💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Lou's Sentient Backfat]

Honestly him having another heart attack or stroke while trying to pinch one off, I could see. I remember years ago hearing some RN at a hospital say that people, especially old people die on the toilet all the time because theres a lot of physical stress. And I mean he doesnt have a decent diet so I doubt hes getting enough fiber.

Jack figures that all the grease he consumes will cause the stool to just slide right out.

 

[PunishedCanadian]

The exaggerated manner in which he eagerly bites into meat has led some to speculate that there is a malicious spirit in control of his body.

Realistically, Jack is a closeted homosexual who uses food as a substitute for inhaling cock 24/7.

Plus his tendency to enjoy raw meat.

 

[Dumcumpster]

he will probably die shitting.

Think we'll get pics?

Spoiler: Jack's final day reenactment

 

[GloriousRapeRabbit]

Shitting is a killer. I bet 80% of fatties die while taking a shit.
Die with dignity people....dont be fat.

 

[PunishedCanadian]

Shitting is a killer. I bet 80% of fatties die while taking a shit.
Die with dignity people....dont be fat.

Worse ways to go out tbh.

 

[Generic Retard]

Shitting is a killer. I bet 80% of fatties die while taking a shit.
Die with dignity people....dont be fat.

Lot's of people die shitting. They blow a blood vessel in their brain and just go.
Watched a police documentary recently and there is at least one unnoticed toilet death every other episode, mostly old people btw.

 

[Jesse Nicholas Radin]

I should cook. Maybe record myself just microwaving

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

(On another note, if the COPD diagnosis Garett was told about is for real and not just a misunderstanding that is some bad shit, that will do him in slow and nasty.)

The COPD thing was either his grandpa or partner's grandpa.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

According to SocialBlade, on a best case scenario, Jack on the Go makes ~200 dollarydoos a month, and Cooking With Jack brings in something in the vicinity of 2k/mo. 26-7k/year is nothing to sneeze at, especially at the low, low cost of a few weekly angyposts on social media.

IMO that's a pretty optimistic figure. I really doubt Jack is getting many high-CPM ads given his channel's niche (cooking isn't a terribly high-value niche, fast food reviews even less so), and that he likely has piss-poor engagement metrics which means high-CPM ads are less likely to run on his channel. There's also been speculation that Jack bots views for new uploads which is going to hurt his monetized view count. I'd be surprised if his YouTube checks exceed $1k/mo across all his channels.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

IMO that's a pretty optimistic figure. I really doubt Jack is getting many high-CPM ads given his channel's niche (cooking isn't a terribly high-value niche, fast food reviews even less so), and that he likely has piss-poor engagement metrics which means high-CPM ads are less likely to run on his channel. There's also been speculation that Jack bots views for new uploads which is going to hurt his monetized view count. I'd be surprised if his YouTube checks exceed $1k/mo across all his channels.

This is a faggot that doesn't get any engagement on his channel other than some retards and trolls. His views aren't high enough to get any kind of endorsement so he lies about it or he just promotes whatever is going on with him at the moment.

If he had more views he could be getting endorsements from Hello Fresh or one of those food delivery programs then every so often actually make one or the recipes. But because he'd fuck it up they'd remove it and never speak to him again about it. And I think that's why he did get it once, many years ago when he had two working arms. Never again.

This whole Youtube career is a larp. It's a way to keep him busy during the day while TamHam makes the money.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

Fat Faggot should have Tranny chauffeur him to the nearest Arby's when he's out of ICU. That way he can ram their *NEW* Garlic Ribeye Sandwich right down his fat throat, then review it:

It's gud guyz. It's really gud

 

[Tiresome]

It's gud guyz. It's really gud

I just expect (and hope) that Cooking with Jack and Jack on the Go come roaring back, intros and all, but immediately open onto Jack eagerly introducing his latest efforts just like:

 

[Jack of the Lantern II]

The usual 5:00 pm CST upload time for Jack's Tuesday video has come and gone. We may be living in the end times for Cooking with Jack.

 

[Super Hans v2]

According to SocialBlade, on a best case scenario, Jack on the Go makes ~200 dollarydoos a month, and Cooking With Jack brings in something in the vicinity of 2k/mo. 26-7k/year is nothing to sneeze at, especially at the low, low cost of a few weekly angyposts on social media.

To add to what @Spasticus Autisticus said above, you also have to account for how much Tammy spends to keep the channel going. With how much Jack wastes on making inedible, even to him, food and unneeded tech like the newest model MACKBOOK, this vanity venture is undoubtably in the hole.

 

[Red Mask]

Honestly, the money he makes is great for a supplemental income, BUT he has over 550k subs. So, it's less than should be. A common thing on YT, it seems.

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Fat Faggot should have Tranny chauffeur him to the nearest Arby's when he's out of ICU. That way he can ram their *NEW* Garlic Ribeye Sandwich right down his fat throat, then review it:

It's gud guyz. It's really gud

That sandwich? More like a SADwich. It looks like someone sneezed on it and I LOVE Arby's.

 

[RodgerDodger]

Honestly him having another heart attack or stroke while trying to pinch one off, I could see. I remember years ago hearing some RN at a hospital say that people, especially old people die on the toilet all the time because theres a lot of physical stress. And I mean he doesnt have a decent diet so I doubt hes getting enough fiber.

It's because one of the nerve bundles that controls your heart rate is located down there and may be stimulated by "bearing down and tightening ab muscles as if to take a dump.". It's one of the Vagal Maneuvers to slow your heart rate. Old people will often Vagal out on the toilet. Have to take a big dump, crash their blood pressure and pass out. When doing this the old person is 99.9% guaranteed to first climb to the highest possible toilet in the house. Which will be in the narrowest most confined space. The elderly fatass will of couse be blocking the door. Every fucking time.

 

[Jack of the Lantern II]

Jack Junior has confirmed that Jack had a stroke and a heart attack.

 

[AnOminous]

It's because one of the nerve bundles that controls your heart rate is located down there and may be stimulated by "bearing down and tightening ab muscles as if to take a dump.". It's one of the Vagal Maneuvers to slow your heart rate. Old people will often Vagal out on the toilet. Have to take a big dump, crash their blood pressure and pass out. When doing this the old person is 99.9% guaranteed to first climb to the highest possible toilet in the house. Which will be in the narrowest most confined space. The elderly fatass will of couse be blocking the door. Every fucking time.

Elvis probably Elvised out and died on the throne because of his serious opioid habits. That causes your shit to clump up and turn into a boulder-like mass. Trying to squeeze something like that out rapidly turns into a massive effort, and if you have an aneurysm or something already, KABLOOEY, or you just stroke out or have a heart attack trying to force out this bowling ball.

Jack Junior has confirmed that Jack had a stroke and a heart attack.

Lmao and the stupid faggot claims Fatty had a "healthy lifestyle" which has to be the stupidest fucking shit ever said in this thread, so let's just say I don't take that diddler's word on anything seriously.

 

[charlesdickens]

"despite his healthy lifestyle"

That's rich!

 

[Lenzperkins]

Jack Junior has confirmed that Jack had a stroke and a heart attack.

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Despite his healthy lifestyle? Scalfanis are fucking delusional.