Containment What If?

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What if Chris appeared on a roast session on Comedy Central?
 
Clyde Cash would be the Roastmaster.
Barb would get up and say, "You know, son? I always knew you wouldn't amount to shit. I just didn't know you would smell like it while doing it".
They would dig up Bob's corpse, re-animate it and let him go on a rant stating "Now, ya see, this faggot over here had to go and ruin my game. I was getting mad tail in the 80's and this little retard had to come along and fuck it up".
Jack Thaddeus would give Chris a lap dance.
Video would be shown of a drunk Chris digging up patti.
Sonichu would come up on stage with blue arms and ask Chris why he couldn't have drawn him to not look like a mutant freak that the humane society would destroy.
Chris would get up, shit his pants and do nothing.
The crowd would chant JULLLLLLLLLLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
And Hellblazer would come up on stage and kick everyone out.
 
i am blessed/plagued by lulzy 'what-if' hypotheticals that strike without warning & often time when i am completely focused on something else. these arent exclusive to cwc but i figured i'll start posting some of those as they come along or i remember

his juggalo vid once got me thinking how much i wish he wouldve tried out some different genre-based gimmicks to look cool or get china. Rastafarian is a personal favorite fantasy-chris of mine.

last night 'what if chris got super into competitive rollerblading' made me laugh hard for a sec
 
What if Chris' dad was James E. Cornette and the Midnight Express would come over to the house once a week to give him proper discipline? What would he look like? Would they make him juice hardway?
 
Maybe they did. Maybe Chris has been trolling us all this entire time.
 
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