💬 Off-Topic Why hasn't Phil moved south yet? (poll)

[Xarpho]

A poll regarding the reason Phil hasn't moved south yet (from Florida to even SoCal). There's multiple choices, so here are the descriptors:

Too Hot, Would Burn Up in Leather Crap - Self-explanatory.

Fear of Encountering Real Latinos - Deep down, Phil probably knows he's as white as Trump, and would get laughed at/beat up/shot at if he started pulling his "Latinx" crap.

Perception of Not Being "Left" Enough - Self-explanatory, though for large cities this isn't the case, and most have wide LGBT communities.

Less Benefits Than What He Wants - Related to above, but specifically for purposes.

This is only for fun, of course, but I do wonder why going further south is beyond talk in Phil's world...

 

[Crisseh]

Voted Other: Because he's a fat lazy fuck.

 

[KatsuKitty]

Why would he when he's got a nice, warm storage unit to live in?

 

[Pocoyo]

Can't afford it.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Other: He's afraid KiwiFarms would follow him. Doesn't realise he's actually right.

 

[Hyperion]

Red states don't pay much in welfare, and Phil is too lazy to move anyway.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

Can't afford it.

This. Sure he can travel to a neighboring state, but him traveling to Texas, Louisiana, or Florida? That'd run his tugboat aground.

 

[tweaker the cat]

You realize he's already in California?

 

[Optimus Prime]

This. Sure he can travel to a neighboring state, but him traveling to Texas, Louisiana, or Florida? That'd run his tugboat aground.

He went back to Philly despite coming from California - that's practically the width of the entire US right there - so cost shouldn't be too much of a concern.

It might have to do with his constantly changing political ideologies. Seriously, dude claims to be anarchist or something? That's going to go over so well in the South.

 

[EI 903]

You realize he's already in California?

Pretty sure he means the LA/San Diego area, where he could be with more of his L@ti&x brethren.

 

[tweaker the cat]

Pretty sure he means the LA/San Diego area, where he could be with more of his L@ti&x brethren.

Berkeley/sf/Oakland, specifically.

 

[melty]

I voted 2 and 4 but he also wouldnt get to claim oppression for being hispanic if he went to mexico

 

[Tranhuviya]

Other: lynching.

 

[Adamska]

He's scared of not-white people, and he likes to parasitize the more liberal and loon filled cities. It's why I anticipate Austin and Boulder as future nesting grounds for Pigman Phil.

 

[SpessCaptain]

If he's trying to get his balls removed he should stay where he is for medical administrative reasons.

 

[AnOminous]

He would be killed by enraged vatos within minutes of arrival.

 

[VLAD]

I think he's idealized NoCal and the Pacific Northwest as bastions of True and Honest Leftism. He could leave them for some other stereotypically blue city, but only under great duress.

 

[2spooky]

Other: lynching.

Probably this. In order to get to Florida, you have to go through parts of the Deep South. Wouldn't survive 5 minutes before a hick with a shotgun showed up.

 

[Xarpho]

He's scared of not-white people, and he likes to parasitize the more liberal and loon filled cities. It's why I anticipate Austin and Boulder as future nesting grounds for Pigman Phil.

The home of Whole Foods and the political climate might be a paradise for Phil (plus the whole Keep Austin Weird thing), but check out the average temperature for late July. He's not acclimated to that sort of thing.

 

[VortekPMD]

Can you imagine Aqua Velva rolling his potatoed ass in the local Chicken and Waffles in Deep Red God Fearing Amurica?