- Dołączono
- 30 Mar 2023
The alarm buzzed at 6:42 AM, which was three minutes before I actually intended to wake up, but my internal clock is notoriously unreliable because it doesn’t account for the fact that I had turned the phone over, so the screen light didn’t register, even though the vibration did, which is a mechanical issue I’ve been meaning to look into, but I never really got around to it because I kept thinking I’d do it on Saturday, but Saturdays are for laundry, and Sundays are for meal prep, so really, there’s no designated time for fixing alarms, which is why I just hit snooze and stared at the ceiling fan, noting how it wobbled slightly on the third rotation, a wobble that had been there for months, maybe years, and I wondered if it was the dust accumulation or just the general wear and tear of the house settling, which it was probably doing, because the floorboards in the hallway creaked whenever I walked past the kitchen, a creak that sounded like a sigh, which was dramatic, I know, but it’s what it sounded like, so I got up and brushed my teeth, looking at the toothpaste tube which was getting a bit flat, so I had to squeeze it from the bottom, which is a satisfying sensation but also wasteful because you get little bits of paste stuck in the crimp at the end that you have to dig out with your fingernail, which I did, and then I put on my clothes, specifically the blue shirt and the khaki pants, which were clean because I had washed them on Tuesday, or was it Wednesday? I can never remember the days of the week accurately because they all blur together into a sort of beige continuum of routine, so I ate some oatmeal, which was warm, but not too warm, just lukewarm, which is the temperature I prefer because boiling oatmeal burns your tongue and then you can’t talk properly, and talking is important, even if you’re just talking to yourself in the kitchen, because it keeps your vocal cords loose, so I ate the oatmeal while looking out the window at the neighbor’s dog, which was a small, yappy thing that barked at the mailman every single day, regardless of whether the mailman had mail or not, and I wondered if the dog understood the concept of mail, or if it just understood that a person in a uniform was entering its territory, which is a valid concern for a dog, I suppose, even if it is a bit much, so I finished the oatmeal, put the bowl in the sink, and realized I hadn’t turned on the tap, so the bowl was just sitting there with the sticky residue, which I would have to deal with later, but later never seems to come because by the time I get to the sink, I’m usually thinking about something else, like the wobbly fan or the yappy dog or whether I remembered to take out the trash on Tuesday, which I probably did, but I might not have, and if I didn’t, then the trash bag might have leaked, which is a unpleasant thought, so I decided to check, but by then I was already walking to the door, so I just left it for now, because I would deal with it when I got back, which is a cycle I’ve been stuck in for years, really, just dealing with things when I get back, instead of dealing with them when I’m there, which seems more efficient, but I never seem to make that connection, so I went to work, which was a long drive, mostly on the highway, which is boring because you’re just driving in a straight line for an hour, watching the white lines go by, which hypnotize you, and you start to zone out, and you miss your exit, which happened to me once, and I had to drive back, which was annoying because it added ten minutes to my day, and ten minutes is a long time when you’re already feeling like you’re losing track of the day, so I got to work, and I sat at my desk, and I answered some emails, which were mostly about schedules and meetings, which I don’t really remember the content of, but I remember the feeling of them, which was a sort of mild anxiety, like I was supposed to be doing something more important, but I wasn’t sure what that was, so I just kept answering emails, and then I went to lunch, which was a sandwich, turkey and cheese on rye, which was fine, nothing special, just a sandwich, and I ate it at my desk because I was busy, or I told myself I was busy, so I didn’t have time to go to the break room, which is a shame because the break room has a nice view of the parking lot, and sometimes you can see the sky, which is blue, or gray, depending on the day, and today it was gray, so I ate my sandwich while looking at the gray sky, and I thought about how gray skies are kind of peaceful, in a depressing way, and then I went back to work, and I did more emails, and then I went home, and I drove home, which was the same way I came, but in reverse, which is a weird concept, reversing time and space, but you don’t really think about it, you just do it, and then I got home, and I made dinner, which was pasta, because pasta is easy, and I ate it while watching TV, which was a show I had seen before, so I didn’t really pay attention to it, I just let it play in the background, and then I went to bed, and I slept, and that was the day.
