Official Kiwifarms Uplifting Each Other Thread - Support group for women

[Blue Flying Leaf]

I did tell her people make fun of people on SA and welfare and iirc she was like "it's because those people are jealous they can't stay on their ass all day and live from the government.

In a way it is true, but it more relates to the behavior of people seeing others beneath them and spilling their vitriol of them because somehow "they made it" and you can't. It's just an ego trip and a good warning to stay away from such personalities.

I don't want to live for the givenwmtn especially if my healthcare can't cover my primary doctor.

That is a good reason for improvement. However, some jobs won't give enough health benefits to even make it even.

I was taught at a younger age to be independent.

Nothing bad.

And I feel so trapped sometimes.

We in a way all do. I used to work to pay rent, food and fuel. There's really nothing better describing the situation than "suffering" when you are starting your career and employers know that and exploit it to the fullest.

The only other job I can do would be remote work.

Try it. There's really no cost associated to it other than your time and you can always quit if you don't like it anymore.
That said, just asking around places can get you a job. Life is silly like that and people like to help.
In your instance, I would put my thoughts on a piece of paper and store it. Helps to keep head empty - I don't have to think about it, I have it written.
Write down your goals, what you currently want, what are you planning for and so on. Being creative is always better than wallowing in indecision.
For job, create your cv and just use chatgpt to write an application. Send it to like 10 positions and forget/don't think about it. Most don't even reply. Take every response as a surprise you didn't plan for. My average stats are (eyeballing here) 100 applications 10 invites to interview 1 employment. Give or take a few.
If you are on unemployment, ask your worker for help and if they have some activities/classes to complete and you get certifications and so on. There are gov. assist programs that will let you keep your income as well as getting paid for activity.

 

[Red flag]

Saw this video and thought this thread could use a bump.

0:48

You all deserve the very best, queens.

 

[Nique la mere de Macron]

I don't know what to do. My ex husband's girlfriend apparently is shit-talking my daughters (and he has now all but abandoned them) and they want nothing to do with him, a decision that my sons made a few years ago. They are upset but insist that I not tell him that they know. Im so tired. I've been supporting everyone, including him until very recently, for years. Im not Superwoman.

 

[Bloo]

So, I’ve been single for over a year now. My last relationship somehow lasted 13 years, we should have ended it much sooner but we didn’t. I actually want to date again.

Everyone is warning me against using dating apps. I made an account out of interest and it hasn’t been a great experience so far. Most of the guys are gym bros, really not my type. I did match with some guys who seem fine but so far the conversations are “hey, how are you?” “I’m good, you?” “I’m good, wyd?” “Not much, you?” So many men have blank profiles so it’s not like I can ask them about their hobbies. I filled mine out but no one is bothering to ask me about mine.

I’m also an incredibly introverted person, I like a lot of alone time. It’s going to be difficult to find a guy who would be fine with that.

What do? I had no idea where else to post this here.

 

[JambledUpWords]

So, I’ve been single for over a year now. My last relationship somehow lasted 13 years, we should have ended it much sooner but we didn’t. I actually want to date again.

Everyone is warning me against using dating apps. I made an account out of interest and it hasn’t been a great experience so far. Most of the guys are gym bros, really not my type. I did match with some guys who seem fine but so far the conversations are “hey, how are you?” “I’m good, you?” “I’m good, wyd?” “Not much, you?” So many men have blank profiles so it’s not like I can ask them about their hobbies. I filled mine out but no one is bothering to ask me about mine.

I’m also an incredibly introverted person, I like a lot of alone time. It’s going to be difficult to find a guy who would be fine with that.

What do? I had no idea where else to post this here.

If you’re up for it, try and look for free/low cost community events that pertain to your interests. It won’t guarantee a relationship, but at the very least you’ll be with people that have similar hobbies.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I don't know what to do. My ex husband's girlfriend apparently is shit-talking my daughters (and he has now all but abandoned them) and they want nothing to do with him, a decision that my sons made a few years ago. They are upset but insist that I not tell him that they know. Im so tired. I've been supporting everyone, including him until very recently, for years. Im not Superwoman.

Very late reply, but I can relate. I am still playing Superwoman after 25 years because I have to (and bc I am stubborn and do not want to add to my kids' burden), so I don't have good advice for letting that drop.

I'm assuming from your comment that you don't trust him/ his judgment and that your relationship is at least sometimes contentious. Depending on how old your children are, you don't have to keep defending your ex or telling your children everything he does is OK or that they should work with it. You have to love and support them as they find their own way through a bad parent's bad behavior. But at some point they have to navigate their own way with him. Painful, frustrating, distressing, but doing anything else can damage them further.

If you know about the badmouthing independent of your kids, call him out on it. If you only know through them and they don't want you to reveal they shared it, figure out a plausible premise to have learned otherwise or make up that you observed something., and press him to make it stop. If you witness it personally, have a conversation with her - or again take it to him. If none of the above and they don't want to be around her/ him, you need to keep gathering info until you can confront him.

