So Phil hit the big 4-0. Midlife crisis age. The age that has a demarcation in most societies as the time to reflect upon your various life achievements: wealth; career; relationships; family; future well-being.
Regardless of all the platitudes and unhinged ramblings coming out of the pig’s mouth claiming his success and happiness, Phil is still in an incredibly precarious situation. A place that any man in his 40s would loathe to be in. To realize that the last 20 years of your life have culminated to becoming a sheltered, scared, and reluctant hermit relying on the goodwill of individual strangers to fund an unsustainable lifestyle of gluttony and avarice is an awful situation to be in.
Let’s dive in, shall we?
1. Wealth: Phil finnagled a bankruptcy filing via luck and deceit, the pig’s most consistent attributes. At the moment of his filing, a worldwide pandemic created never before-seen conditions and for the first time in its history, the bankruptcy court upheld all hearings remotely. On top of not having to show up physically for his bankruptcy, Phil obfuscated the majority of his expenses via Apple iTunes payments shrouded as necessary business expenses. Only difference is that money being claimed as necessary business expenses was not being spent on his business but his addiction. A pathetic gambling addiction of a mobile wrestling gacha game that has prevented him from obtaining any sort of wealth accumulation or to live a normal life or to plan for a normal future even after all of his debts were wiped from his record. This man’s addiction has him enthralled and his entire raison d’etre has become fixated on wrangling dollars from cucks and simps to fund an alcohol and gambling addiction. Even with all his debts wiped, Phil is still living paycheck-to-paycheck as the bank leaks reveale. At the age of 40, Phil has no wealth to speak of; no investments; no cash availability or flexibility; or any sort of financial freedom besides the equity into his own shitty house. Remarkable.
2. Career: turn on a DSP stream from 2016-2021 and compare the differences from then and now. What has changed? Besides a different font for the whoreboard and a new arbitrary number located in the “Tips Goal” area every year, absolutely-fucking-nothing. Phil’s business model has not changed in any manner or form: buy the newest game; play the newest game poorly; beg for money; profit. There is no end goal. There is no evolution. There is no expansion. There is no diversity. There is no inward reflection. Simply the unbridled and unfettered ability to beg incessantly and continuously for the remainder of his career until the begging doesn’t produce enough money to fund his vices where we will see drastic actions to retain the post-Vest Streak levels of income which, as steady as it has been for Phil, have become a serious point of stress and contention for the pig whenever his goals aren’t met. His unrealistic expectations that he will be coddled and funded by his army of simps for the rest of his life is Phil’s entire career at this point.
3. Relationships: a woman no one has seen since 2017 or 2018 who he often confuses with his mother, parents that are half a dozen states away from where he lives and whom he never visits, and a poor mutilated cat are the only remaining types of social interactions Phil has left on this planet. This man leaves his house less than 50 times a year. Phil’s ego has been completely shattered by two main events: the break-up with a girl he groomed that he never emotionally got over and his fall from grace as a “successful” YTer to becoming the unequivocal court jester of the internet. He hasn’t and will never recover from such emotional entanglements due to his inability to accept his mistakes and own up to his own failings as a person. Instead, Phil has entirely receded from the outside world and has fully dived into living his constructed online fantasy life of being a happily married, successful content creator that’s beloved by thousands of people across the world.
4. Family: as this point ties into the previous one, Phil has never been as isolated and lonely as he has been. You cannot have a healthy familial environment putting all of your eggs into one basket, that being of your wife becoming your best and only friend, your only confidant in matters of love and friendship, and your lifelong partner and friend where the only experiences he will ever consume will be with this same person for the rest of his life. This man had no honeymoon, no bachelor party, no best man at his wedding, hasn’t had a real vacation on over 7 years (the last one was with his ex that’s run away from him). The life that Phil has is the furthest thing away from a happy family life. It’s two shut-ins wasting their money on food delivery, alcohol, and online gacha games. This is a relationship of convenience with a woman who never seemed attracted to Phil and for a man with deeply closeted homosexual insecurities.
5. Future well-being: with no IRA, no investments, any sort of financial planning, no nest egg stashed away for a rainy day, Phil has no financial cushion for any upcoming emergencies which will happen, regardless as to how much one person shelters themselves away from the world. Given that Phil’s career is entirely reliant not on his channel growth which either has completely stagnated or is in a terminal, slow decline by however you want to look at it, his entire life is reliant on attracting low IQ or mentally ill losers to fund his superfluous and unsustainable lifestyle. It has worked to a certain extent but nothing guarantees the constant influx of insane whales to dedicate part of their own wealth to subsidize that of another stranger. Effectively, Phil has no future and cannot plan for anything given that his entire life has been built on a house of cards.
Looking back all these points which contradict all the bullshit phil claimed on his birthday, miserable is the first word that comes to my mind. The only thing this man can verifiably demonstrate at the age of 40 is that he’s become a honed and professional internet beggar. Arguably the most effective of his kind. That and his ability to survive like a cockroach on the internet are his biggest achievements.
Believable and unbelievable on many accounts, Phil remains as a testament that relatively good things happen to awful people all the time.
