Containment What If?

[José Mourinho]

They might break up in weeks.

 

[Marvin]

Nah, Chris doesn't like Saw or similar movies because he's trying to seem like an adult or anything like that. Like, normally, Chris has his own handful of goals and he works to pursue them. That's it. And they're just shit like, a potential girlfriend or getting video games or finding places to enjoy his childish nerd hobbies.

Chris doesn't care about looking like an adult.

 

[MysticMisty]

Didn't he post about watching "Cannibal Holocaust" once, and he thought the rape scene was actually just people having super fun sexy time?

He also thought the scene where some people kill and eat an animal (a turtle?) was just "Hollywood magic". But yeah, Jackie totally had to explain to Chris that the fun and playful sex was rape.

 

[Blue Max]

There might well be that odd mixture of pity, sympathy and resolve in Anna's heart that leads her to try the same thing as others have with prison inmates--try to make Chris her man by making a man out of him. It's extremely unlikely--but I think most women would have given Chris a HARD NO a long time ago for any serious shot. Anna, though, has not made that hard shot, and I think it's royal-flush level possible (1 in 600 000) that Anna might try this.

Chris' expectation is China, and China quickly. Anna's got to deliver, or the whole game is over. And here's how everything five deviations within normal ends:

Chris: "I want to have sex with you"
Anna: "F*** You!" / "No way" / "I don't want to" / "Only if you agree to [condition X], (where Condition X is a difficult task that Chris won't do even if China is legitimately the reward).

So Anna basically has to put out within three dates or the relationship is basically on the same course as every other troll date. It's the conventional answer, so let's explore the outcome.
--Chris will be left very clear that there will be no China forthcoming.
--He will conclude that Anna is NOT his sweetheart. He might knuckle and bend more than he says, but he will hit a IDestroyedYourDignity.Jpg well before Anna changes his mind about the above.
--Anna will break off contact and never want to be his sweetheart. She might fully join the CWCki, she might seriously publish her story, but there is no more white knighting.
--For his side, Chris loses one more contact in his shrinking world. If breaking out is what he needs to do, he is going further in reverse.

Or Anna can agree to Chris' demand.

It won't be hard for Anna to manipulate the hell out of Chris via sex. Many high functioning neurotypicals have wound up in that situation, and Chris has no chance. Chris was willing to drive to Ohio for Julay, he'd probably do all this and more for Anna. As much as Chris resists changing to Anna's demands, he has nothing else. Anna is in the drivers seat, quite able to break Chris and Barb up and might even make him a full participant in releasing a biography. Anna is dealing with a desperate manchild who faces the real prospect of never having unpaid sex again.

I don't know how the relationship will end, but Anna will have complete control. Chris will eventually agree to her every demand, and be the househusband he wanted. It might make him happy, it might make him resent his foolish desires, but it will fundamentally change him.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

um... how bout "Pooh's Heffalump Movie"? Does that count as extreme cinema? (I haven't seen the movies on Lord Custos' list)

Chris would probably love it because of the nice colors and playful characters and lovely feelings and everything, with the exception of the absence of sex. Coming to think of it, he'd be right, what's missing in the 100 Acre Wood is PORN STARS methinks Why not add a cartoon version of Silvia Saint to the plushie gang? She could act as sort of a mentor, helping the little animals with problems through insightful and wholesome advice!

 

[LordCustos3]

Didn't he post about watching "Cannibal Holocaust" once, and he thought the rape scene was actually just people having super fun sexy time?

He also thought the scene where some people kill and eat an animal (a turtle?) was just "Hollywood magic". But yeah, Jackie totally had to explain to Chris that the fun and playful sex was rape.

Brrrr.

Apparently, he also saw Pink Flamingos.

I wonder if ever sussed that Divine is a dude...

 

[Lefty]

I don't see Chris being smart enough, or empathetic enough to grasp the overall message or even the brutality of most of these movies. I think he'd actually get turned on by human centipede. His reaction to Eraserhead would either be the most entertaining or boring thing ever. He's either gonna turn it off shortly after it starts, draw a completely incorrect but fascinating conclusion from it or just lose his mind completely.

 

[soIregistered]

Chris saw Pink Flamingos? Doesn't the house in that look like The Hoard? Never saw it, but heard of it.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Apparently, he also saw Pink Flamingos.

I wonder if ever sussed that Divine is a dude...

Or worse, an openly gay man.

Chris saw Pink Flamingos? Doesn't the house in that look like The Hoard? Never saw it, but heard of it.

The home in Pink Flamingos is a trashy mobile home, but they keep it tidy. What's 14 Branchland's excuse?

 

[LordCustos3]

I don't see Chris being smart enough, or empathetic enough to grasp the overall message or even the brutality of most of these movies. I think he'd actually get turned on by human centipede. His reaction to Eraserhead would either be the most entertaining or boring thing ever. He's either gonna turn it off shortly after it starts, draw a completely incorrect but fascinating conclusion from it or just lose his mind completely.

