random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

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the last time a jew knew multivariable calculus it was the rosenbergs

. They went on a camping trip a year or two ago where it wasn’t feasible to bring their nozzle and gallons of coffee, so they were unable to shit for 9 days. When they got back and tried to unclog themselves, the sounds coming out of the toilet were like someone playing a very high pitched kazoo

Every app is a dating app if you are Indian enough.

I'm too hot and British to have problems so now I eat pussy outta nowhere

i would make a gofundme to use the money to buy potatos

I don't know how Satan himself managed to land the job as UX designer for the Meta Business Suite, but his unique style and sense of humor certainly shine through the whole thing.

Nigga looks like Lester from GTA5 but if his name started with "Childmo"

That's how IP bans work you digital retard

everyone I've ever made eye contact with is invited to my McMansion in the boonies

That’s the world-famous Autism Typing Style™

tfw you have the face for the radio and the voice for mime play
 
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He mentions being "misgendered" right beforehand, too, which probably means some guy clocked him and gave him the stink eye as he crept into the women's restroom, and said other guy was actively deciding whether or not to go physically adjust his broken brain with concussive maintenance as the photo was being taken.
 
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