You own an inconvenience store.

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

What kind of products do you sell?

 

[Timmy Jolsen]

Well, for starters, the impulse buy rack will be pressed up nice against the window, where the chocolate bars can really soak up the sun's natural goodness, unlocking the sweet's softest, most liquid of textures! Couldn't decide between chocolate or a drink? Now you don't have to!

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

Welcome to my stupid store. We sell:

Spoiler: Various Operating Systems on efficient media.

Spoiler: These two as a bundle

Spoiler: Fun toys

Spoiler: And a variety of other junk from our catalogue

 

[Rozzy]

Used sex toys, with sales assistant @SandyCat giving product demonstrations.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

I would sell

• Beta cassettes
• DAT tapes
• 3.5" floppy disks
• Black and white camera film
• Hubba Bubba and Big League Chew
• laxatives
• prune juice
• homemade granola
• fruitcake

actually sounds like a pretty good store to me. id be a customer.

 

[AnOminous]

Football bats.

 

[RSLUG30]

I'd sell the usual stuff you'd find at a convenience store, but -

• The AC would be set to a mildly discomforting temperature in the stuffiest air I can possibly manage.
• All prices are reduced by 2.87% exactly, we do not calculate that for you so I hope you've brought a calculator as we also don't give change without the threat of a lawsuit.
• Cashiers are specifically instructed to disappear for random periods during the day to buy me more smokes from the shop across town, which I chain smoke in the bathroom which only has a tiny extractor fan on half power for ventilation.
• The store is playing a barely recognisable torrented track with a bitrate just low enough that you can only just notice the quality loss. This is amplified by the speakers having suffered some mild water damage and them being hidden behind boxes of wares.
• You know those weird circular mirrors you see in corners of shops? We've got those for every corner and they are now concave so you look even weirder in them.
• There is a puddle in the middle of the candy isle. It has been there since opening day and when asked about it, staff are specifically instructed to grunt and say "i'unno". If someone dares slip on it, then I shall point out that there is a wet floor decal underneath the puddle.
• I have hired a schizophrenic man for security. You will comply with his demands. On Fridays he is off his meds.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

it's an apple juice store but it's all filled with my piss

i run a piss store