birth control hormones cause virilization in the womb. Women have been using birth control for how many decades? There are lots of virilized women out there. Virilized FEMALES. I cannot bother with "transvestigators" until they understand virilization and incorporate it into their sloppyass, counter-fucking-productive anti-research. Which they won't. Because most of them are TRANNIES THEMSELVES PROMOTING GENDER CONFUSION, youuuuuu fuuuuuuuucking moronnnnnnnnns, ugh.

But if you have a really juicy legit lead...

Tag me and I'll look.

Tag me ELSEWHERE.

This is a FACECLOCKING thread.

NOT a transvestigation thread.

The evil bitches obsessed with trans shit (i.e., MOSTLY TRANNIES THEMSELVES, probably) on Lipstick Alley looooooooved hijacking and derailing threads with bogus trans angles.

Keep it ANTI-BOGUS, and ELSEWHERE, thx.

 

[Incandenza]

I think OP's dad might be a rotary autocannon with such a rate of fire.

Fun fact: Tom Kratman knows me. I can't tell you why without doxxing myself, so, guess why. THAT Kratman, the prolific and mediocre but somewhat acclaimed military sci-fi author, the all-time fruitful lolcow, the pathetic faggot fraud, the JEW...a super-Zionist one, at that, too...even though he once did declamation at Boston Latin School in full Hitler cosplay during the early 1970s. The cunt being blackmailed by the literal-Freemason cripple his wife Yolanda has served for decades. The asshole whose life was almost entirely ruined a couple times in 2008, same year my life was almost entirely ruined. He once said I would make "a good roadblock", which I interpreted to mean he thought I was useless but could clog the enemy's progress. But he should have meant Roadblock from GI Joe. And maybe he did...he's a sneaky kike.

 

[31 Black]

>Joined three days ago
>Acknowledges being newfag
>Makes long posts about celebrities
>Gets negative feedback from regular users
>Gets defensive about said criticisms
>Douple & triple posts constantly
>Gets triangle in less than 48 hours


And yet somehow this nigga seems as happy as pigs in shit.

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

@Null new schizo for you to check out!

 

[Incandenza]

>Joined three days ago
>Acknowledges being newfag
>Makes long posts about celebrities
>Gets negative feedback from regular users
>Gets defensive about said criticisms
>Douple & triple posts constantly
>Gets triangle in less than 48 hours


And yet somehow this nigga seems as happy as pigs in shit.

Enjoy your eternal doom, faggot.

 

[Incandenza]

@Null new schizo for you to check out!

He's aware of me already. He doesn't seem to be bothered by me. In fact, he Liked my Staff complaint about Trombonista, the admin who gave me that bullshit triangle. I wonder why Null chose to Like that complaint of mine. Hmmmmmmmm.

 

[Cyberpunk Panatela]

A.OP is into:

1. Physiognomy
2. Transvestigation
3. Being "gangstalked"

B. OP is also out and proud about being a nigger.

AND

C. All 3 of the "topics" in point A are beloved by boomers enrolled at the Zuckerbergian University of Facebook.

THUS IT CAN BE CONCLUDED THAT

D. OP is ghetto-grade boomer niggertrash

QUOD ERAT DEMONSTRANDUM.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

What do you think about these 4:

Robert Redford
Brad Pitt
Travis Fimmel
Charlie Hunnam

Look them up by pairs and you'll see the quad.

Also, why does Nietzsche have Down syndrome in your pic? Is this a meme I've never seen?

 

[MIU]

Always thought Tom Hanks and Bill Murray looked kinda alike, not enough to be like "WOW THEY'RE THE EXACT SAME" but i confused those two and Jim Belushi a lot as a kid.

 

[Incandenza]

A.OP is into:

1. Physiognomy
2. Transvestigation
3. Being "gangstalked"

B. OP is also out and proud about being a nigger.

AND

C. All 3 of the "topics" in point A are beloved by boomers enrolled at the Zuckerbergian University of Facebook.

THUS IT CAN BE CONCLUDED THAT

D. OP is ghetto-grade boomer niggertrash

QUOD ERAT DEMONSTRANDUM.

Thank you for making it so abundantly and immediately clear that you are an evil lying treasonous doomed cunt. Ignored.

 

[Cyberpunk Panatela]

Thank you for making it so abundantly and immediately clear that you are an evil lying treasonous doomed cunt. Ignored.

I'd consider myself honoured by your exclusion, but your mendacious behaviour to date calls the veracity of your very statement into question.

 

[31 Black]

Enjoy your eternal doom, faggot.

