🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[he who has thus come/gone]

Isn't May due sometime in the next month? What are the odds Ralph's misadventures in Portugal end up keeping him there past the birth of his child?

Keeping up with Ralph's time in Portugal is like reading a retarded, white trash version of Don Quixote.

 

[Xenomorph]

I hope he cant leave until they are satisfied in their case. LOL imagine the cops in Portugal detain him??

 

[MuuMuu Bunnylips]

My guess is the beating came first and the decision to rob came second. The taking of the items was most likely an afterthought.

"He's already laid out and leaking butter fat, let's see if he has anything valuable on him."

 

[Herpes Complex]

I think it is pretty much standard that if you are treated in hospital for injuries that were obviously inflicted by someone against you, doctors are legally obliged to contact the police.

And if there is a police investigation you will know how much he lied.

I would not be surprised if he picked a fight in some back ally brothel, and the bouncer beat him up on the way out.

Why the bouncer? He could have easily got a beatdown from the house mother for groping the goods without paying. What bothers me is the fact that he got to keep the phone and passport? Even the desperate know those are valuable. The cards have a short life cycle and the murse is worthless to a good mugger.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Here's something that hasn't been considered yet, Ralph is the stereotype of an ignorant American and he loves talking shit about people's family. People from Hispanic countries (or whatever Portugal is) take anything about their mothers incredibly seriously, even a "yo momma" joke to them is like going into the hood and screaming nigger at a feral pack of niggers listening to a boom box.

So my guess is Ralph got into a verbal shouting contest with someone and said something about their mother and that just set them off to the point they tried to cave his skull in.

People usually really dislike the fat stupid american sterotype as well, it's like those shitty asian television shows/movies whenever they portray a bad american it's a fat white man with a southern accent. gunt is a living embodiment of what non-americans hate, so him just acting like he acts normally in public would draw attention and anger people. I'd bet my life savings this happened because drunk gunt was mouthy for too long, the mugging was just the cherry on top for the person who wrecked him, they figured since they had to deal with this idiot they might as well get compensated for it.

 

[kaien]

I hope he cant leave until they are satisfied in their case. LOL imagine the cops in Portugal detain him??

I can't imagine they give a tinker's dam about one more clueless tourist getting rolled. Ralph's less than nobody over there. Patch him up, ship him out, be glad he's never coming back.

Now, if his snot's hot for COVID, then he gets an extra-long vacation. But we shall see.

 

[TurdFondler]

With how bad he was beat I think maybe they didn't just kill him because he's a foreign national. The cops would definitely look into it then. His phone and passport were probably taped under his gunt, that's why they didn't get stolen

 

[Retink]

People usually really dislike the fat stupid american sterotype as well, it's like those shitty asian television shows/movies whenever they portray a bad american it's a fat white man with a southern accent. gunt is a living embodiment of what non-americans hate, so him just acting like he acts normally in public would draw attention and anger people. I'd bet my life savings this happened because drunk gunt was mouthy for too long, the mugging was just the cherry on top for the person who wrecked him, they figured since they had to deal with this idiot they might as well get compensated for it.

There wasn't any mugging, it was just a literal "winner's purse" like in the UFC.

 

[Herpes Complex]

Please let it be he threw the murse at his "mugger" and ran into a crazy drunk bastard. It would stay consistent with the whole fucked up farce Gunter wanted to call a "documentary" but is now truly going to be infamous in the proper use of the word.

 

[burntwater]

From Twitter:

Ralph going for the cheapest hookers and gets his ass beat?

 

[Herpes Complex]

From Twitter:
Wyświetl załącznik 2927420

Ralph going for the cheapest hookers and gets his ass beat?

And he's checked every box on the "American Tourist" stereotype. It only took him four days. It must be a record.

 

[Drew Pickles 69]

"He's already laid out and leaking butter fat, let's see if he has anything valuable on him."

"Never should have come here!"

 

[Opticana]

Does Portugal have birthright citizenship? You never know what could happen if May gallops over there.

 

[Frostedtip]

The resemblance is uncanny.

 

[kaien]

Does Portugal have birthright citizenship? You never know what could happen if May gallops over there.

Yes, but a parent has to have lived there at least a year.

 

[Herpes Complex]

Does Portugal have birthright citizenship? You never know what could happen if May gallops over there.

I think it's illegal to take foaling horses overseas.

 

[Tommy's Mom]

WE LOVE OUR MOORS

OUR GUNT ENFORCEMENT

 

[waffle]

Is there some reason to think Meigh is lying about it? I mean she's a lying cunt but why

I'm just a retarded who missed her saying that.

 

[Tommy's Mom]

I wonder if there are any blurbs about this in the local news. This wouldn't be headline news in a city like Lisbon, but it might make page 8 or 9. Anyone know Portuguese? Also, how would we get our hands on a police report?

 

[Maude Snew]

Wyświetl załącznik 2927438

Yo that's racist, you are not chinese, unsquint your eyes.