random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Jack Awful]

Your asshole is a tube.

 

[beanbag in a hurry]

No vulva gape. It means swimming with security.

Spoiler: Vulva gape inside, do not open.

 

[Lucas Silva #4903141]

"I'm a 23 year old incel. That is the truth."
From that same post:
"Life just fucking sucks. I wish I was having sex with the hottest women, I wish I was impregnating women, but instead I'm bored as shit trolling on the internet."

 

[HONKY DESTROYER]

Also an old Tonkasaw quote "I'm not mad, I'M READY!!!"

 

[Snigger]

"I literally get fucked in the ass and I'm less than of a faggot than you" - Snigger, chat, the other day

 

[King Ethanol Liver Ralph]

I've been neglecting this thread for a bit but I want some more random quotes. Submit some favorites.

What I'm looking for:
- Couple sentences max.
- Is interesting out of context, optimally begs a question.
- Not a quote from me.
- Links to thread where it originates is a huge bonus.

Does not have to reference the Kiwi Farms.

"What they keep forgetting is that I'm a trained courtroom operator!"
- Ethan Ralph, about his many court cases

I'll add another Ralph quote I find hilarious:
"That looks like Josh Moon's penis."
- Ralph, watching a failed rocket launch

 

[Alex Krycek]

Okay this is just something a schizophrenic said to me in person recently, but I think you’ll enjoy it.

“Why can’t we just teach cats how to use guns? Or maybe mechanize cats. Train them to kill wetbacks and niggers.”

 

[JimmySneed]

When you start receiving death threats for changing a man's name on discord.com

 

[Sundae]

But then your dick will be gone, are you nuts?

A BOOK NIGGA, A FUCKING BOOK.

and just go to the dollar store and get Power Stick or some other bootleg shit. Shove aluminum foil in your armpits or something, science and shit.

As a child they don’t tell you that adulthood means always being tired and behind schedule.

Shit me out a sandwich from your meat and bread asshole.

You had colon polyps? Ew, how do you get those, from butt sex? You whore.

But yeah I think he probably took them home and made them into curry, I think most colon related stuff is considered a delicacy in India. Sorry man.

Put a second one up your ass, shove a needle and a string through it, when the first one comes you can shove it deeper to make your own horrible anal beads!

geoge brush did it? it was him the hole time? he melted the beam.

You’re coming on too strong. Play a little hard to get. Change your name to “putin doesn’t make me horny” and he’ll probably chase you around a little bit.

Twisting your weiner into a pale mockery of female genitalia

The cassowary consented, I swear!

 

[Officer Eradicate]

We are no longer going to cum for cancer.

 

[Puff]

This madness from the Russian invasion thread.

Degenerate porn animations can be a powerful substitute for political propaganda, if used correctly.

Wyświetl załącznik 3221828

I believe that coomers are supporting Ukraine more so than they would normally, due to the Pavlovian connection of the cartoon cat porn, and the Ukraine flag, subliminally entranced as they subconsciously think of the cartoon porn cat every time they see the flag.

You sound like an Ankha sympathizer. You might already be under the cartoon porn cat's sway.

 

[duckmysick]

"if I can go through Afghanistan and my ex-wife stabbing me, I can handle your autism meltdowns."

Written by Jessi Slaughter in her own thread page 59

 

[ComedyEnjoyer]

I've been neglecting this thread for a bit but I want some more random quotes. Submit some favorites.

What I'm looking for:
- Couple sentences max.
- Is interesting out of context, optimally begs a question.
- Not a quote from me.
- Links to thread where it originates is a huge bonus.

Does not have to reference the Kiwi Farms.

"This entire night was spent crying, eating morphine and manically posting on reddit"
From a tranner's story of botched srs.

 

[LolRaccoon]

"One for me and one for my hooker!" - Boogie1488

 

[Common Shadow]

"I have an unhealthy addition to Lummox." - WingsofRedemption

 

[Suikafag]

Been sitting on this one for ages but never been too sure if I should post since the thread was in PG. its in community watch now though so should be fine.

Get in the fucking Gangstalker Eva, Shinji.

From: Surveillance and Harassment Survivors Alliance​

 

[Kuchipatchi]

Certainly deserves a mention:

source

Can I please second this? That's a quote of the year!

 

[Cherryno]

One or more of these plz

 

[Goofy Logic]

"I don't dislike Ralph, but it may be time to sacrifice him to the corn" - Dear leader

 

[L50LasPak]