💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Falcon Sebben]

Jack Junior has confirmed that Jack had a stroke and a heart attack.

Wyświetl załącznik 4391560

"Healthy lifestyle"?

Yeah Jr. is either trolling teh intarwebs to "own the haturz" or he's as mushbrained as his father.

Elvis probably Elvised out and died on the throne because of his serious opioid habits. That causes your shit to clump up and turn into a boulder-like mass. Trying to squeeze something like that out rapidly turns into a massive effort, and if you have an aneurysm or something already, KABLOOEY, or you just stroke out or have a heart attack trying to force out this bowling ball.

Yeah this is the unofficial official reason behind it. The man was severely constipated due to his drug use. People used to say he'd go in and take a dump and walk out later having looked like he dropped 10 pounds. Which he probably did.

The eating healthy for the last year and a half thing is fucking hilarious. This is what he cooked immediately after starting his diet when he was still high on the idea of making a lifestyle change.

Each serving has a pound of undrained, greasy ground beef, a cup of sour cream, and a pound of cheese. He think is this is healthy. I literally can’t comprehend how someone can use a full five pound bag of shredded cheese in a recipe and think its healthy, but alas…

https://youtube.com/watch?v=7UZhD8AiZLE

The bell pepper makes it healthy! DUH!

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Hey Junior, Your Best Friend, Your Wife, and Your Dad. Your God is coming you Asshole.

 

[AnOminous]

17% to 41% of heart attacks cases occur during the nighttime hours of 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. and in relation to the bathroom, it has to do with straining. It's not exactly a stroke or aneurysm, as you've put it.

Stress can cause strokes and burst aneurysms too.

https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/brain-bleed-8-things-that-trigger-ruptured-aneurysms

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

New JOTG

 

[Rod Dangerous]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=68RobESiy4Q
New JOTG

Perhaps the final creation of Jack Scalfani.

Jack’s review of Indian food, summarized:

 

[Pig Cups]

Jack Junior has confirmed that Jack had a stroke and a heart attack.

Wyświetl załącznik 4391560

This all but confirms to me that Tammy was the one updating his FaceBook. There’s no way Jack would’ve been coherent that soon after the onset of his double-whammy of an emergency.

C’mon, y’all remember how much those posts didn’t sound like Jack…

https://youtube.com/watch?v=68RobESiy4Q
New JOTG

This has to be an auto-upload, right?

Who mentions their bf before their wife when it comes to health issues? Oh, right...

Three possibilities:

1.) Junior mentioned his bf first out of pure childishness. He may be married, but he’s really still a kid.

2.) Junior would’ve listed her first, but he was distracted mid-thought by visions of his barely legal bf’s smooth skin, tight ass, boyish face clad in peach fuzz, and wiry twink pecker roto-rooting out his balloon knot. He subconsciously listed him first because the lust he feels towards his friend overpowers any feelings towards his second-fiddle beard.

3.) @captkrisma is right:

I'll give Jr the benefit of the doubt and think he's listing the issues chronologically.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

This has to be an auto-upload, right?

If it was it probably would've posted yesterday evening. He dropped the video a day later and at an earlier time of day than he usually does which tells me he's probably just got around to editing it and it wasn't just the mushbrain choosing the wrong day for the post delay.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

If it was it probably would've posted yesterday evening. He dropped the video a day later and at an earlier time of day than he usually does which tells me he's probably just got around to editing it and it wasn't just the mushbrain choosing the wrong day for the post delay.

The video was uploaded on January 26 at 10:21am Central Time. That's just a few hours before the posts from Carolyn and Garrett about Jack's hospitalization. Wednesday at noon Central is Jack's usual time for premiering Jack on the Go videos.

 

[charlesdickens]

Jack ate a bone from the goat and it got lodged in his blood stream.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=68RobESiy4Q
New JOTG

Huh, guess jack finally did an Indian food review. People recommended it because Indian food is spicy and full of fat, stuff jack likes. Surprised he didn't get butter chicken, although the tikka masala can have a lot of butter and cream in it too.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

The video was uploaded on January 26 at 10:21am Central Time. That's just a few hours before the posts from Carolyn and Garrett about Jack's hospitalization. Wednesday at noon Central is Jack's usual time for premiering Jack on the Go videos.

