Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

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So when does @Null to have implement Western-Wall style times for various factions to congregate and conduct conflicting Lowtax death rituals?
I want to claim thread dibs for Nov 9th and May 11th, which is Lowtax Death Day and Lowtax's Birthday. I will post remembrances on these dates or slightly before.
 
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I always thought Maplewife was kind of an unreliable narrator and probably white trash garbage herself but there's no doubt in my mind that Lowtax would've possibly done a murder-suicide thing if he would've had access to her. Junkie Lowtax nodding off was just one aspect of him, the times he was actually awake he had a weird, hostile, vindictive intensity to him that makes me believe he could've been actually dangerous if the opportunity would've presented itself. His suicide came from a place of anger, not a place of despair. It was big fuck you, maybe even to Momtax for not fixing his mess properly this time around. It's probably good that he was a bloated junkie at the end and just didn't have the energy, otherwise I don't think he would've died alone. It's hard to overstate what a POS he was. It will never not be funny what eventually caused his downfall was the classical POS archetype - a borderline woman. Truly met his match there.
 
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Stan said:
So when does @Null to have implement Western-Wall style times for various factions to congregate and conduct conflicting Lowtax death rituals?
I want to claim thread dibs for Nov 9th and May 11th, which is Lowtax Death Day and Lowtax's Birthday. I will post remembrances on these dates or slightly before.
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The proper LowTax way to celebrate his death, sorry, life, would be for each faction to create their own subforum on the Farms and bitch at each other while Null drinks Mangosteen juice and eats pies. The first clique to get the other's subforum shut down is the winner and gets a box of wine and a Doom House DVD.
 
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AmpleApricots said:
Junkie Lowtax nodding off was just one aspect of him, the times he was actually awake he had a weird, hostile, vindictive intensity to him that makes me believe he could've been actually dangerous if the opportunity would've presented itself. His suicide came from a place of anger, not a place of despair.
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The sarcastic insult-comic schtick masked lowtax’s true identity as an irritable asshole who liked to take the mick out of people. It wasn’t a very good disguise.
Spunt said:
The proper LowTax way to celebrate his death, sorry, life, would be for each faction to create their own subforum on the Farms and bitch at each other while Null drinks Mangosteen juice and eats pies. The first clique to get the other's subforum shut down is the winner and gets a box of wine and a Doom House DVD.
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As tempting as that 5L of wine board white is, currying favor with the admin and getting subforums shut down in political coups sounds like more work than I’m willing to do.

I have a different idea. How about I bring the Franzia, @Dyn brings the rotary washline, and all the factions can play a game of Goon of Fortune on Lowtax Day. If the goon lands on you, you have to improvise a Lowtax moment. If you get applause you pass, if it’s bad you have to drink. 🍷 the first one to be photographed passed out on the couch wins.
 
Stan said:
So when does @Null to have implement Western-Wall style times for various factions to congregate and conduct conflicting Lowtax death rituals?
I want to claim thread dibs for Nov 9th and May 11th, which is Lowtax Death Day and Lowtax's Birthday. I will post remembrances on these dates or slightly before.
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I don't see why we need anything that complex. Simple queuing works for restrooms at other busy events, so should work for Lowtax's grave.
 
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Stan said:
I have a different idea. How about I bring the Franzia, @Dyn brings the rotary washline, and all the factions can play a game of Goon of Fortune on Lowtax Day.
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I celebrate Lowtax Day by completely ignoring it like it's any other day of the year because Something Awful was cringe and Lowtax was a dumb drunk faggot I don't care about.
 
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My head hurts reading this because I can't believe someone could make so many avoidable, stupid decisions so many times in succession. I don't even think the divorce judgement was awful enough for him to kill himself. But... it makes sense for someone who was trapped on an hedonistic treadmill, and not used to owning up to responsibilities.
 
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Only for his children is it respectable to wish Lowtax had not ended himself. He didn't even do anything that was worth dying over he just gave up. Like he was the first guy to act like an asshole over divorce and custody proceedings and then made his kids feel guilty since he claimed the child support obligation was his reason for eating lead.

Committing suicide was the worst thing Lowtax had ever done.
 
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IMO it was on purpose to fuck with all the people he felt have "wronged" him. The ultimate vindication. He was enough of a petty asshole to lash out like that at his own kids, too. People like Lowtax are fathers that will tell you with a straight face that their 5 year old once had a tantrum in which they behaved hateful towards them and said a hurtful thing, so the decades of abuse afterwards towards the kid were fully justified. Yes, such people exist.

Some said it was reckless towards his mother who was dying of cancer, but on reflection I think it probably was a fully intentional fuck you to her too. If I judge Lowtax correctly, dude was probably pissed at her too for not making it all go away, maybe even blaming her for everything to begin with. I reiterate: When he repainted that basement, I don't think he was depressed beyond the usual wallowing in self-pity, I think he was mostly angry.

Edit: I just remembered: Dude compared himself to biblical Job at the end. lmao.
 
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No matter how down and out Lowtax was, he always managed to have groupies. Apparently even when he’s cold and in the ground. Even knowing he spent his final days having trannies shit on him over a table and gorging on Goldbelly pies. If he hadn’t ended his miserable life, he’d probably be married again with another Taxbaby.
 
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