Online Marketplaces / Online Sellers / Ebay / Etsy / GunBroker / Facebook Marketplace / Weird Online Listings - Delusional Sellers, and their Retarded Customers

[Among Us Gaming]

Introduction​

Anyone can buy and sell online these days, but since anyone can do it, a wide variety of lunacy, incompetence, and generally amusing listings and messages can be found.
Everyone who has ever used Facebook Marketplace knows of delusional sellers with sky high prices, and the constant "is this still available" ghosting in messages.
Anyone who has ever used Ebay or Etsy has experienced sellers that just throw an item in a box and send it, and customers that don't read a single word of the description.
Finally, anyone who has used Gunbroker has experienced buyers that have no idea how to make a purchase, and sellers that have no idea how to navigate firearms laws.
The online marketplace is a tragedy just as much as a comedy, and it seems worthwhile to compile the funniest and craziest elements here.

How we got here​

• Behold, the year is 1995, and the start of a complete revolution in private and commercial selling has begun. Ebay, for shipped goods and Craigslist for local goods and services have been introduced, with Amazon having started 1 year prior.
• 3 years later in 1999, a marketplace for firearms in the form of Gunbroker.com would arrive
• The Ebay competitor, Etsy in 2005 would come about
• Finally a Craigslist competitor in the form of Facebook Marketplace would arrive 11 years later in 2016.

With each of these sites arriving into the internet sphere, private and commercial selling was changed nearly overnight. Where once to sell goods you needed a storefront or set times and dates with payment up front to have a booth at the local flea market, or if you were particularly savvy, the ability to pay for a classified ad in a local or national magazine, now anyone could merely make an account with one of these websites, and start selling anything and everything they had to anywhere within the country, and eventually globally. Small businesses boomed, and many people developed small hobbies, eventually called "Side hustles," to sell their homemade or used goods. The ability to make and sell had been completely democratized to the masses. The corollary also applies; anyone could buy anything from anywhere. Where once collectors' markets were restricted to the select few that knew the right people and places, now, if it was up for sale, anyone of any stripe could go out and buy it. That 1 of 5 Shelby could just as easily be bought by Cleetus Smith of Martinsburg as it could be by Alexander Fawkes of Los Angeles.

Anyone Can Sell: How it's gone Poorly​

In the wise words of Osho, "Democracy basically means: Government by the people, of the people, for the people.... but the people are retarded." The democratized market has been largely positive, but anyone, means anyone, and that's what this thread is about. Delusional sellers, Idiotic customers, and incompetence of all kinds is prolific. So what are the hallmarks of this new age?
This includes, but is not limited to

• Incompetent buyers and sellers that have no idea how to use the website
• Delusional sellers that have their item priced way too high and will not negotiate
• Buyers that have a tantrum when you won't give them the price they want
• Sellers selling complete garbage
• Joke listings
• Typos everywhere
• Scalpers
• Dropshippers selling chinesium crap at steep prices
• Immense unprofessionalism and lack of social skills
• Scams, scams, and more scams
• Fetish fuel and thinly veiled prostitution

Some Choice Examples Below


Prolific Typos? Sure


People Selling dumb or worthless garbage? Absolutely!


Boomers being boomers? Why not.
Archive


Incompetent People that don't realize they're making a listing? Yup, got those too


Joke Listings? Plenty of those can be found as well
Archive


People making a "Joke" listing and definitely not hoping someone will buy it? Some of those are here too
Cheeto shaped like...
Chicken nugget shaped like among us




Scams? Oh yeah, lots and lots of Scams


Thinly Veiled Prostitution and or Fetish Fuel? Come and see
Used Smelly Gym Socks
More of the same, check "you may also like", there's a bunch of those


Things that are just plain weird? Have a look
This stuff is so strange
Who buys human teeth?



Plenty of genuinely dumb people too

 

[Breadbassket]

This is a pretty good starting point for a thread (perhaps add archived links to some of the more odd listings) but I have to wonder is paying $10 for a taped water bottle?

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

this could be a normal thread, but good OP.

 

[Among Us Gaming]

perhaps add archived links to some of the more odd listings

I'll try and get some. Some of these images are older, hence why theres no archive

 

[MrTroll]

Wish I could afford an authentic manlicker

 

[Jacknife]

Is this really a cow thread?
Seems more like a discussion with a topic.

It all seems very fleeting without a real community

 

[Most Wanted Banana]

There's a marketplace in my country with a prostitution section. You just make an ad and wait for the "clients".

I also remember seeing someone once selling their kidney to buy a PS5.

