Disney Adults / Disneymania

[Mörkö]

Take a look at it on mobile and its general appearance will likely make more sense.

I did and you are 100% right. It's so idiotproof it's almost offensive, even a Disney adult could figure out how to buy a ticket in 3 clicks or less.

 

[HandsomeDan]

Wyświetl załącznik 7551602

If this was indeed posted in all seriousness and not as a joke, it really is time for the detonation of a massive nuclear warhead, there is no hope.

Not gonna lie, when I first heard about this, my heart kinda stopped because I'm in the process of planning a family vacation soon (a cruise, no less). lol. New fear unlocked.

But seriously, how stupid can a person be to set their kid on the railing? That's insane. It's pretty miraculous that the kid is all right, so thank God for that.

Id read some of the recent stories on the carnival cruise rule changes and watch some of the videos that led to these changes, if you really want a legitimate reason not to go on a cruise.

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

Funnily enough there actually WAS a plan to build another park, it was called “Disney’s America” and was apparently going to be built in Virginia, and would've been a smaller park focused on a more "local" feel rather than being a giant nationwide attraction kind of deal like World and Land. It was scrapped in the 90s, but the idea of more parks has crossed the execs minds once or twice at least.

Wasn't that the one they wanted to build over a civil war battlefield not too far from where Chris Chan lives?

 

[HandsomeDan]

Wasn't that the one they wanted to build over a civil war battlefield not too far from where Chris Chan lives?

Yes and it was going to have an actual Civil War section with a walk through battle as well.

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

The Wall Street Journal letting the world know about something that I am sure will create well adjusted children later in the life.

 

[Umaibae]

My mom is a boomer version of a Disney Adult. Big family vacations were always Disneyland or Disney World unless my dad put his foot down hard enough. The house was Disney vomit for all holidays. I had a Disney wardrobe until I learned to vocalize my preferences. Set me up to fucking loathe the parks, the movies, the characters.

You know what family vacation from my childhood I remember most fondly? A three week road trip to places like Yellowstone across the West. NOT Disneyland.

 

[Soso]

The Wall Street Journal letting the world know about something that I am sure will create well adjusted children later in the life.
Wyświetl załącznik 7633029

Those poor children are either going to be more obsessed with Disney than their mothers, or wind up virulently hating Disney due to the trauma.

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

Those poor children are either going to be more obsessed with Disney than their mothers, or wind up virulently hating Disney due to the trauma.

Hopefully the second.

My mom is a boomer version of a Disney Adult. Big family vacations were always Disneyland or Disney World unless my dad put his foot down hard enough. The house was Disney vomit for all holidays. I had a Disney wardrobe until I learned to vocalize my preferences. Set me up to fucking loathe the parks, the movies, the characters.

You know what family vacation from my childhood I remember most fondly? A three week road trip to places like Yellowstone across the West. NOT Disneyland.

I am so sorry. That sounds terrible. My parents took my to Disney World once when I was like 7 and I hated it so they dropped it in the future.

 

[NoReturn]

Millennials will finally be able to achieve their homeownership goals in beautiful North Carolina!
Too poor for Golden Oak and Storyliving? Worry not! Pinch those pennies and you'll be able to settle down in beautiful Asteria!

0:59

Grandma can come, too!


Bonus content: Cossposting Disney food simulacra from another thread:

1:30

1:28

1:31

 

[The Mighty Banth]

It's saddening to hear how far the parks have fallen and miserable the experience is for so many. My family had a blast back in the 90s but it seems both the parks and the people were better then.

I hope whatever happens, there is a return to the fun and memories the parks were once capable of generating.

 

[Robot Gentleman]

Some Disney Adults are creating a dating app for other Disney Adults to find hookups.

A fairy tale ending could be just around the corner.

Last week, an app developer took to TikTok with a big announcement for Disney fans looking to make love connections. Single Riders is a proposed new dating app that aims to connect Disney devotees — along with other theme park enthusiasts — with one another.

The latest briefing, shared on the platform’s TikTok account @singleridersapp, revealed that the app will begin searching for beta testers soon. The app’s “Single Riders” moniker echoes Disney World’s single rider lines, which allow unaccompanied park guests to mingle and fill empty seats — effectively cutting down on wait time.

In the same way, the app invites the massive franchise’s community of fanatics to plan dates in the park, discuss their shared Disney-related interests, or, alternatively, build platonic friendships.

“This would be the only dating app I’d ever consider getting on,” enthused one commenter.

“I go to the parks alone and it would be AWESOME to have a feature that shows if other singles are at the parks at the same time,” suggested one fan on the prowl.

“Noticing it’s all ladies in the comments. Hope we can get some fellas excited for this too,” noted one skeptical Disney fan.

Meanwhile, a wave of commenters proposed including filters like height, location, age, political affiliation and education, which other popular dating apps offer.