Well -- nobody (including David Lynch) -- can look at Eraserhead and "get" what that movie is about. I suspect it is supposed to break your brain. Same is true for Begotten, and maybe Gummo.
Movies that are fucked up for the sake of fuckedupness.

Question is -- and this is the real thrust of this thread -- what completely incorrect but fascinating conclusion would he come to regarding any of the films listed?

 

[Some JERK]

Even supposing that Anna would go into full-asspat mode and hook up with Chris, Chris would screw it up almost immediately. Love doesn't just mean that someone loves you. It means that you also must love them. Chris isn't capable of loving anyone. He proves this with every self-centered passive-agressive whine for attention that he makes. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. Nothing he's ever done is for anyone's benefit but his own. Nothing.

Chris just wants a 'fuck-mommy', as it's been put, (excellent term, BTW.) who will both pleasure and care for him without anything in return, as if the sheer joy of fucking and mothering Chris should be rewarding enough. It's laughably delusional.

 

[LordCustos3]

And why is the flag of Finland doing in that puddle of curry?

It's the flag of Norway, actually.

Ah. I stand corrected. Mea Culpa.

Maybe it's curried lutefisk?

Is---is that a thing?
Please say no.

Okay, people. I can't look away.
What the fuck is in those bowls?
Every time I look at that bowls in that photo (and I can't look away) the identity of what is in those bowls eludes me.
Is it some kind of Tofu Ice cream? Tripe Brittle? Octopus Chutney with Apricot Glaze? Sweet and Sour Suede Loafer Scraps?

WHAT IS IT!?

 

[Night Terror]

He wouldn't be able to put up with something like Irreversible. The first part would hurt his ears.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

The only gym Chris has ever been to were the ones from Pokemon.

He'd get some strange looks asking for the "gym leader", and he'd when he seen the vending machines don't have Burn Heal.

 

[PacSol]

They look like bowls of gyuudon. The flag (of any nation, really, most often of Japan or bearing the mascot and logo of the restaurant in question) typically tops kids' meals.

There are weirdos in every country, I suppose. After all, not all Americans are like Chris.

 

[Qqqqq]

Well -- nobody (including David Lynch) -- can look at Eraserhead and "get" what that movie is about. I suspect it is supposed to break your brain. Same is true for Begotten, and maybe Gummo.
Movies that are fucked up for the sake of fuckedupness.

Eraserhead is a fever nightmare about sex and the consquences of it from the male perspective. Gummo opens and closes with god smiting a shitty place with all the slices of life inbetween asking you if it was a good thing or not it was destroyed. I don't know about Begotten, movies suck I hate them.

 

[exball]

They look like bowls of gyuudon. The flag (of any nation, really, most often of Japan or bearing the mascot and logo of the restaurant in question) typically tops kids' meals.

I wondered why he had a juice box.

The only gym Chris has ever been to were the ones from Pokemon.

He'd get some strange looks asking for the "gym leader", and he'd when he seen the vending machines don't have Burn Heal.

OH BOY! SLAM ATTACK Y'ALL!

He'd have a new mommy for a few days, but he'd get no china, because Anna's more into china than Chris is.

Well Chris seems to desire a china of his own.

 

[Picklepower]

She would be marrying an 8 year old, with the body of a 45 year old homeless woman.

 

[LordCustos3]

Well -- nobody (including David Lynch) -- can look at Eraserhead and "get" what that movie is about. I suspect it is supposed to break your brain. Same is true for Begotten, and maybe Gummo.
Movies that are fucked up for the sake of fuckedupness.

Maybe I'm being too harsh. Lynch probably did have a plan, he will still green back then and his art was still a bit opaque.

Eraserhead is a fever nightmare about sex and the consquences of it from the male perspective.

Welp....considering he has no grasp of what the 'male perspective' is, I doubt he'd grasp it.

Gummo opens and closes with god smiting a shitty place with all the slices of life inbetween asking you if it was a good thing or not it was destroyed.

Hmmmn. Makes me wonder if a disgruntled Chris'tard -- being the defacto God of the CWCville universe -- ritualistically destroyed CWCville in his imagination, now that he can't get any satisfaction from it anymore; its toontown landscape being tainted with troll-created dopplegangers like Asperchu, Moon Pals, et al.

I don't know about Begotten, movies suck I hate them.

Begotten is Eraserhead for Goths and Emos.
Ever since God himself began trolling Da Chris'tard, I'd think he cheer and clap to see God committing suicide onscreen.

 

[Dreamatorium]

Kinda doubt it would happen in the first place. I have a feeling that Anna's superficial sympathy and coddling of Chris is just that - superficial. Just an act she puts on although this is rather ambiguous.

Still, if it did somehow happen I don't think she'd ever put out for him. I don't know what to say besides that, honestly. Anna's a stunningly mediocre person in every aspect and Chris is a baby. They would have no tangible relationship.