💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Girl Named Sandoz]

If you told me some anon on /ck/ made this just for a laugh I'd believe it without a second thought.

even /ck/'s shitposts are far too high quality to be compared to this

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

You must be suffering from something to use 32 cups of flour and bake a 375.
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>Blueberrys
Jack didn't even graduate kindergarten.

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>Self rising
I guess it tried as hard as Jack doing half a push-up.

32 cups of flour??? LMAO!!!!!!!! I want some YT shitposter to make this.

 

[Homer Simpson]

I don't care if it takes every tax dollar, we need to keep Jack alive so he can make more stuff like this. I would pay for a physical copy of his cook book and put it with the real ones just to flex.

 

[AltisticRight]

32 cups of flour??? LMAO!!!!!!!! I want some YT shitposter to make this.

To be fair, his result looked like concrete cupcakes so maybe he used even more than 32 cups.

 

[Harambe]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ty_40HkvwAwTOR is too shit for me to archive, send help frens.

Got to love how Jack is impressed by everything that is normally considered bad in a restaurant.
Gigantic menu = GUD
Food coming out within 2 minutes of ordering = GUD
Piping hot food that's clearly been microwaved = GUD

We also got a new bit of sage restaurant wisdom. Mexican restaurants quality comes from salsa, Chinese restaurant quality comes from orange chicken. You can tell how good they are by the quality of their entrée, imagine that.

The menu's size is not the biggest problem.
The speed of the kitchen is only kind of a problem. 4 dishes at once? Problem. Chinese food coming out quick, hot, with no regard for how you ordered it? That's a good sign.

Jesus fucking christ. Orange chicken is a sign of a good korean fried chicken joint in China.
The spare ribs would have been a better indicator of quality, it is the only meat Chinese people actually cook regularly that is a part of their heritage cuisine. And they fucking soaked them in red food dye. You know how I can tell? Because red braised pork is red from the addition of anise and dark soy sauce and lightly caramelized sugar and cinnamon. A complex blend of spices, sugar, and cooking sauce that, over the course of about an hour, turns a light reddish brown. Not fucking candy apple red.

For a shit tier mutt-Chinese joint it doesn't even look too bad, although the fucking manager could hire a dishwasher and just use regular ass plates. Jesus fucking Christ

 

[Kulee Baba]

even /ck/'s shitposts are far too high quality to be compared to this
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LMAO'd especially at Nuwave Oven Pro Plus Pulled Pork Sandwhich. It made me imagine that gigantic tool "Salt Bae" coming table side with those absurd wolverine claws.

 

[AnOminous]

You know how I can tell? Because red braised pork is red from the addition of anise and dark soy sauce and lightly caramelized sugar and cinnamon. A complex blend of spices, sugar, and cooking sauce that, over the course of about an hour, turns a light reddish brown. Not fucking candy apple red.

It's pretty standard for generic American Chinese restaurants doing char siu. I guess they figure they have to make it bright red because otherwise stupid Americans would be mad it wasn't red. I think the brownish appearance from star anise, a blend of dark and light soy, and sugar (or I use honey) is more natural. I generally do this for pork belly when I can get it.

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

It's pretty standard for generic American Chinese restaurants doing char siu. I guess they figure they have to make it bright red because otherwise stupid Americans would be mad it wasn't red. I think the brownish appearance from star anise, a blend of dark and light soy, and sugar (or I use honey) is more natural. I generally do this for pork belly when I can get it.

I've seen some recipes use a form of red fermented beancurd in their char siu marinade. That being said, even that doesnt even come REMOTELY close to the watermelon-candy-red you see. Yeah, it's closer to a dull brown-red.

And pork belly char siu is the bomb. Not that I mind leaner cuts either.

 

[AnOminous]

And pork belly char siu is the bomb. Not that I mind leaner cuts either.

I think I'm going to try pork shoulder next. It's easier to find and somewhat less fatty. If you routinely eat pork belly you'll swell up like Chairman Mao.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I've seen some recipes use a form of red fermented beancurd in their char siu marinade. That being said, even that doesnt even come REMOTELY close to the watermelon-candy-red you see. Yeah, it's closer to a dull brown-red.

It's like that bright red "sweet and sour" sauce some places use. It's just some commercially prepared bullshit full or corn syrup, vinegar and red food coloring. And I would bet the same could be said for the orange chicken they served which is, "the best way to know if they're good". No. It's more something they got from Sysco by the gallon.

