Containment What If?

[LM 697]

Re: What if OPL was trolled by SomethingAwful instead of 4ch

Something awful would have happened to Chris.

 

[Aiko Heiwa]

There would be a lot of SJW on tumblr telling people to "STOP MAKING FUN OF THAT POOR MAN YOU NON-AUTISTIC HETERO CIS SCUM!"

 

[Henry Bemis]

He wouldn't be nearly as perversely fascinating. Half the fun of following him from 2007 to today was watching his little Crayola bubble of a world deflate. If you started following him today, in 2013, not only do you see little/no output from him, but you completely skip over his "shlub" years and go straight into "unendearing creep."

 

[thiaf]

...this would imply that Barb gave birth to her after she was 40

That being said, the sister probably would've grown up and left the home as fast as Cole did and would probably never come in contact with them again.

 

[CatParty]

He wouldn't be nearly as perversely fascinating. Half the fun of following him from 2007 to today was watching his little Crayola bubble of a world deflate. If you started following him today, in 2013, not only do you see little/no output from him, but you completely skip over his "shlub" years and go straight into "unendearing creep."

But suppose the age was the same and the timeline just shifted to current days (his age when we was found but 2013). How would the changed internet world effect that crayons bubble? Would there be more intricate large scale trolling or would there be more white knighting?

 

[Henry Bemis]

He wouldn't be nearly as perversely fascinating. Half the fun of following him from 2007 to today was watching his little Crayola bubble of a world deflate. If you started following him today, in 2013, not only do you see little/no output from him, but you completely skip over his "shlub" years and go straight into "unendearing creep."

But suppose the age was the same and the timeline just shifted to current days (his age when we was found but 2013). How would the changed internet world effect that crayons bubble? Would there be more intricate large scale trolling or would there be more white knighting?

Got it.

In the case of trolling, nothing much would change. In the case of white-knighting, however, in the wake of society's apparent need to fight cyberbullying, there'd be a lot more of it, definitely from the Tumblr SJ crowd. (The media at large would still likely stay out of it, though.)

 

[cypocryphy]

What if Chris was a greenskeeper at a golf course and had to kill a gopher?

 

[Great Unclean Chris]

What if Chris won the lotto (or got a shit ton of cash)?

What do you think he would do with it all? Would he continue to buy his usual shit, but on much bigger scale? Buy Something really fucking expensive that he will never use? Lose it? Get murdered by some very angry trolls? Get a sex change? Buy a boyfriend-free asian sex slave? Buy a huge amount of property and make CWC-ville a reality?

What do you guys think would happen?

 

[Bridechu]

Re: What if Chris won the lottery?

Some enterprising video game design student would accept a meager down payment of $5 mil to make Sonicu: The Honest and True Game. He'd then re-skin Pokemon Yellow or some shit and spend the rest on coke and whores. Chris would be absolutely ecstatic with the result and spend the rest of the money advertising the Sonichu brand before Nintendo and/or Sega slapped him with a C&D, at which point he would have zero dollars left to sic Rob Bell and/or Judge Judy on them.

 

[Hyperion]

Re: What if Chris won the lottery?

Chris would hire his dream date (Terry Crews) for a night of passion and hanky panky.

 

[spaps]

It'd still be better than Terminator Salvation.

 

[cubesandcubes]

Re: What if OPL was trolled by SomethingAwful instead of 4ch

Something awful would have happened to Chris.

There would have been a scene in Sonichu #10 in which Chris and Ewe Boll would have donned boxing gloves and knocked out Lowtax.

 

[PyonPyon]

I'd feel terrible for his servant if he happened to summon a female hero. It gives me chills just imagining what Chris would waste his command seals on then...

 

[AssistantWeasel]

How do you think Chris would react if he came across a family of some slender white woman that fits within his standards, a dog that closely resembles Patti and of the same name, plus a young girl named Crystal... but also the husband of this woman?

 

[Stratochu]

Call the husband a Jew, a DANG DIRTY TROLL or both (depending on his last name), run him over with the Cadillac until he is dead, get shot dead by a police officer when he pulls out the Megatron pistol, coroner's office is infested with bedbugs, head lice and body lice, Chris-chan's body leaks shit constantly

 

[CatParty]

what if chris decided to continue his education beyond the associates degree he gained in community college as most people do? would it have helped him in the long run to have lived in dorms knowing he never spent a prolonged period of time away from his parents and home? would he have benefited from the "trial by fire" where he is forced to socialize with a roommate? would he end up as some autistic manchild vanwilder with an indefinite graduation date since he love it so much?

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

what if chris decided to continue his education beyond the associates degree he gained in community college as most people do? would it have helped him in the long run to have lived in dorms knowing he never spent a prolonged period of time away from his parents and home? would he have benefited from the "trial by fire" where he is forced to socialize with a roommate? would he end up as some autistic manchild vanwilder with an indefinite graduation date since he love it so much?

It would have been a disaster, pure and simple. He wouldn't have gone to class, he would have freaked out at having a roommate (not the kind of thing you can just throw on a coddled autistic). He'd flunk out in one semester, if he wasn't expelled for MLW-type incidents.

I would, however, love to see Chris go to an ultra-liberal college full of feminism advocates. They'd probably start trying to gently explain to the mentally-challenged male oppressor that their lives WEREN'T intended to provide him with money, sex, and a daughter for which he'd assume no real responsibility. Then Chris would tell them they were wrong, and God Himself said so, and one of them had to provide him with sexytimes because he was lonely. And if they didn't understand, he'd show them some porn to explain what he meant, because clearly they didn't know anything about sex.

Damn, thanks... that was fun!

 

[AssistantWeasel]

I have cats, a grumpy rottweiler and a mongrel that look an awful lot like Patti did. I wonder what he'd do with these...

Meanwhile, avoid him like the plague, hide all medicines/knives/money/other such, make him get a job to pay his side of the rent, and make him clean up after himself.

Call the husband a Jew, a DANG DIRTY TROLL or both (depending on his last name), run him over with the Cadillac until he is dead, get shot dead by a police officer when he pulls out the Megatron pistol, coroner's office is infested with bedbugs, head lice and body lice, Our Pet Lolcow's body leaks shit constantly

Wat

 

[Great Unclean Chris]

Though I highly doubt he would be, because of the lack of pretty colors and other little kid shit , but if he was he'd probably be a DOW fan and he would probably be a SPESS MAHREEN fanboy or a Slaanesh fanboy like every other typical 13-y/o 40k fantard (though he has more in common with Nurgle for obvious reasons and therefore would probably hate Nurgle).

I doubt he would buy the models but if he did, he would be way to lazy to assemble em or do it really badly. I doubt he would be into Fantasy also.

Anyways what do you guys think?

 

[OR 345]

You ever see his custom MLP toys? It'd be like that, but with miniatures.
He'd use a comically oversized brush and wouldn't prime first. Would use cheap school glue to assemble them (then, when that fails, sloppily fix it with super glue). If he screwed up, he'd just paint over it. Probably wouldn't even bother with the base...