random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[NoReturn]

You’re the real MVP, I got halfway through the porn post yesterday and gave up.

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“Why can’t we act more like the real women?”
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I forgot to highlight the middle one but they’re so dramatic. Genocide detected!
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Almost feel bad for the ones who can keep that creepy shit to themselves.
Almost, I’m not crazy.
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I don’t self-identify as a fascist but my hate for trans women increased by over 9,000% after lurking on MTF for a while. MTF is at least 41% of the reason y’all are losing your discount titty skittles, I guarantee it.
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“No shoes, no shirt, no service”
“No thx I’d rather die”
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It doesn’t matter now, true.
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If they can’t find nasty posts on MTF they’re either a) dead inside gooners and numb to it all or b) fucking lying liars who lie. Nice to see them Reddit-lawyering their own kind.
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As cool as a trans person can be.
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Good luck guys
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Where does this “it doesn’t matter how we look or act” activism come from? It’s fucking retarded. Those are the few things you actually can control, and with everyone having a recording studio in their pockets at all times, it’s important as fuck.

 

[Tablet County]

Befriend women. Respect women. Roundhouse kick women friendships into existence. Slam dunk some healthy fruit and vegetables into a woman's mouth. Love thy neighbor. Share some food with a women. Launch women into orbit as part of high-paying astronaut jobs. Treat women like human beings. Warn women not to fall into active volcanoes. Share life experiences with women. Watch TV and play video games with women. Invite women to parties. Report women to the Nobel foundation. Karate chop misogynistic stereotypes in half. Give up your seat for pregnant women. Free women from quicksand. Appreciate women. Create women history month. Eat with women. Dance with women with steel-toed boots. Cremate women in the oven, but only if their family didn't want them to be buried. Dignify women. Equal rights for women. Collect womens garbage to put in the garbage disposal. Surgically reconstruct women with a ray gun. Help old women cross the road. Admire women. Slice misogyny with a katana.

 

[NoReturn]

Friends?​

From:

It made me laugh so hard I made it my new user title.

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Give me all the top hats you want, but I fucking hate this faggot and have always thought his YouTube channel was trash. I hope he gets raped by a pack of niggers.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Not sure if it's ever been mentioned but there's a black man with the name Patrick Tomlinson and even he is more successful than Patrick.

 

[The Lаughing Man]

Never trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die.

 

[Skitarii]

when Toji was temp-banned, Zoey's salmon was on his plate, he called out; "I can't eat, I can't eat!". Human beings around the farms' broke down, why? Because when we imagine it we think that this person had to eat Zoey's salmon on his plate! And for day after day after day after minute, 7 day he is calling out! "I can't eat, I can't eat!". HOOWWW ABAAWT WHEN FOR OVER AN HOUR YOU CALL OUT "I AM HUNGRY, I AM HUNGRY! IS THERE ANYONE TO SATE MY HUNGER?"
Toji had Zoey's salmon on his plate and it hurt him, he was not able to recover. I ask you all of my dear brothers and sisters, a SALMON ON THE PLATE A ZOEY COOKING DISASTER ON THE STOVE A BATHTUB COOKING IN THE BATHROOM AN UNDERCOOKED DISH ON BOTH OF THE TABLES

OP I don't know how you did it, but you managed to make liking women gay.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Harry Potter and the Audacity of this Nigger.

 

[Pedophobe]

Feels like a scene from idiocracy.

OP is like your high-school ex that ditched you for the star of the football team who was heading to the NFL but the dream died after a knee injury and they now spend their time raising two bastard children on a Workman's Comp income after gaining 85 pounds and messaging you on Facebook desperate for you to take them back.

Based or cringe? I’m going with cringe.

 

[Guns of the Gaytriots]

reprimand your oshi for being wrong

 

[Potato Burrito]

Somehow he has the gall to talk about his coleslaw crotch as if any of its parts are analagous to a real vulva, so to be truthful, much of this seems karmic.

 

[Dr. Butt]

"They're shouldn't already on my radar"

FUCKING DANGEROUS

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I'm sorry ma'am, but you won't be able to castrate your children for social media attention anymore -
they're not gay, they're just retarded.

"Oi, I think I wanna cut me tallywhacker off an' wear me mum's knickers."

NHS: "Yer jus' a spaz, mate."

How do you get more raped than this?

Mrs. and Mr. Jomha have entered the fuhrer bunker.

Lol, the wording implies that it would be by himself. Just the idea of this trashy sexless husband and wife with no friends photographing each other's OnlyFans in separate rooms in their own house is making brain matter shoot out from my ears.

Telling 14 year old girls to put ice cubes up their vagina really does make a mf lose 100 pounds.

Even if you're having a shit day, chin up! Remember, at least you're not one of the Jomhas.

Sources cited: gut feeling, intuition, primal instinct

Squat weight, bitch
Post cookies, bitch
CLEAN UP YOUR FUCKING DISCORD, BITCH!!

OH NO! How could a pedo weeb sex pest have possibly gotten in and become a Janny? We will never know...

I love women but I do NOT want to see Anisa's butthole.

Well, if the idea of a badly married, baldly dressed, badly tattooed imbecile with hair that looks like it was cut in a meat grinder exposing herself in a sleazy public bathroom satisfies your curiosity, I can find the post of it.

Can't have shit in Detroit. Not even goofy words.

>sado-masochist
So she would've been stoned to death for being a whore and she would have loved it?

I pray to God that when Ian finally kills himself, he does it on camera. I'd pay good money to see him shit himself upon death as he stains the wall with chunks of what little brain he has and his AIDS riddled blood.