Where do you see that? I only see that it was posted today.


edit: Also, from what I can tell, Jack on the go always posts on Tuesday or Friday. At least it has been recently.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Where do you see that? I only see that it was posted today.
Wyświetl załącznik 4398072

edit: Also, from what I can tell, Jack on the go always posts on Tuesday. At least it has been recently.

If you download the video using yt-dlp it will set the Created timestamp of the file to the upload time.

JOTG has always been Wednesday at noon CT (also previously Monday but he stopped doing these a few months ago). The main channel schedule is Tuesday and Friday at 5pm CT (but sometimes Jack forgets to set the upload time and it goes up at midnight)

 

[densedance]

"Yeah it's Good, it's Okay!" "They probably have more spices in that than I do have in my cupboard!"

Well Jack, you only use Gorlic Powder, Powdered Pepper & Salt.

 

[Jack of the Lantern II]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=68RobESiy4Q
New JOTG

Green Chili, Goodlettsville, TN
1 February 2023

Spoiler: Archive 720p

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Does Jack even know how to queue uploads?

Who mentions their bf before their wife when it comes to health issues? Oh, right...

I feel bad for Brianna, at least in terms of the brain issues. Brain tumors fuck you up real good, including the aforementioned seizures. Her quality of life is super crap for a woman in her early to mid twenties.

To be the fair, Jack the Wendigo seems to be chugging along still defying god, when even one of the strokes would've taken another obese man out. Maybe there is something to this "leaning keto" and "smart cheating", at least if you don't mind the vacuous slurring and you'll just need to find yourself a Tammy™.

Nah, the wendigo is waiting for Junior to fatten up enough to jump into him.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Does Jack even know how to queue uploads?

Yes, his videos appear at the top of the hour, sharp. The scheduling form is prominent in the YouTube video upload wizard to the point where even Jack can't miss it. He is, however, stupid enough to sometimes forget to set the time, as there have been videos that show up at midnight (the default time in the form)

 

[ZipDisk]

Holy shit, that freeway was like a freight-train, semi after semi.

Jack finally got bullied into Indian food, and it FUCKING KILLED HIM.

Sadly, like palpatine, he returned.

Of course he's shitty to Tammy.
Tammy has to mash up the fucking sauce.

Jack dips his spoon offscreen. Uality content.

Would be funny if properly prepared chicken was what finally did Jack in.

Everything is gud. Until it's not.

I expected Jack was chambering a parking lot bitchfit, and then he pusses out like a BITCH.

Just a straight gud.

I'm unsurprised "ethnic" food in Tennesee is ignored.

His mouth is still exploding, and shortly, his heart will.

 

[Pig Cups]

I’m still kind of amazed with these new developments. I expected a lone stroke to finish him off, or at least incapacitate him. Suffering both a heart attack and a stroke together is remarkable, and in its own way, poetic. Certainly fitting for a man who’d claim that Italian seasoning in a dish counts as a vegetable. God didn’t disappoint…

2 things:
-If one were to post snarky replies to his FaceBook statuses, do you think they’d get taken down at the usual speed? Have Tammy or Junior been forcibly enlisted to janny duty?
-Does anyone have that picture from awhile back with the JOTG logo placed over a responding ambulance? Seems fit for the occasion.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=68RobESiy4Q
New JOTG

More spices than he has in his entire cabinet at home.

Well yeah. When your spices tend to be dried garlic, salt, pepper and chili flakes as a Tammy repellent then you're not going to use the spices found in garam masala. But the only spices I'd be surprised if Mushbrain had in his collection are turmeric and cardamom. Everything else cumin, coriander, black pepper, cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg he should have.

And yeah, he's all his normal mushbrained self. "It's Gud" is the best he can muster.

 

[ZipDisk]

God damnit Pigcups, I know the recent developments have you spun, but DO NOT fucking touch the cow.

I used to lurk the livestreams and fucking loved that madness. Jack got assmad and stopped doing those. You fuck around with the facebook, and they'll close the tap.

Same time, fuck Flanders, god damned tease. Surprised as fuck the most reliable source we've got RN is JR.