 

[Exterminate Leftists]

Thanks for posting, now I can read faceberg on the Farms. Again, thank you so very much for reminding me that boomers exist.

 

[Among Us Gaming]

Is this really a cow thread?

I had been thinking community watch since you find the same archetypes of people across all platforms, but you may be right

 

[obsdj]

It all seems very fleeting without a real community

Each of the big marketplaces is definitely its own distinct community, if this is intended to go under Community Watch. FB Marketplace, eBay, Etsy, NextDoor (ohhhhh, those psychotic fucks on NextDoor), etc.

Everyone who has ever used Facebook Marketplace knows of delusional sellers with sky high prices, and the constant "is this still available" ghosting in messages.

My favorite are the sellers who apparently don't realize that Facebook doesn't allow you to include your phone number in your listings, and always removes them. The listing will show something like "Call [information removed] if you're interested!" So you send a message via Messenger asking "Your phone number was removed by FB, if this is available, can you tell me XYZ about it" and you get a snotty reply, "Call the number in the posting moron, if you can't follow directions then I don't want to do business with you" or some shit, like asshole, your number was removed, nobody can call you.

 

[Relinquish]

Josh did a really funny segment about embarrassing reviews on Etsy store about adult pacifiers

I'm interested in seeing more of this content in this thread because this segment made me laugh so hard I was holding my stomach

 

[Barry Williams]

Josh did a really funny segment about embarrassing reviews on Etsy store about adult pacifiers
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xk3fo7hsX3EI'm interested in seeing more of this content in this thread because this segment made me laugh so hard I was holding my stomach

This too is one of my absolute most favorite MATI moments in recent history. The slow burn as Josh just gradually went deeper was incredible. One of those improvised things that just perfectly falls into place.

To any Kiwis who have not seen this clip, watch it.

 

[Hitchhiker]

With car listings on Facebook there's a pretty good amount of scams. I think the most common ones are Mexicans listing strangely low mileage cars for the condition they're in (turning back the mileage). There will also be dealerships selling cars under the name of the owner of the dealership or sales person and not listing that they are a dealership, so you'll think that you're dealing with an actual person.

 

[Abella]

there’s a lot of dumb people on facebook marketplace. I’ve been tempted to make a fake account to screencap some of the idiocy because it gets wild, especially when the marketplace listings go hand in hand with rants and raves group members.

 

[cryptidoof]

I appreciate how a whole 3 / 4 "joke" listings are Cheetos.


To keep the thread going,

Spoiler: ebay scammer experience

I bought a scam shirt off some guy on ebay a few months ago. A lot of rock memorabilia images are being stolen from Amazon, Mercari or tshiryslayer specifically (why some scam listings have "real" ""in hand"" photos), then dropship you a shitty print after the fact. I called the dude out, he fortunately gave me a refund. I never went back to change my star rating - ruining his 100% feedback score. Fuck you, you don't get a good rating for scamming my ass. Ebay user is here.
Many, many other such cases like these, dropshipping shirts.

Spoiler: real shirt

Real:

Spoiler: fake shirt

Fake:

Words can't express how shit this looks irl.

Edit: I later purchased an official shirt off of DragonForce's Amazon. Much easier!

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Found on Ebay while listing some old games, I like to think that some kid ragequit so hard they ripped the cartridge out of their Gameboy and gnawed on it, and having played this game myself I'd say that's totally understandable.

Good news is that it's tested, presumably for various pathogens!

 

[David Brown]

Found on Ebay while listing some old games, I like to think that some kid ragequit so hard they ripped the cartridge out of their Gameboy and gnawed on it, and having played this game myself I'd say that's totally understandable.

Good news is that it's tested, presumably for various pathogens!
Wyświetl załącznik 7656682

99 cents and 5 dollars shipping? Whose time is so worthless that they would spend the time shipping that piece of shit out for less than 6 dollars?

 

[cryptidoof]

99 cents and 5 dollars shipping? Whose time is so worthless that they would spend the time shipping that piece of shit out for less than 6 dollars?

Have to make a profit somehow.

 

[David Brown]

Have to make a profit somehow.

If that much is considered a profit I can't imagine the abject poverty of the person doing it. Shaking a tin cup would unironically be more profitable and probably just as dignified

 

[Migraine Box]

99 cents and 5 dollars shipping? Whose time is so worthless that they would spend the time shipping that piece of shit out for less than 6 dollars?

Shipping anything larger than a paper envelope genuinely starts around $5 minimum now. It's fucking insanity but it's not the seller's fault.

That's probably the funniest description I've ever seen of a frankenstein build. At least the seller's upfront about it lmfao