And the use of some kind of Toban Djan in their marinade would go a long way in giving it some flavor. But as you said it's closer to a brick red afterwards. That shit he got was almost glowing it was so fluorescent.

I think I'm going to try pork shoulder next. It's easier to find and somewhat less fatty. If you routinely eat pork belly you'll swell up like Chairman Mao.

Pork shoulder is the best when it comes to a long, slow roast or smoke. Made some Cochinita pibil in banana leaves the other day and it was amazing.

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

It's like that bright red "sweet and sour" sauce some places use. It's just some commercially prepared bullshit full or corn syrup, vinegar and red food coloring.

Now yes, often it is, but (to be fair) at the same time I've seen some recipes that base sweet and sour sauce on ketchup, adding some vinegar and sugar to it. Might be blasphemous to traditional chinese, but at least it's better than red dye

 

[Cherry Dude]

This might sound queer, but does anyone else feel like it's "over" now? Like the real entertaining days of Jack are behind us? It's a similar feeling to the end of the Golden Age of Chris, honestly. Now it just feels sad. Like watching emergency services removing the bodies from a car wreck or something.

Jack is obviously on a permanent and irreversible decline. He might not die within the next year or so, but I wouldn't be shocked if he's no longer capable of making content within the next six months.

PS fuck the duck nigger, spineless faggot.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

This might sound queer, but does anyone else feel like it's "over" now? Like the real entertaining days of Jack are behind us? It's a similar feeling to the end of the Golden Age of Chris, honestly. Now it just feels sad. Like watching emergency services removing the bodies from a car wreck or something.

Jack is obviously on a permanent and irreversible decline. He might not die within the next year or so, but I wouldn't be shocked if he's no longer capable of making content within the next six months.

PS fuck the duck nigger, spineless faggot.

You're not wrong. His videos aren't even worth making fun of anymore. The cookbook was the most entertaining thing he's done since the last stroke.

 

[AnOminous]

You're not wrong. His videos aren't even worth making fun of anymore. The cookbook was the most entertaining thing he's done since the last stroke.

It's not comfy knowing even an asshole like Jack is probably going to be dead soon. He just isn't a bad enough person to find his death actually funny, even if he did it all to himself.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

This might sound queer, but does anyone else feel like it's "over" now? Like the real entertaining days of Jack are behind us? It's a similar feeling to the end of the Golden Age of Chris, honestly. Now it just feels sad. Like watching emergency services removing the bodies from a car wreck or something.

Jack is obviously on a permanent and irreversible decline. He might not die within the next year or so, but I wouldn't be shocked if he's no longer capable of making content within the next six months.

PS fuck the duck nigger, spineless faggot.

I'm holding out for a bit more material on the Prepper/Homesteader Jack front, but JOTG and CWJ are just going to limp along indefinitely until Fat croaks.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

It's not comfy knowing even an asshole like Jack is probably going to be dead soon. He just isn't a bad enough person to find his death actually funny, even if he did it all to himself.

It wouldn't be funny because there would be no more milk.

 

[beautiful person]

It's not comfy knowing even an asshole like Jack is probably going to be dead soon. He just isn't a bad enough person to find his death actually funny, even if he did it all to himself.

It would be kinda funny if he were able to come to the realization that he, in fact, did do all of it to himself. But he doesn't seem capable of that. It's just going to be "muh hard water" and "muh energy drinks" right to the grave.

 

[DontEatThat_2.0]

This might sound queer, but does anyone else feel like it's "over" now? Like the real entertaining days of Jack are behind us? It's a similar feeling to the end of the Golden Age of Chris, honestly.

The cookbook was probably the funniest thing Jack has done since his body started showdown mode. His videos are kind of pathetic to watch although I do find the humor in him just going on with his usual life as if nothing ever happened. Its just sad to know that we wont get his classic Jackass behavior that we have seen in the past.

 

[p1138]

Its just sad to know that we wont get his classic Jackass behavior that we have seen in the past.

I wouldn't be so sure about that. Fatty has already complained about cripple accessible shit, once Tammy gets their lives sorted out from the move she'll have more time to drive him around, and eventually just out of sheer quantity of videos we'll get Fatty bitching about some minimum wage employee at a chain restaurant not treating him like he's royalty.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Jack is obviously on a permanent and irreversible decline.

t. fedora-tipping hater

God is going to cure Jack any day, and you're going to eat lazy man's humble pie.... aaaannnnnyyyyy day now.