Things you’ve been banned from - Post your criminal record here. Doesn’t matter if it’s social media, game or IRL place

[KSachiko77]

I got banned from BF4 servers all the time back in the day. I also got banned from this one website a short time ago but that's nothing important.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Banned from a local store for knocking over an entire shelf of product.

Was that on purpose? If so, why?

 

[Rock hard as a Flintstone]

4chan /v/ back in the PS3 era console wars: Called some bing bing wahoo faggot a Nintenbaby. It was funny enough at the time to keep resetting the router so I could help fan the flames on all sides.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

4chan /v/

Oh yeah, back when the "GamerGate" circus was unfolding, I was told to not even mention "GamerGate" in a /vg/ thread. Dunno if mod.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

Breitbart's comments section	Making jokes about Israeli bombs causing forced abortions in Palestine
Walmart (1 yr)	Quit by calling absentee manager a cunt
Breitbart's comments section (again)	More abortion jokes. Also ban evading
Several realtors	They keep calling me so I make up stories where I've either illegally converted my house into a doomsday bunker or I'm a male stripper. I'll keep calling them back until they block my number.

 

[Axiom.]

IP banned from LinkedIn because I used a VPN
More than likely shadowbanned by YouTube because I told a tranny, during a pity party, to self delete and saying "YWNBAW"

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I got perma banned from a gaming forum for getting annoyed at someone that didn't understand the concept of clicking on something. I was on thin ice after making a dick joke about playing a game with hard mode on. This forum didn't allow that sort of humor, but I thought it was fine because someone got away with a thread about his Prince Albert.

 

[Bullet Club]

NeoGAF - Off Site Drama/Calling someone a pedo

Resetera - Off Site Drama/Posting at Kiwi Farms

That's about it.

 

[Battlefield42]

Discord: racism and homophobia
Xitter: blocked by keffals for simply following. I never follow lolcows again
Edit, im tarded

 

[The Last Stand]

I was banned from Low Tier God's chat for complimenting another player.

 

[FailurePersonifiedV2]

Banned from a White Castle
And I'm also banned from a funeral home.

That last one is alarming

 

[Uncle Tom's Condo]

Online:
-Something Awful: Calling a mod a faggot
-Reddit: Trolling tranny subs
-CBC.ca: Booted from the comment section questioning first nations' spending of money
-Discord: Shit posting on sports team's server

IRL:
-Two wedding venues: Intoxication and getting the cops called
-Several bars: Intoxication
-Local car dealership for harassing them for breaking a part on my car and them refusing to cover the cost to fix their error
-Ski hill for giving my lift ticket to some guy in the parking with like two hours left in the day
-One year ban from extended family Thanksgiving Christmas: Take a wild guess
-Mini-golf course: Over enthusiastic golf swings

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I can't get banned if I don't make an account in the first place. Regardless, I've had a few accounts get banned from some forums, and I've been kicked from some IRC rooms when people found out I didn't like faggots. Here's my funniest ban here, however:
Null personally banned me from the programming thread.

 

[Croaking Spider]

First off,

blasting chimpanzee sounds at black people in the fortnite discord despite not even playing fortnite.

You're a menace to society and I laughed way harder than I should have at that.

White trash.

Hey now, that term isn't PC. We use the term "caucasian debris".

I can't think of a single online space off the top of my head that I've been banned from, but I have been banned from a particular Golden Corral location. I was getting ready to leave with friends and my stomach was upset from something (or everything) I ate, so I dipped out to the bathroom.

Somehow, the bathroom in this Golden Corral was a single-seater with two urinals, so I just kinda perched myself against the wall and waited a bit for the stall to free up. 10 minutes go by, nothing. 15 minutes go by, still waiting. Not a plop, grunt, TP rip, piss drip, fucking nadah. Not even a cough.

At this point, I'm fighting for my fucking life to prevent shitting my socks and I'm becoming quite irate. In a move I could only describe as "autistic yet effective" in retrospect, I planted my feet directly in front of the door and shook the stall as hard as I could for about 5 seconds.

SURPRISE SURPRISE, I finally hear a sound of belt buckle rattle and the door latches open. Out scurries some teenager who had clearly been dicking about on his phone for the last 15 minutes, visibly shaken. We both just gave each other a side eye and went about our business. I kinda felt like an asshole about it, less so now, but I was absolutely positive I was about to be cruising in my own feces on my 50 mile trip back home.

I finish up, and just as I'm walking out the door, the manager is coming in to find me. Basically tells me I'm "being a public disturbance" and tells me to not return to the location. Not a loss, it was kind of out of the way for where I lived and the food was mid.

It's been almost a decade since, I'm sure I could walk right in today and nobody would know or care. That manager is probably retired or dead at this point.

Sorry this turned into a fucking essay, Kiwis. I started feeling a certain type of way recalling this story and I had to set a mood.

 

[Mojo Thief]

I haven't gotten a site-wide ban from Reddit (yet), but I did get preemptively banned from like a dozen ultra-lefty echochamber subreddits for posting a reply on a freakout vid that didn't portray black people in the best light (it was one of those "comments locked because y'all can't behave" type of comments sections).

 

[Spunt]

I got banned from the PopJustice forums for saying that OK Computer was better than Kid A. Apparently nobody could genuinely hold that opinion and I must be "trolling".

Kid A has one classic (How to Disappear Completely), one interesting song (National Anthem), all the rest is tedious electronic beeping that goes on forever and I will die on this fucking hill.

I also got banned from the Cracked forums for comparing Tony Blair to Hitler, which I admit was unfair to Hitler.

 

[Womble of Wimbledon]

Got banned from an AlbumArtExchange (basically a site to download album art from) for downloading too much album art. The guy who runs that site is a fucking retard. He also banned all IPs from my country AND would ban you for using a VPN. So you couldn't win.

 

[glue eater]

Twitter - racism six million times
Truth Social - racism (so much for based Trump platform)
YouTube - racism
WoW private server - I managed to halt the level progression of the entire server for multiple days by glitching myself into the custom leveling area and pulling boss mobs on noobs who would then chainkill them all. In fact they got so butthurt they removed the skills I used from the code so they no longer are usable on any server using the same code.

 

[Swiss46]

I got banned from my local Mexican restaurant once.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

Local golf club
Explanation: I don't like putting, as it's complete pussy shit, and they got very angry because of all the chipping on the green I was doing. Additionally, there was like a short order fast food thing at the clubhouse, the kind where you place your order and come get your tray when they call your number, and I would steal food all the time by standing there with an unrelated receipt, waiting for someone to place an order and go to the bathroom or something, and when they call his number I pretend to check the number on my receipt and take the food.