random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Skitarii]

Please go back to your cookie jar David

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

Okay maybe that was a little racist of me but in all fairness the guy does want to make it legal for somebody to murder me on the streets with a blowtorch so I reserve the right to call him a PUNK ASS BITCH on the internet!

 

[I am vomit]

Imagine being a BPD whore and not even being able to self-harm properly.

Now looks what happens when you compare a woman to a surgurically mutilated man....

"If I can just convince my friend with health problems to get her arm sliced up and turned into a fake dick too, it will have all been worth it!"

I heard if you get a hysterectomy without a hysterectomy t-shirt, your stuff grows back and then you die in 7 days.

He's shaped like a fucking dorito. Those shoulders could be used as a battering ram.

>tfw you just want to draw photoshop fetish art of cartoon characters in surgical scrubs but hospitals and newspapers keep stealing your artwork without crediting you

There is absolutely nothing feminine about him at all, except the BPD diagnosis. Internalized homophobia wins again.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Donkey Kong came out in 1981

You know what also came out in 1981?

Spoiler

AIDS

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Progressively less well-executed mermaid tails.

At times like this I wish I drank, or had an alcohol problem.

You can't hand me a man and tell me it's a woman. I've bitten into it, tasted one from a tree.

And I assume the reason my grandparents don't scream is a mixture of not wanting to show weakness and of my not monitoring them 24/7 anyways.

Direct, yet timeless; an efficient dig that takes only five keystrokes.

 

[Blackhole]

I met Donald Trump at the gas station nearby and he called me a nigger to my face before heading off in a 4x4

Im not even black

We're going to cuck. We are going to cuck so much that our Democratic bulls will scream "please no more, I'm tired of all the cucking." And we will still cuck anyway!

You may call him a pukebird, fartrag, sleazenozzle, it all runs off him like water off a waterproof fedora. But call him a reddit moderator and you will be shocked at how he recoils, how he is taken aback.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I do not trust the judgement of any woman who has sex with a Turkish man.

 

[Cats]

 

[Table Country]

The closet for these fags really is a goddamn Labrynth of Crete and Nick is the AF Minotaur.

Ethan ralph cheeks spread like the sea beneath moses' staff
his cheeks clapped harder than your mom's last night when i had her
the intestinal gas released was more deadly than the one in the imaginary Auschwitz chambers
that chair is soiled forever with a brown stain

 

[Stabmaster Arson]

I totally will watch a Bond film that names the Jew

 

[Stabmaster Arson]

@Null and the rest of you broken brained baby demons are really late arrivals to the game. The FBI has watched me since 1970. You were recruited and you're the little fish that will get hurt the most when I expose the big fish.

Sorry for double post but editing doesnt let you paste quotes in.

 

[Mr Bunny]

From a PM chat.

In this thread you must post cats, bash England and commit an ethnic cleansing in the Balkans. Anything else?

@SneedEyeMitch

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

In my day, a bunch of men who lived together in a cabin in Washington state and took turns cauterizing each other's crotches was called a cult.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Edit: autoincorrect didn't know Hitler? WTF?

We've seen these people build fences, make tacos, and wear makeup.

 

[Stabmaster Arson]

im gonna jerk off to your asshole and pussy and bust big fat fucking ropes all over the ceiling of my gooncave

 

[Foxxo]

 

[Mister Uno]

In his head, he would be plenty good with his child bride at the Elk Kingdom where they can eat prime rib nightly until they get robbed.

 

[Snusmumriken]

I’m gonna sell dope to an undercover cop on purpose so I can get sent to the same jail as Chris then I’m gonna shank him in the showers. I will jerk off while watching the life drain out of his eyes and scream “JULAY!” as my semen mixes with his blood and circles down the drain

 

[Mr Bunny]

I only ever had one good conversation with a stripper that didn't seem fake.

 

[Haramburger]

thanks null, so should i wait to talk to an admin? i'm sure i can clear things up