Or - if he is reasonably sane, tell him your girls seem reluctant to go there (subtlely pick a time since the gf came around) and you're concerned, then prod him to come up with a reason. "Lately the girls have been crying every night before going to see you. They haven't said anything specific, but I'm concerned, because this has only started in the last [X time that is since he got serious with the gf]. Everything is good here and school and with their friends, so I can't figure it out. Is everything there good? How are they when they're with you? Do you think you could chat with them about how they're doing?"

Yes, I'm advocating playing dumb and probing for information, and for making him feel like the problem-solver and that you're completely clueless. Then keep records of absolutely everything they say and do related to seeing him, every observation you have. Because if it comes to a head, you need every piece of evidence (item, date, time, how learned, etc.) to achieve the best outcome for your kids.

Do you have a window on the health of that relationship?

 

[LimeRikki]

love complimenting random women

Same! I love seeing how their faces light up when the compliment hits - why yes, Ma'am, your hair does in fact, look that good!

 

[Gef Mongoose]

My late night thought while I should be sleeping right now, is that I realized that in the next couple of years, I’ll be another decade older. I don’t view myself as that old, physically. But pondering the passing of time and myself being alive for this long is still a little anxiety producing for me.

It doesn’t help that I see women just a couple of years older than me, starting to freak out and pay hundreds of dollars for things that they acknowledge wouldn’t even be a problem for another 10 years, at the very least. Including women forcing themselves to sleep on their backs, because they might gain another face or chest wrinkle before 45!
It’s already difficult enough to live life; I just want to sleep on my side. I feel like my basic skincare routine for a woman my age is enough to age gracefully.

I’m not looking forward to growing older as a woman, and having more procedures and products pushed in my face to prevent possible signs of aging.

 

[NoReturn]

My late night thought while I should be sleeping right now, is that I realized that in the next couple of years, I’ll be another decade older. I don’t view myself as that old, physically. But pondering the passing of time and myself being alive for this long is still a little anxiety producing for me.

It doesn’t help that I see women just a couple of years older than me, starting to freak out and pay hundreds of dollars for things that they acknowledge wouldn’t even be a problem for another 10 years, at the very least. Including women forcing themselves to sleep on their backs, because they might gain another face or chest wrinkle before 45!
It’s already difficult enough to live life; I just want to sleep on my side. I feel like my basic skincare routine for a woman my age is enough to age gracefully.

I’m not looking forward to growing older as a woman, and having more procedures and products pushed in my face to prevent possible signs of aging.

We're going to age no matter what, it's not a sin and it's not a preventable disease. You're going to feel a lot better in 10 years if you prioritize your health, no matter how you look.
Also, drink water.

 

[Gef Mongoose]

We're going to age no matter what, it's not a sin and it's not a preventable disease. You're going to feel a lot better in 10 years if you prioritize your health, no matter how you look.
Also, drink water.

There were a lot of women pointing out that lack of sleep from forcing yourself to sleep in a certain position is unhealthy as well, so there was some voice of reason.

When my mom and grandma were aging, things like plastic surgery or Botox were known to be for celebrities and trophy wives. Now it’s being pushed on 23 year olds.

 

[Haunted Tamagotchi]

Same! I love seeing how their faces light up when the compliment hits - why yes, Ma'am, your hair does in fact, look that good!

This! I try and make a point of complimenting one other woman each time I head out. It’s nice to bring a little bit of joy to someone’s day. I was heavily bullied as a teen for being “weird” and constantly felt very low about my appearance, and as an adult if I get complimented by another woman in public it’s like a warm hug for teenage me, so I wanna give that same feeling back to others.

 

[Sonalee Rashitwar]

Stupid expat problem: I have no one to put as an emergency contact that actually lives where I do.

I do not want my ex to have any contact with me, because in the end I didn’t feel safe any more, nor do I trust my family of origin if I should actually have an emergency. I do trust others, but they are a 17 hour flight away from me as I have moved countries.

I don’t know why this makes me emotional, but I guess it drives home that I am alone.

 

[Gef Mongoose]

Hello, I’m back because 2025 has been the year of myself being a crybaby behind closed doors.

My Papa Mongoose died unexpectedly in July, and my family had a memorial service for him last month, where I was very emotional and trying to support my mom. I used my reserved bit of bravery for the year, to speak at his service.
Now my Mawmaw Mongoose has decided that she doesn’t want to use my Papa’s life insurance on burying him in his plot that he’s had since the 1960’s, and wants to place his urn in a moratorium in the closest VA cemetery. Which means that another service and 21 gun salute will occur, in honor of him. So I will be going through a rush of depressed emotions and crying over his death for a third time this year. I’m just ready to let it go mentally and emotionally.