Apparently her butthole is already out there, but no one's posted it here.

Imagine having such a butthole that no one even wishes to see it despite what's out there already.

Who the fuck only makes two cookies??

When did the internet left become just a bunch of atheist Jews and atheist Muslims flinging shit at each other over a war thousands of miles away?

This would be surprising if it weren't so typical.

"You couldn't possibly expect me to sweep up Wikipedia for free without first mentioning my devotion to the great state of Kentucky, right? I simply MUST talk about Kentucky. I'm from Kentucky btw (that's where the Kentucky derby takes place!).
Did someone say chicken? How quaint. A true Kentuckian such as myself regards Kentucky Fried Chicken as a mid-tier chicken at best.
My interests, you say? I'll give you one guess."

"Milk and Cookies" is the title of this chapter in the book they'll write about the Jomhas

A Redditor who won't admit he's a Redditor VS An empty carton of eggs
What riveting drama

Ngl, Razorfist looks almost exactly like this guy I knew like 15 years ago who brought one of his female friends to this porn studio in an attempt to get into the industry but they told him his dick was too small so instead of just leaving, he threw a shitfit and had to be physically removed from the property.

Razorfist talks fast, has hyper autism and jerks off on camera. Styx talks sluggish, has slow autism and gropes people on camera

Someone please decapitate this retard

Save the planet, genocide trannies

Multiple pages with no collegiate level dissertations from Lord Imperator? We are so back.

Every new jannie phonebook is more horrifying than the last, excellent work.

still better looking than ms amhole and her neocunt full of optimus primes

Kev’s amhole isn’t full of transformer toys.

Well, I’ve run out of time to edit it, but apparently Ryan does not fuck kids.

My gender is not your costume. "Masc mode?" You need to be in take your meds mode.

 

[Local Fed]

"Hey guys don't share selfies here, we're being spied on by parasocial kiwifarms stalkers. I'm from Kentucky, by the way."

This personal lolcow of mine dated my mother for several months, so excuse me if I'm a bit vague in my details.

>Waved a Chainsaw around while screaming "Chainsaw" like he is a badass.

Doug Stanhope was in his 50s before he met his first black person. thats how lucky liberals got to be in life.

He one time told me that I stole magic out of children's lives.

And tbh I'm not too active these days since I got banned from the politics thread for daring to question Todd Howard.

I think people are reading way too much into if the Kino Casino should attack Israel or not.

 

[Dr. Butt]

"I don't want to fuck a pan."

 

[DoNotFeedTheSneed]

Nigger is using roblox as an offshore bank account

 

[Tablet County]

I like that the two posters above me are both cute little bug themed. I love cute little bugs.

Sorry for my Tardski hatred and seething everyone, but he blocked me on Twitter, so this is my only outlet to hate on him.

 

[Penis Drager 2.0]

You are completely fucking retarded if you do not understand why I want to give money to white women calling somalian rapist immigrants niggers

 

[vomitusdeux]

there are people afraid of the playstation startup sound.

That goddamn Satellite Man is making him autistic and incontinent

"I get dysphoric when my pregnancy is very noticeable because people will realize I'm actually a woman" then why the fuck did you get pregnant?

I care more about getting paid to translate loli porn than I do about my kiwifarms account

No stalker child, I did not fart in my wife's vagina, it was actually my headmate.

Another day, another shitty drawing of sonic with zipper tits.

What the heck are violent words?

Look dead serious in my eyes and tell me furries are not future of the industry

Never ask a transphobe what gender his boyfriend is.

I DO NOT DRINK DISHSOAP

Going in to your mother is def a trans experience.

I see no lol in the cow, kill yourself. now.

I enjoy watching an aging twink turn into the balding fat man he was always meant to be.

Since you and Keffals share the same air in the world there is a possibility that Keffals has inhaled your exhaled calories.

Thalmor agents glow in the dark, I run them over with my cart

My thick trans farting mommy dommy oshi…

That's what yall get talking to someone that pretends to have a pussy on the internet tbh

No, I do not count being molested as losing your virginity.

graeme is the gift that keeps on giving
please stop giving

Piss is wet, dogs bark, and brother, these retards will slup that piss instead of doing something productive,

A gay Nazi nigger? Did I miss anything? Also bipolar fish.

Silly goose, she was obviously fishing for updoots from the nurse!

No more welfare for you, waitress nigger.

she's a lesbian woman coming to the gay bathhouse to have lesbian sex.

Ummm sweetie, how am I supposed to get my hekkin validating and wholesome chungus girl boners if I remove my penis?

Today I learned a new word. That word is "Gock". Girl-cock = gock.

What gay man in the world would want those big hairy tits and womanly body? The whole deal is that they're men who like cock and butthole. These bitches probably look like the Venus of Willendorf.

“as an autistic ABDL we do not accept Andrew as part of our community”.

Who offers his hand to shake and says "Friends?" after blowing his load over your face. I can't stop rolling about that

 

[Space Police]

using roblox as an offshore bank account

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Why would you spend tons of money to revive an extinct canid that died out a paltry 12.000 years ago when skeemniggers have revived creatures from the Permian in their backyard using only dog cum?

I ate 300mg of edibles last time, and it made the music at a 4/20 event sort of tolerable, and the tacos amazing, so mission accomplished.

"Man that really sucked and I ended up in the ER last time... Oh well down it goes."

This is what jews actually believe. Though I think Orko is playing the long game to bring the whole rotten frankist edifice down. Cringer/battle cat is obviously the anglo-american golem. The Saudi royal family are crypto jews so it all plays out

And biological women.
Yes I do know they are the only kind of women there are.