weigh in + cook with me | weekly vlog | 002 - 10/10/2021

[ADHD]

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[triangle triangle]

In which she weighs in at 518lb and puts Twinkie’s harness on like an alien who is imitating a pet owner because she’s never independently walked a dog before.

 

[MarvelousMess]

Whole case of Smirnoff Ice in the refrigerator..prob wifey’s… and why is Amber saying she has to switch her closet from the master into Becky’s old one?? If it’s only her there?
Also, she was 520lb on sept 28 and 517lb on the 5th or 6th (date estimate), how did she only lose that little in a week walking Twinkie as much as she says and eating as she shows /moving as much as she claims at her weight?

*edit- darn auto correct & more

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

In which I can't be assed to time-stamp because fuck it that's why.

Spoiler: Let's just give a general run-down, shall we?

Blathers for a time about Bachelor in Paradise. 10/10 recommend, she loves is. Doesn’t like Bachelorette because there’s a bunch of men and there’s not as much drama.

Cooking breakfast? Huh. So she’s doing eggs and bacon of the turkey variety. Chalula hot sauce, pam, season salt and a Colby jack cheese stick.

I was onboard until she drowns her fucking eggs in season salt. Holy fuck. Yuck.

So this wench doesn’t blend her eggs prior to cooking them - she ‘scrambles’ them in the pan while they’re cooking. I’ve done this before - before I learned how to flip a fucking egg and keep the yolk from breaking. So during childhood. It’s called the ‘give up and make your over-medium eggs scrambled instead’ trick. You’re fooling nobody, AL.

And now my internet connection dies as she’s pouring her chopped up ‘scrambled’ egg mess onto her plate. Reset, and we’re back on. Holy shit, the excitement, it never ends. No, I’m not yawning my face off. Why do you ask?

Weigh in time. 517.2. When she picks it up it goes to 518.2. She doesn’t show the surface that the scale is set upon. Or if she has both feet on it. I still say that DeathByJen has more convincing weigh ins.

Huh, she’s pulling out the stops. She’s taking Twinkie on a walk. And the damned dog doesn’t understand what the hell’s happening.

If you love dogs, don’t watch this part - the harness placement is totally wrong and the poor animal has the lead going under her damned body and between her hind legs. Because yes, AL put it on her upside-down.

And she feeds her damned dog a huge amount of kibble, then follows up with treats. The treats portion is the happiest you’ll ever see the dog.

Ugh, makeup time. She shows off all the shit she’s going to be applying to her face. I don’t care. MOMENT. UGH. Sorry. But she’s calling things a moment.

She doesn’t bother showing the application, she just shows up what she’s putting on her face. Which includes four different mascaras. Because she needs new ones and just fucking piles on the old shit.

She’s done with her makeup, and still looks like shit.

She is in her closet, and says she’s supposed to be switching closets. She’s packing to stay the weekend with the muppet and the chicken killer. Very intriguing that she’s staying with those guys when they’ve made it evident in vlogs that they can hardly tolerate her.

She shows off that she has multiple pairs of her giant black pants. She calls her black pants an obsession.

Then she shows her ‘cute little underwear moment’ which NO. At least she’s not showing them on her filthy blobby body.

Driving and being outdoors with Necky. And what appears to be the muppet.

She then praises her subscribers and shit. Apparently she has a PO Box and will put it in the description because she doesn’t have it memorized and can’t remember the zip code. She apparently received a gift blanket for her dog and it’s hand made. Which I doubt because it’s so outrageously uniform. She keeps blathering about all the love she gets.

She’s watching Midnight Mass or some shit at the end. Expect to hear more about it in the future.

She professes that her vlogs are going with the flow, so they’ll be short and boring as fuck. And her outro is dumb

TL,DR: Fuck it, she's a boring cunt.

Edited because spelling vexes me.

 

[dollastoho]

-Some things never change, like Amber's cooking skills. How tf do the eggs look so dry when she dumped half a bottle of hot sauce in them?!
-She is running out of makeup so must be curbing spending habits.
-AL finally showed a gift from a viewer, blanket for Twinkie (cute) still forgot to add p.o. box in description.
-AL spent the weekend with the boys. So did wifey stay home for a poly weekend moment?
ETA - Twinkie's treats are from BarkBox a monthly subscription box. They come with sturdy toys and healthy treats so that's a plus.