Also, since he’s died and I’ve reflected on his life and his personality to people, and compared him to my other deceased Papa Mongoose, my family and friends have gently and kindly suggested to myself that I might have inherited autism from them.
I know that it’s a meme on this website and the internet in general, but looking back on how I acted as a child, I can see it. And what I have been diagnosed with as a teenager can be misconstrued.
I’m only hesitant to admit to it because I don’t want to play myself as a victim. And I feel like if I admit to it, I’ll be compared to the likes of the people that we talk about on here.
It’s nice to have a name to it. It’s just not really the one that I want to claim in modern day.

 

[WENDY DENG 2020]

My good friends father dropped dead at Dollar Tree 2 weeks ago tomorrow. Our other friend had her dad die in February and mom in July.

It is really starting to hit me realizing I am on borrowed time with my parents.

 

[Shocked and Horrified]

So glad to find the Girl Tawk area, and hope it isn't too late. The discourse on other threads is fun but sometimes a bit intimidating.

 

[Gef Mongoose]

Hello gorls
I need suggestions for Christmas gifts under $30 that would be absolutely terrible for the biggest dyke, black clothing, aggressive attitude lesbian that you can think of (she’s not fat, she doesn’t eat anything so she’s as thin as a rail).

Said lesbian is my younger sister, by a few years, and she’s treated me like shit whenever she has actually spoken to me, since early this month. I don’t want to make a complete aggressive move against her and not get her anything, but I want to send a point to her that I strongly dislike her right now.
I am a more feminine woman, but I can’t think of that much that she couldn’t find some use out of, like chapstick. And the less that I could spend on her, the better.
I’m also open to sending money to organizations in her name.

She ruined the tail end of my birthday dinner tonight by cursing me out in front of a table of children, and continued even after I asked her repeatedly to cut it out. It embarrassed me and pissed me off, and it isn’t a one time thing for her. And it was all over myself wanting to go to the grocery store closer to my house.

I appreciate your feminine advice on petty gifts for her.

 

[The Jewel of the Nile]

I appreciate your feminine advice on petty gifts for her.

Simple

 

[Shocked and Horrified]

I appreciate your feminine advice on petty gifts for her.

Super absorbent tampons (the kind that cause toxic shock syndrome) for those who act like they're constantly on the rag, and non-winner scratch off lottery tickets for those who feel the world owes them are fun. You can have the cashier run the scratch off through the machine without actually ruining the silver stuff. That way she can be as disappointed as she is disappointing as a sister. Hemorrhoid cream, athlete's foot cream, and yeast infection cream all come in similar tubes (I worked at Walmart one Christmas). You can remove the label from the tubes and play mix-up. Surprise! If they don't peel off, use a blade. Who cares if they leak in the boxes?

I am a black-hearted witch and will continue to think about suggestions. I'm sorry you have to deal with such a turd.

 

[Premium Gonzo]

Hello gorls
I need suggestions for Christmas gifts under $30 that would be absolutely terrible for the biggest dyke, black clothing, aggressive attitude lesbian that you can think of (she’s not fat, she doesn’t eat anything so she’s as thin as a rail).

Said lesbian is my younger sister, by a few years, and she’s treated me like shit whenever she has actually spoken to me, since early this month. I don’t want to make a complete aggressive move against her and not get her anything, but I want to send a point to her that I strongly dislike her right now.
I am a more feminine woman, but I can’t think of that much that she couldn’t find some use out of, like chapstick. And the less that I could spend on her, the better.
I’m also open to sending money to organizations in her name.

She ruined the tail end of my birthday dinner tonight by cursing me out in front of a table of children, and continued even after I asked her repeatedly to cut it out. It embarrassed me and pissed me off, and it isn’t a one time thing for her. And it was all over myself wanting to go to the grocery store closer to my house.

I appreciate your feminine advice on petty gifts for her.

I always enjoyed going to the chemist and buying the shittiest, nastiest smelling perfume i could find. Especially around Christmas time theres plenty of gross cheapo perfumes under $10 and a random box of shit, go to the dollar store and find everything she hates. Or if you have time Temu to really rustle her jimmies.

I do this for every forced secret santa at work, last year i managed to find a square foot of astro turf for fuck all and placed it nicely in a big box wrapped it beautifully. The look on the woman's face when she smugly got her gift out of the pile was priceless.


You can be petty for pretty cheap especially if you do custom stickers or birthday card of Temu.

 

[Shocked and Horrified]

Obviously preteen-aimed cosmetic sets with the pricetag removed and no receipt are cheap, worthless, and (occasionally) toxic, just like she sounds to be. Using a hot glue gun to affix the wrapping paper is a nice touch. There are sparkly glue sticks, so you can just write her name across the package. I'm assuming I'm not the only one here who has a glue gun. (TMI, I'm a nerd.)

Any pre-owned and watched VHS around? "Saw this and thought of you," on a Jane Fonda exercise tape would be ever-so thoughtful. A comedy classic like one of the Pink Panther series would be great. Benny Hill would be better. James Bond seducing every woman is sure to please.