What Would You Say to Mike Janke If You Met Him? - Obligatory what-if thread.

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Doctor Professor Timon

Doctor Professor Timon

Horror Cow Professor
kiwifarms.net
Dołączono
13 Lut 2015
I'll start (we all know he's watching).

"Dude, you're not too old, yet. Don't die on this hill. Cut your MK Ultra losses, disown Bella, and try again with another kid. You might get an actual high-functioning psychopath this time."
 
Necromancy may be legal in Cyrodiil, but few will openly admit to practicing it now that the Mage's Guild has banned it.

in all seriousness, nothing. maybe about all of the animal cruelty stuff but that's about it. there's so much stuff you can pretend to ignore but when there are multiple people who were there and witnessed it, it's the same as saying 2+2=5
 
I want to ask him about this "Native American pornography" that he allegedly subjected his spawn to. Did he dust off the trusty ol' Atari 2600 when she was just a little spore and make her play Custer's Revenge all day or some shit?
 
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God take the wheel
 
Sometimes your children grow up to be bad people, and there's not much you can do. Bella's hurt a lot of people and done some unkind things, but it isn't your place to dole out judgment, control information, or try to change Bella at this point. You did what you did in the time you had control. Establish boundaries with her for maintaining a relationship and for her getting well, and if she continues to try to manipulate you instead of letting you help her, walk away. I don't judge you for your mistakes. You're a deeply hurt person, just like many of the people in this story. I hope you have people in your life to talk to and guide you who have your best interests at heart.
 
I’d tell him that SEAL is for people who aren’t good enough to be Rangers, and I’d do so with a megaphone surrounded by three feet of concrete on all sides.
 
What the hell can you say to a glownigger that spawned a sociopath?
 
Your resumé says Chad but given your output you would have been better off Virgin.
 
What the fuck did you do? This behaviour is not only nature it also needs nurture. So what the fuck did you do?
 
Bella being a shit person is one thing. Sometimes, it just happens and it's no bearing on the parents.

Where he is to blame is being a superduperultra glowwwie fag who covered up for her - who spaffed money at TTU to get them to drop all disciplinary charges against her (Yeah Mike, we all know, despite your efforts).

A weak and craven Father, and by extension a weak and craven man, will ensure his child never faces consequences for their actions, no matter how shitty. Ergo, Mike is a weak and craven man and needs to troon out and remove his balls or get a vas or something, but either way, keep his shitty parenting results out the gene pool.
 
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
 
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