 

[chihuahua cowboy]

-Some things never change, like Amber's cooking skills. How tf do the eggs look so dry when she dumped half a bottle of hot sauce in them?!
-She is running out of makeup so must be curbing spending habits.
-AL finally showed a gift from a viewer, blanket for Twinkie (cute) still forgot to add p.o. box in description.
-AL spent the weekend with the boys. So did wifey stay home for a poly weekend moment?

Yeah, those eggs were abysmal. We all know she’s a terrible cook, somehow it’s still shocking to see that much ‘season salt’ on the eggs. Guess we should be glad that Mrs. Dash didn’t make an appearance.

 

[Kitsunehime]

honestly...the Segment in her Vlog that she took while out for Eric and Ricky looked exactly like what was in Beckys first Vlog when she showed that little Creek Area where her Mom gave her Partnership to that man...she even showed Becky with her Cellphone to her Face talking O.o i wonder if this is like 2-3 Week old Material in Between because she didn t record enough this Week O.o
btw...i still question the autenthicity of the Scale o.o# my inner Autist want to check the description of her Scales Model to see if that thing got a Memory Button...then she would just use the older Weign Ins she had....u can t see a Date on the Scale when she shows the Numbers so...who knows...who knows....

 

[Chía P.]

I don't get the praise over the bare minimum.

Also: Amber, take that scale away from the countertop, you moron.

 

[FatalTater]

honestly...the Segment in her Vlog that she took while out for Eric and Ricky looked exactly like what was in Beckys first Vlog when she showed that little Creek Area

Pretty sure it's the same area, though there are a lot of little places like it down there. Becky doesn't show herself her video, so I don't know what she was wearing. (yes I looked.)

Oh Amber. ELF makeup? Somebody done been to the Dollar Tree?

I still think the tiny throwaway line of Eric's from back in the day of NO ONE CARES! has never been more relevant than now.

 

[New & Improved Username]

The old shitty intro...fuuuuck. People who don't scramble eggs in a bowl before pouring them in the pan irk me. How come she can say orgasm but not sex? That is not a handmade blanket you dolt.

Becky- stop enabling this bitch. Especially is you're not going to give us details about her corpulence. 0.05/10

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

BTW, found the blanket.

ETSY link for the curious.

I'm betting it's a store-bought sheet of fleece and the 'handmade' bit comes in with the fact that it has another fabric stitched onto the back and fringes cut into it. The bit of craftsmanship done to it would qualify it as a 'handmade' blanket.

 

[Dona Morte]

Oinky treat?
GOOOOORL.
4 different mascaras?
Need to buy new?
How long you kept that?
You mean IMPOSING on Eric and Ricky.

 

[BobsonDugnutt]

-Some things never change, like Amber's cooking skills. How tf do the eggs look so dry when she dumped half a bottle of hot sauce in them?!

It always asounds me when morbidly obese people don't know how to cook. The fact that you will stuff your face with the most mediocre of food is a big yikes.

-AL finally showed a gift from a viewer, blanket for Twinkie (cute) still forgot to add p.o. box in description.

Of course she has a PO box... ENABLE ME MOAR GAIS.

The old shitty intro...fuuuuck.

Her intros are always good for a cringe moment type deal.

 

[marjoram]

Too boring for words.

What is (slightly) interesting is the thumbs up/down ratio. Where do these wetbrains come from?
And yeah, not a hand made blanket

-6/10

 

[mekalekahi]

Her audience really have the memory of a goldfish. She films herself scrambling eggs and throwing leaves in the air and shes a sweetheart all of a sudden.

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

congrats to her nutsack-esque chin for being able to successfully jut out of her fat fucking face

 

[Chocola]

i thought you were overreacting, but this bitch actually put the dog harness on in the most retarded way possible on this Earth. she has so much fat around her brain, shouldnt it work good?

she may have actually never walked the dog herself at this new place

 

[I am vomit]

What the actual fuck Amber? Properly secure your fucking dog. Who the hell just puts a harness on like that and goes "OH WELL GOOD ENOUGH" Poor Twinkie, that had to be so uncomfortable. I didn't think she could get more mouth breathing, window licking, retarded but here we are.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

I can get behind some cheese eggs.
She did it wrong. How do you mess up cheese eggs?

 

[Sarah Connor]

congrats to her nutsack-esque chin for being able to successfully jut out of her fat fucking face