Official Kiwifarms Turn-On List - Describe your ideal man here (women only).

[SoberHeart]

how many victims do you have in your harem eh?

All of my sexual partners have been of age, alive, cisgendered, consenting, and non-related to me since I turned 18 how many some years ago.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Could you find a man with a beard and shave him?

Lol I actually did this in lockdown, my boyfriend and I were cutting each other's hair and the guard fell off the clippers when he was cutting mine, so he let me get my revenge on him so we matched. I don't think he liked it as much as I did though, and it wasn't worth having a rash all over my head while it grew back. I have woolly Irish hair so it's a bastard for ingrowns, I can't have it shorter than a #1 without needing that alcohol spray stuff that barbers use and idk where to even get that. To say nothing of the sunburn on the rare occasion we got outside, I have pasty celtic skin so that was especially grim.

 

[Fat and Balding]

What if you're someone's type because they have a feeder fetish?

Fetish experts can correct me but I don't think having a fetish means that you indiscriminately like anyone who can fulfill your particular fetish. Meaning, the fat man fits the baseline requirement but still has to be attractive to the fetishist.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Fetish experts can correct me but I don't think having a fetish means that you indiscriminately like anyone who can fulfill your particular fetish. Meaning, the fat man fits the baseline requirement but still has to be attractive to the fetishist.

Who's that in your avatar?

 

[Fat and Balding]

Who's that in your avatar?

My sweet prince (though he prefers "captive"). Do NOT make fun of me.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

My sweet prince (though he prefers "captive"). Do NOT make fun of me.

I see we have similar tastes

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Following the Hambly meltdown and now Rex Jones is my new crush. I mentioned his dad in the "which lolcow would you unironically sex?" thread but now Alex is post-wall I'll take Junior.

 

[toe_schnitzel6969]

When he invites you over to his house and takes you to his bedroom... And he sleeps in a race car-shaped bed ... There's nothing else like it...

 

[DootSkeleton]

If the bar is truly this low for men then I invite you to the OTP shipping thread/Bingo thread. It just might give you hope. If nothing else you might find it amusing to read how high (and low) the standards are for some of your fellow Kiwis.

Spoiler: Bingo examples

the default card


the recently introduced autistic detail card

 

[SoberHeart]

F

If the bar is truly this low for men then I invite you to the OTP shipping thread/Bingo thread. It just might give you hope. If nothing else you might find it amusing to read how high (and low) the standards are for some of your fellow Kiwis.

Spoiler: Bingo examples

the default card
Wyświetl załącznik 8839144

the recently introduced autistic detail card
Wyświetl załącznik 8839145

my name is doot nigger and i'm gay and retarded and didn't post the template for some reason

 

[DootSkeleton]

F

my name is doot nigger and i'm gay and retarded and didn't post the template for some reason

the default bingo card is literally in the OP, but here they are:

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

When he invites you over to his house and takes you to his bedroom... And he sleeps in a race car-shaped bed ... There's nothing else like it...

She wants the (Initial) D

 

[queens of the stone age]

i have no metric to it, but good lord can the right man’s voice woo me over. baritone, speaking from the sternum but laughing from the throat, steady pitch yet not monotonous, tinge of vocal fry when speaking quietly, oooh wow. i can provide embarrassing examples if need be. i do not process sound like a normal person

 

[Otterly]

i have no metric to it, but good lord can the right man’s voice woo me over. baritone, speaking from the sternum but laughing from the throat, steady pitch yet not monotonous, tinge of vocal fry when speaking quietly, oooh wow. i can provide embarrassing examples if need be. i do not process sound like a normal person

A million times yes. The kind of voice that sets up a resonance in your ribcage. Yes, I get it.

Sound is underrated as something that affects emotion. I swear one of the beneficial things about gigs is having your sternum rattled by mid frequencies. Makes you feel high

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

I think this is the entire reason women fancy weird monster characters, they have good voice actors. At least that's the only reason I liked Garrus in Mass Effect, he's got a beautiful sexy voice.

 

[fist_of_khonshu]

I think this is the entire reason women fancy weird monster characters, they have good voice actors. At least that's the only reason I liked Garrus in Mass Effect, he's got a beautiful sexy voice.

And there's also the fetish aspect of being desired by something otherworldly or incomprehensible

 

[Sooty Soot]

I get off to videos of whiteboi beatdowns.

 

[Tutu]

One thing you cannot go wrong with if you want to turn me on is being antisemitic. I am extremely attracted to men who have a deep-seated hatred of kikes. The more he knows about the JQ, the hotter.

 

[long waters]

One thing you cannot go wrong with if you want to turn me on is being antisemitic. I am extremely attracted to men who have a deep-seated hatred of kikes. The more he knows about the JQ, the hotter.

Oh, lady, I know just the guy for you! There's this fella called @Forsaken Wanderer, only problem is, he's banned from here... But true love always finds a way, I'm sure you can find a way to reach out to him!

 

[Anime Waifu NFT collector]

BEEG BAZONGAS!