Containment What If?

[Batman]

Assuming he didn't break the pole, he'd get exhausted very quickly. Also you'd get people who felt so sorry for the pole that they'd start a 'Pole Rights Group' just to keep Chris off it.

 

[Carlson]

New York's a big, diverse, metropolitan city. Chris is a racist, sexist, homophobe from small town Virginia. I predict he'd eventually get his ass beat or worse.

In NYC, you're pretty much surrounded on all sides by non-whites, homosexuals, and transsexuals no matter where you stand in the city. I mean, the whole thing would be a sensory overload for him. But imagine him trying to wander through Chinatown.

Me? I love walking around there, especially at night. Chris would probably panic and get the shit literally kicked out of him.

 

[Sovandie]

He'd soon get horribly lost, especially if he took public transport - getting anywhere on an unfamiliar bus route is always tricky unless your destination is the last stop on the line. I doubt he'd have the street-smarts or income to book himself a motel, so he'd end up walking, driving, or hanging around in a McDonalds/7-11 all night then trying to get home.

 

[Ryan Rash]

He'd end up lost on the streets, being reduced to sucking cock for money to buy Q-sands to stave off starvation.

The industry for gentlemen's clubs would crash like a meteor in a Morgan Freeman movie.

 

[Andrew Noel Schaefer]

Assuming he didn't break the pole, he'd get exhausted very quickly. Also you'd get people who felt so sorry for the pole that they'd start a 'Pole Rights Group' just to keep Chris off it.

Pole Justice Warriors.

 

[Sovandie]

In a roundabout way, yes.
If it transpired that I was seeking disabled employees (because of being offered wage subsidies from an employment agency or whatever) - I'd pick Chris over someone with a "worse" disability. Realistically, dealing with Chris' foolishness would be easier than accommodating someone with a severe physical or mental impediment. Stick him on night-fill or cleaning duty and have him shadow a competent, understanding (and patient) employee who can keep him in line. Done.

 

[Some JERK]

If my business was about to go under I'd hire him to make coffee.

 

[CatParty]

No one would notice him while he shits himself and does nothing. He's just another babbling smelly crossdresser that us New Yorkers deal with every day.

Also
viewtopic.php?f=11&t=825&p=26759


Also don't we have just have one thread for "what if Chris went to _____"
maybe we should since that's two in a day that fall under the same category that OP has pondered.

 

[Pinhead]

He'd be in a New York State of Confusion.

I was legitimately surprised that Dirty Crapped Pole wasn't the first reply.

 

[cypocryphy]

It's too loud for him.

 

[Pinhead]

Aside from my confusion at the sheer amount of what ifs not being posted in the what if section, I can imagine it'd be like my attempts to run away from home as a 4 year old.

Stuff as many clothes as I can into my alphabet covered Lunchbox, forget to pack food, go to the park, get cold, go home, hide under my bed until the bad situation passes.

 

[NegaCWC]

But really, where would he go?

Possible destinations:

1) Anna's place, I think it's either in Utah or Idaho.
2) New York, to visit Cole Smithey.
3) Kentucky, to extract revenge on Megan.

 

[Coldgrip]

But really, where would he go?

Possible destinations:

1) Anna's place, I think it's either in Utah or Idaho.
2) New York, to visit Coleslaw Smithey.
3) Kentucky, to extract revenge on Megan.

4)Any fast food place he wasn't banned from and loiter there until it gets dark and he has to go back home.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Chris would run away until he got hungry or the power on his vidya ran out. Then he'd go home.

 

[Mourning Dove]

Chris and his would turn it into New York Shitty.

 

[A-Stump]

He'd play a lot of craps

In his trousers

Raped by a dirty hobo

 

[WiseOldBadger]

It would like a little kid "running away from home." He'd pack a backpack filled with q-sands, PSN, Some pokemon cards and some soda/candy, and he'd walk for maybe less than a mile, before returning home. Barb would never change the locks on him.

Im sure she'd call the police if he was gone 10 minutes longer than expected...

 

[Mourning Dove]

Also lol at the thought of Chris running.

 

[WiseOldBadger]

Also lol at the thought of Chris running.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJn_UE3kTrM

 

[NegaCWC]

But really, where would he go?

Possible destinations:

1) Anna's place, I think it's either in Utah or Idaho.
2) New York, to visit Coleslaw Smithey.
3) Kentucky, to extract revenge on Megan.

4)Any fast food place he wasn't banned from and loiter there until it gets dark and he has to go back home.

A couple of more ideas:

5) Manchester High School and/or the apartment in which he lived prior to returning to Ruckersville. So what if there's another family living there!
6) He would get a small boat and sail to whichever better place the sea will take him. Said attempt would be inspired by a TV series like Gilligan's Island (Bender did it too on Futurama).
7) He would find out that there's actually a South Park in Colorado and decide that living there would be better of for him. Same thing could happen if OPL knows/will know that there are actual Springfields.