Why don’t we farm humans? - A modest proposal

[George Lucas]

One thing that’s never really sat well with me is how we live in such a technologically advanced society and yet still have the scourges of hunger, homelessness, and disability. I think a lot of these problems could be solved by farming humans:

1. No more incels: we could breed plenty of fair women and handsome men for lonely people through selective breeding and culling

2. Culls can be used as food, no more hunger

3. We would also have a source of cheap labor without needing to engage in morally questionable practices like exploitation of cheap labor in third world countries.

4. Infinite source of replacement organs, limbs, skin grafts, etc. creating a greater quality of life for the less fortunate.

5. Barren women could have a family by selling off newborns to the highest bidders, this would also help stimulate the economy.

6. Wars can be fought using farmed soldiers instead of needing to use citizens.

Seems like a slam dunk. Sure there might be logistical challenges, but still very curious it hasn’t been looked into by a startup or something.

 

[Neverender]

Mr. Swift, this is the seventh lifetime in a row where you've satirically advocated eating ass.

 

[peachlover669]

i think they made a movie about this once, something about running with sharp objects or other

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

This is already a thing, it's called slavery.

 

[Irrational Bounty Hunter]

forgetting everything else, humans just take way too long to grow. we generally accept that humans reach maturity at 18, but even if you put them to work earlier than that the ROI is complete shit. a human with no individual intellectual capacity is a far worse asset than a dog or a well-trained primate or a specialized robot just because they take too long and cost too much money. you'd rather them be up their own ass about having "rights" and be plotting revolution on the plantation because without free will we're really just inefficient non-monkeys. the key is that you need to exploit free will and give people an incentive to misuse it (keeping it only so we can do human-specific shit like using language and following specific instructions from that language). with enough bread to eat and a good enough circus to watch, boom, you'll have your human farm, but i'm afraid you're late to the party. we're on the farm. moooooooooooo motherfucker!!!

 

[Meat Target]

I've said it before, we should just round up deathfats and make them generate electricity by making them ride an exercise bike or an elliptical. It'd be good for them, and they wouldn't even necessarily have to go full-throttle all the time. Even a brisk walk will do.

Anything to repay society for all the resources spent to keep their fat worthless asses alive.

Culls can be used as food, no more hunger

This idea falls flat once people stsrt developing prions and Wendigo Psychosis.

 

[WelfareNiggerQueen]

So far it's led to infinite niggers and pajeets

 

[xXWild_DripXx]

Would this work like Bruno matteis Rape factory

 

[MadStan]

We went from a billion to 8 billion in 2 centuries. I’d say we’ve been farmed.

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

We farm lolcows here on the Kiwifarms not regular humans, these pastoral lands are too high quality and must require the best specimens to grace these forums to be milked.

 

[gernig]

All of our problems could be solved if we glassed the entire Global South and turned their bodies into pepperoni

 

[Tate McRae]

What makes you think people haven't been getting cannibalized this entire time? Also, organ donation isn't really a thing.

 

[The Last Stand]

I think a lot of these problems could be solved by farming humans:

Would you want to be the first volunteer for that idea?

 

[Lieutenant Rasczak]

All of our problems could be solved if we glassed the entire Global South and turned their bodies into pepperoni

Rick could be in this thread with us at this very moment.

 

[OutInTheRain]

We farm humans for cheap labour. We feed the third world and in return they give us warehouse workers and poop covered McDonald's workers.

 

[Jewish Fantasy Race]

There should be a clause for getting gastric bypass that if you eat your way out of it, you get repurposed into cooking oil, no second chances.

 

[AbyssGazer]

There's a farm already, it's called India.

What we need is eugenics.

 

[SOLDIER OF WALES]

We farm lolcows here on the Kiwifarms not regular humans, these pastoral lands are too high quality and must require the best specimens to grace these forums to be milked.

We're like the Wagyu of human farming, would you say?

 

[Male Idiot]

Sounds like a good idea on paper but this is exactly what lead to the US's monkey troubles.

Turns out, the cotton wasn't worth it.

 

[Thiletonomics]

China is already doing just that with their expansions to their massive Organ Harvesting trade:

And not even children maybe safe from becoming future Organ Harvesting mules in the future when they grow up.