random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

It's not substance abuse if you love them all equally.

I'm sorry, did you say "raw" labels? Do the labels get cooked at some point? Would it be less absurd somehow if they seasoned the packing labels before eating them??

Germans brag about being able to drive as fast as they want in the middle of nowhere on the Audobahn and would cry at the sight of the average Dodge Charger doing 120 in the middle of Atlanta rush hour traffic.

This is one of those things you can keep watching and finding new details to focus on.
Charcoal fire lit in aluminum foil baking trays, balanced on top of burning 2x4's on a melting plastic table. Cooking the burgers on plastic coated cooling sheets. Using a wooden spatula. There's a grill brush on the table despite there being no grill in sight. The security guard wearing an empty plate carrier and Jordans. The fact that they're doing this in a retail parking lot in front of a liquor store.

God bless America. Happy belated 4th of July.

 

[The Nothingness]

Stockton Rush really was boomerism personified. If only he'd looked the laws of physics in the eye and given them a firm handshake.

 

[Mr. Hands]

DO NOT PUT ON THE CYRAXX MEDALLION!