L(A)

Naturally the lead dev announced the project while wearing a Monsters Inc pajama onesie:

1:19

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

Naturally the lead dev announced the project while wearing a Monsters Inc pajama onesie:

dude never could have cut it cruising at Mannequins

 

[Soso]

Naturally the lead dev announced the project while wearing a Monsters Inc pajama onesie:

This is why I'm always against the "Let people enjoy things" crowd cause you get degenerates like this. Guy looks like he hasn't been outside for a long time (unless it's a Disney park, that is)

 

[haunted vagina]

More evidence for the proposition that the "unecessary thick rimmed glasses, enormous facial hair, tats, piercings, etc" look is trying to cover up your face because you're ashamed of either the nature or fundamental lack of existence of your true self. The only way to push it even further is to extend the shitty hats that normally go with it to covering your entire upper body with a costume all the time.

 

[Valstrax]

Too poor for Golden Oak and Storyliving? Worry not! Pinch those pennies and you'll be able to settle down in beautiful Asteria!

MY CULTURE IS NOT YOUR COSTUME

(sorry, had to make the joke since the names sounded similar)

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Never really got into Disney as a kid because I got sick of seeing it fucking everywhere, but I've been falling down the rabbit hole of horror adaptations of Disney properties that have lapsed into public domain. There are a few gems in there.

Spoiler: Spoilered for length - mostly ordered from best to worst

The Ugly Stepsister (2025) - Cinderella is a complete bitch, stepsister is forced by her mother to undergo strenuous training and cosmetic procedures to groom herself for the prince's ball.

The Death of Snow White (2025) - More respectful and faithful to the 1937 classic than Disney's official remake. Cast actual dwarves rather than CGI abominations.

Cinderella's Revenge (2024) - Just a bit of low budget campy gore. Title is pretty self-explanatory.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023) - More slasher camp. First entry in the Twisted Childhood Universe. Yes, there is an entire cinematic universe in the works.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (2024) - A hard left turn that retcons the first one. I'll admit I did not see "Pooh is Christopher Robin's missing twin who was abducted by a mad scientist" coming

The Mouse Trap (2024) - More slasher camp. Ending ruined it.

Cinderella's Curse (2024) - Blatant Carrie rip-off.

Considering how sacred these properties are to Disney adults, I'd love to see their reaction to the desecrated corpses of their deities.

These are just the ones I've personally watched. There are many, many more. The Ugly Stepsister and The Death of Snow White are my favorites from the bunch.

 

[Rudolf's Friend]

It's saddening to hear how far the parks have fallen and miserable the experience is for so many. My family had a blast back in the 90s but it seems both the parks and the people were better then.

I hope whatever happens, there is a return to the fun and memories the parks were once capable of generating.

Society would have to change for that to happen, and Disney would have to go back to marketing towards Kids again.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Gonna need an entire puzzle box for the autism I'm about to display.

The latest installment in the Twisted Childhood Universe, Bambi: The Reckoning, just hit theaters. While I wait for some blessed soul to make it available to pirate, I thought I'd fill y'all in on the absolute madness that is the TCU.

I mentioned the first 2 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey movies in my last post. There are currently 4 movies in the TCU that have been released:

Spoiler: spoiler for length

The first Blood and Honey film was a bait-and-switch. It's a movie that exists within the TCU as a bastardized "based on a true story" retelling of what has been dubbed "The Hundred Acre Massacre". Blood and Honey 2 follows Christopher Robin after the in-universe release of the first film. Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, etc. were all children abducted by a mad scientist who turned them into mutant human-animal hybrids. Pooh is Christopher Robin's missing twin.

The best way I can think to sum up Peter Pan's Neverland Nightmare is this:
-Peter Pan taking a child to Neverland = strangling them to death
-Tinkerbell = a junkie tranny, real name Timmy, who was abducted by Peter Pan as a child and groomed into being his partner in crime. Timmy "felt like a girl at heart" and was convinced by Peter Pan that his family didn't love him and didn't want him. In reality, they'd spent decades searching for him and his father left his room untouched in hopes that he'd come home one day. It's a shockingly poignant commentary on the trans community/trans children and grooming. ETA: The actor who plays Tinkerbell is a tranny, though appears to have transitioned pretty late in life.
-Pixie dust = heroin or some other hard drug supplied by Peter Pan to Tinkerbell to keep him subservient.
-Captain hook = another child abducted by Peter Pan.
A character in Peter Pan's Neverland Nightmare wearing a Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey shirt:

There are 2 movies planned to be released in 2025 and 2026 and another 7 currently in development:

Spoiler: spoiler for length

Pinocchio: Unstrung: Geppetto introduces his grandson, James, to a magical doll called Pinocchio, who develops a friendship. However, unaware of Pinocchio's naïve nature, James introduces him to the world, resulting in the doll going on a crusade to eliminate all things bad.

They got one of the founding fathers of modern horror on board:



Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble: characters from each of the preceding installments team up to hunt down the individual survivors of their massacres and seek to take over the world in the process.

The poster is gold:

Not much to say about these since it's so early.

These guys have gone full force and I am in love. They're actually having fun and doing something creative with this properties. It's the most glorious piss take of all time, encompassing both the Disney classics and the MCU.

 

[Arbiter]

The Wall Street Journal letting the world know about something that I am sure will create well adjusted children later in the life.
Wyświetl załącznik 7633029

I can't imagine trying to learn with thousands of people bustling around me, babies crying, music blaring, parades and honking street cars and horses going by.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

something creative

"Dark fairytale reimagining" had not been creative since it started existing. It just hits author-based tales now.