What did Null do to you? - Thread for Null-victims

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I can’t tell you what Null did to me, but I can say that irl Null is truly terrible at everything except one thing - digging in his heels autistically. He has fallen into the single best career for him and is proof positive of “a lid for every pot” because there’s no other job he could realistically do. If you interact with him outside this web zone he is unilaterally unpleasant and despite the tongue in cheek tone of this thread I’m sure there’s plenty of people he’s actually offended rolling around in here. His interpersonal skills are negative and his attitude is garbage, but he runs a fantastic forum. The very traits that make him unlikeable and difficult in social situations are his armor against the tranny menace.

To be clear, I’m in awe of his ability to keep this place alive. He’s just a fucking asshole irl
 
Me and my friends decided to honey trap at a fairground and then ransom him.

While the rest were debating whether or not to kill him, I was guarding him and we struck up an unlikely friendship.
He showed me a picture of his girlfriend and asked me to take care of her if the ransom was not paid.

The kiwi forces refused to pay up, so while I was walking him to be shot, he managed to slip his bonds but ran straight into a troop carrier loaded with highly trained and armed Kiwi Moderation team members.

I managed to escape while they killed my friends.

I later went over the water and found his girlfriend working in a hairdresser’s.

After some awkward flirting and helping her with a pimp, we finally got down to business.

Unfortunately she had a bigger penis than me.

Well done Null you sneaky fucker!
 
“Do you know how much it costs to have Torrid ship to Serbia you ungrateful retard?”

The yellow floral dress landed at my feet next to a pile of takeout menus printed in Cyrillic. It looked like the dress Chantel wore at the height of her green peen chasing glory.

As I put the oversized dress on, I remembered being pushed through customs in a wheelchair, and Null telling the immigration agent I was his brain damaged cousin. I must have been drugged because I don’t remember how I got to the airport.

Null went answered a knock at the door and scent of paneer filled the small apartment. He came back and for a moment it was silent except for the low hum coming from the tangle of magical computer shit.

He asked if I liked it and I said I don’t know, I’d never had paneer. Then he called me a phone posting faggot and said he meant do I like the dress. I said it’s a pretty color but it’s too way big. The neckline was so wide it kept sliding off my shoulder. He told me that’s the point, that I had to eat until it fit if I wanted to go home.

Getting fat in Serbia is harder than getting fat in the US. I don’t know if I’ll ever be fat enough for him to get bored and let me go. My only peace comes during DDOS attacks when he’s too busy to pick up tons of food. The worst part is this could have been prevented if I hadn’t forgotten to turn on my VPN that one time.
 
AnOminous powiedział(a):
He locked a thread about a lolcow because a couple of retards were deliberately stirring shit, instead of just banning the retards.
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...
What you need to do is look him straight in the eyes, adopt a determined expression, and say, "No, Null. Don't lock threads". Hope it helps
 
He still hasn't responded to my request to be besties. I even sent him half of a "Best Friends" necklace, and a friendship bracelet that I made with my own hands!
 
Internet Power Couple.png
Internet Lovers.png
Josh admits he likes Brittany Venti.png

He banned me from the lolcow salon because I photoshopped these.
It was supposed to expire on Jan 10th but it still hasn't so I still can't mock Anisa Jomha :stress:


Edit: he just told me it was a month ban instead of a week ban so I can't mock Venti or Jomha until Feb 3rd :(
 
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