Containment What If?

[Silver]

I'm honestly surprised we haven't heard more complaining from him about college. I feel like he would have whined about the (nonexistent) workload more.

 

[Mondo Zappa]

So, as we can all gather Chris doesn't have the best media comprehension skills. He's gone on record as interpreting a horrific rape scene in Cannibal Holocaust as a fun, sexy, lakeside party. With that in mind, what would it be like if Chris read through classic novels and made facebook posts about them? Would he pick up on the subtle or multifaceted messages? Would he take it all at face value? Would it be hilarious?

"Hmm, Yeah. I very liked Animal Farm. It was Funny that the Animals all talked like People and made their own Society. I DID NOT, HOWEVER enjoy the Pigs acting like DIRTY DANG TROLLS and being Mean to The Animals and Banning them from the Farm like Michael Snyder did to Me by banning me from the PLace in unjusting Greater than five Years ago!"

 

[exball]

It would be shitty and gay.

 

[Arkangel]

Chris just isn't a reader. Adult books, especially novels, just aren't stimulating enough for him. If he tried picking up something like Dostoyevsky or Shakespeare, he'd probably put it down out of sheer boredom or just difficulty in comprehension.

 

[José Mourinho]

I feel like this is as close to what he would legitimately want his epitaph to say.

What trolls would do to his tombstone

http://i.imgur.com/QpIoRWm.jpg

Or this.

viewtopic.php?f=19&t=1888

He would complain about 1984 not having a good ending, like Moleman9000, except that he also compare the book to his life.

 

[Picklechu]

and then gone on to UVA for a 4yr degree?

It's been said already, but there's no way in hell that Chris/Borb could've afforded UVA, and, unless there's some sort of special law in Virginia for in-state students, there's no way in hell Chris would get admitted to one of the top public universities in the United States.

He could have a PhD and he'd still be sitting on his ass playing with legos and cursing people from his past.

His dissertation: "Properties of Lego bricks upon application of heat".

 

[Andrew Noel Schaefer]

Chris Chans review of A Midsummer Nights Dream


"Mmm... uhm... it was ok" -Chris

 

[Watcher]

His dissertation: "Properties of Lego bricks colon upon application of heat McDonalds".

fix'd

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

His dissertation: "Properties of Lego bricks colon heart level upon application of heat McDonalds stress".

fix'd

Double fix'd

 

[Wall of Originals]

He would copy and paste Wikipedia synopses. Until he would crash into slumber.

 

[Watcher]

He's assume all the characters were homos and would add new ones to "enhance" the story for himself.

 

[Coldgrip]

No matter what story he read, he'd find a way to make it about himself and his "struggles".

 

[Hyperion]

hmm yeah... so dem moby duck mmm yeah.... sigh.... mmm yeah... mmm yeah... sigh.... mmm yeah.... sigh.... watch the Lego Movie, now out in 2014~

 

[Mourning Dove]

He'd compare all the stories to MLP.

 

[José Mourinho]

 

[DeadMansHand]

 

[Tragi-Chan]

"It was da besta times, mmm, it was da worsta times. It was da wa- da age of wisdom, it was... sigh..." *crashes into slumber*

 

[trueandhonestfan]

What if Chris got his own anime series?

We might get to hear about suck classics as Romance of the Three Sonichus or JULAAAAY to the West if Chris would be into Asian literature. We might also get The Adventures of Huckleberry Sonichu or Nineteen-Eighty Sonichu.

 

[Ryan Rash]

 

[CWCissey]

Surely that should read 'Danger Resident Evil'?