I mean, I enjoyed Doom Eternal.

 

[Lawltism2]

>Joined three days ago
>Acknowledges being newfag
>Makes long posts about celebrities
>Gets negative feedback from regular users
>Gets defensive about said criticisms
>Douple & triple posts constantly
>Gets triangle in less than 48 hours


And yet somehow this nigga seems as happy as pigs in shit.

I see genuine societal value in figuring out what key life choices makes for a happy schizo. They seem pretty rare.

Though I'm not sure how accurate this conclusion is because when I think happy, I don't normally think of people who can make lists of Internet users and their current parasocial status with them.

 

[Incandenza]

What do you think about these 4:

Robert Redford
Brad Pitt
Travis Fimmel
Charlie Hunnam

Look them up by pairs and you'll see the quad.

Also, why does Nietzsche have Down syndrome in your pic? Is this a meme I've never seen?

Saw your post when I clicked to briefly unignore someone else. I will take you off Ignore, if you have genuine points/questions like that.

I have no idea who the fuck Fimmel or Hunnam are, they sound like fake names, but duh, of courrrrrrrse Redford and Pitt will wind up closely related.

What I have tried to focus on is the NON-OBVIOUS, and/or, rather, the BLINDINGLY-OBVIOUS WHICH NONE OF YOU OBLIVIOUS CUNTS EVER NOTICED BEFORE. Frankly, I did not start this thread so that YOUUUUUUUUU fucking randos can pipe up with cliched hypotheses of "your own", lol. ALL OF MY WORK THAT YOU WILL EVER SEE IS MY OWN. My own hypotheses, my own memes, my own videos. There are so many UNPRECEDENTED REVELATIONS in the first two posts of this thread, that you should all be still digesting them, appreciating them, piggybacking observations about THEM, helping meeeeee and MY ORIGINAL EPIPHANIES AND PROOFS. But no, most of you fucking losers cannot tolerate the blow to your rotten hollow ego of me and my supergenius for this (and many other things) merely existing, and so most of you refuse to help me, your superior.

But you seem to have changed your mind recently.

Cool.

Good.

It's a meme you've never seen, correct. Not unless you followed me on Twitter or on Lipstick Alley or on Instagram. I made it, in early 2025. What does it mean? To me, who made it, it means the rest of you are sooooooo fucking stupefied, that a retard who merely possesses one speck of honesty and half a speck of common sense is now the contemporary equivalent of Nietzsche. You people are all THAT fucking stupid. Or else unthinkably dishonest and evil. One or the other.

But also, I do have a few gripes with Nietzsche.

He wasn't right about everything.

Sometimes he was retarded.

Here's the full meme:

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

What I have tried to focus on is the NON-OBVIOUS, and/or, rather, the BLINDINGLY-OBVIOUS WHICH NONE OF YOU OBLIVIOUS CUNTS EVER NOTICED BEFORE. Frankly, I did not start this thread so that YOUUUUUUUUU fucking randos can pipe up with cliched hypotheses of "your own", lol. ALL OF MY WORK THAT YOU WILL EVER SEE IN MY OWN. My own hypotheses, my own memes, my own videos. There are so many UNPRECEDENTED REVELATIONS in the first two posts of this thread, that you should all be still digesting them, appreciating them, piggybacking observations about THEM, helping meeeeee and MY ORIGINAL EPIPHANIES AND PROOFS. But no, most of you fucking losers cannot tolerate the blow to your rotten hollow ego of me and my supergenius for this (and many other th8ngs) merely existing, and so most of you refuse to help me, your superior.

new copypasta

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

But you seem to have changed your mind recently.

I have not replied to you before, I don't think. And it's rather rude to call me a cunt.

Hunnam and Pitt:

Travis Fimmel and Brad Pitt:

 

[Incandenza]

I have not replied to you before, I don't think. And it's rather rude to call me a cunt.

Hunnam and Pitt:
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Travis Fimmel and Brad Pitt:
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You reacted negatively. Given how this website is largely dominated by sociopathic trolls, I already have a zero tolerance policy for certain reactions which are gaslighting attempts or might as well be.

Okay, so, you're definitely observing close biological relationships, they look like, I dunno, 1st cousins once removed? Plus the Hardy face, you forgot Hardy. Hardy + that guy is creepy because they look like clones...which means they're probably identical twins who slightly diverged? Or just clones, since it's been a thing WAY LONGER than we've been told.

I'll think about these people, going forward.

They simply weren't on my radar before.

Wanna bet Hardy's my half-brother, lol?