Why am I not getting a gf?

[The News Crews]

I’ve been posting GF application flyers in town for months now, but the only calls I’ve received are to call me a faggot. I’ve started taking a more direct approach and start handing women I deem worthy my boyfriend cards (business cards but for boyfriends) but they just stare at me and walk away. Maybe they can’t read and are just too embarrassed.

 

[Laburnum]

You amateur, you should have made an attraction sign and paraded yourself around the local strip mall.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

Dip business cards in chloroform

 

[MadStan]

Prove it. Post the business card. You ain't got the balls.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Walk up to a girl, whip out your cock and say “Hey look here, let’s go back to my place and have some fun”

 

[Space_Dandy]

Say you are a member of Kiwi Farms, that always impresses.

 

[Boyfriend Free Girl]

Buy a plain white sports bra and write 'want woman' on it with Sharpie. That requires going outside, of course.

 

[We Are The Witches]

Prove it. Post the business card. You ain't got the balls.

He does have a card, I saw one on the floor:

 

[The News Crews]

He does have a card, I saw one on the floor:

Wyświetl załącznik 7185430

Wtf how did you unmask me

 

[parsnip]

There's posters from a guy looking for a girlfriend up around where I live. I assumed it was a serial killer who's not great at his hobby