Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

This sounds made up.

Every Roman house had a Lalarium, a shrine, for the daily rites of worship of the household spirits which were themselves a deified form of their own dead ancestors, even demons (lemurs, larvae) were ancestor spirits not properly appeased, they had a yearly festival called Lemuria just for them. Romans even had the tradition of preserving the death masks and busts of their Male ancestors that were a status symbol and part of the domestic venerations.

Plus the pater familias was effectively the main priest of the household, all of the ceremonies and rituals of the house done for the Lares , manes and such spirits had to go through the father unless he delegated some of them. "Fuck you dad" meant: no blessings from the spirits for you, good day xe/xir.

 

[Protistology]

Every Roman house had a Lalarium, a shrine, for the daily rites of worship of the household spirits which were themselves a deified form of their own dead ancestors, even demons (lemurs, larvae) were ancestor spirits not properly appeased, they had a yearly festival called Lemuria just for them. Romans even had the tradition of preserving the death masks and busts of their Male ancestors that were a status symbol and part of the domestic venerations.

Plus the pater familias was effectively the main priest of the household, all of the ceremonies and rituals of the house done for the Lares , manes and such spirits had to go through the father unless he delegated some of them. "Fuck you dad" meant: no blessings from the spirits for you, good day xe/xir.

Wyświetl załącznik 8323518
Wyświetl załącznik 8323517
Wyświetl załącznik 8323535

In a Roman funerals, at least for the Patricians, the family would hire actors to dress up as their ancestors with masks and give short bios bragging about how great they (and thus the family) were and how they're welcoming the newcomer into their midst in heaven. The deification of emperors ran on a similar logic.

Many people don't have the idea that Romans were religious. But they were extremely pious and extremely devout. It was considered one of the great Roman virtues and Livy hammers on this point over and over again, bad things happen when Romans disrespect the gods and that bad thing is fixed when they start respecting the gods again.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

I always thought this shit was just pretty harmless BS that teen girls got into on Tumblr, but I've just met a mother who is raising her kids pagan. Craziest thing is she is the daughter of a preacher. I'm thinking that since this shit got big in the 90s we are only just now seeing some kids come out of pagan based relationships.

I'm really curious to see what teen angst and rebellion looks like in pagan families TBH.

The line these nigga Have you been living under a rock? I was raised by a Pagan. I'm not kidding, she would literally say. Oh my God. New Age nonsense has been popular with alternative freakazoid parents. Since the 60s.

 

[parody]

Every Roman house had a Lalarium, a shrine, for the daily rites of worship of the household spirits which were themselves a deified form of their own dead ancestors, even demons (lemurs, larvae) were ancestor spirits not properly appeased, they had a yearly festival called Lemuria just for them. Romans even had the tradition of preserving the death masks and busts of their Male ancestors that were a status symbol and part of the domestic venerations.

You're doing the thing right now. You're citing a Roman practice and conflating it with a made-up universal 'pagan' religion that your sources don't describe. Ancestor veneration isn't a uniquely Roman or pagan trait, almost every religion contains elements of ancestor rites and veneration, so pointing to it in a specifically Roman practice doesn't establish any of the moral claims you're making. This doesn't tell us anything about the social norms of pagan society. There's no evidence that manes, lemuria, lares, etc amounted to any uniform, enforceable code where family conflict was considered sacrilegious (if it did then maybe paganism would've lasted longer). Paganism was never centralized, doctrinal, or consistent enough as a whole to support that kind of conclusion.

Plus the pater familias was effectively the main priest of the household

This is also not a uniquely Roman or pagan trait, and is a universal feature of pretty much every major religion to this day.

What's most frustrating is that self-proclaimed neopagans piously act as though they're "honoring their ancestors" when in practice they are doing exactly the opposite by anachronistically reframing an entire ancient culture to fit into their own modern ideological concerns. Many of them don't even literally believe in their own gods, and will bend over backwards to make their 'religion' fit into a secular paradigm while insisting they aren't just spicy atheists.

Spoiler: Side Note

The purpose of this thread is to laugh at spergy pagans, be they leftwing wicca witches hexing the heckin' patriarchy or rightwing viking larpers. I don't want to make assumptions about you based on two comments, but if you're here to defend neopaganism or debate the veracity of it then you're probably in the wrong thread to do so and I would humbly encourage you find one of the many "debate religion" threads instead.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

but if you're here to defend neopaganism or debate the veracity of it

You are retarded and missed the whole point. I am not defending neo pagans. I am mocking them precisely for thinking they are being rebellious when everything they are rebelling against like family and patriarchy is also highly present in pagan societies. Even more so than whatever they experienced growing up in the modern world in a milquetoast christian household.

 

[parody]

You are retarded and missed the whole point. I am not defending neo pagans. I am mocking them precisely for thinking they are being rebellious when everything they are rebelling against like family and patriarchy is also highly present in pagan societies. Even more so than whatever they experienced growing up in the modern world in a milquetoast christian household.

I think we're talking about two different types of neopagans. This actually illustrates the problem I was talking about earlier pretty well. You’re mocking one modern projection onto “paganism” (edgy anti-family feminists), and I’m critiquing a different one (heathen larpers). Both of these groups are extremely gay, but the fact that “paganism” keeps meaning whatever one wants it to mean in the moment is precisely what causes this shit.

Fuck you or something I guess?

 

[Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)]

Neopagans always come out of the woodwork at this time of year to come up with discredited theories about Christmas having been "stolen" from their ancestors.

Recently I learned that the descendents of people persecuted in the witch trials of colonial America have their own organization. It's an exact copy of the Mayflower Society or Daughters of the American Revolution except without the DAR volunteer work. I feel this is a deeply Current Year thing to exist: I'm proud of how my ancestors were victimized for something they didn't even do.

They meet once a year and introduce themselves.

 

[Argos]

I made the mistake of scrolling Facebook out if boredom and saw a slow of empaths.

Every person calling themselves an empath has been a pretentious git with delusions of superiority.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

I made the mistake of scrolling Facebook out if boredom and saw a slow of empaths.

Every person calling themselves an empath has been a pretentious git with delusions of superiority.

They all want to feel superior to everyone else so they latch onto things that make them look good.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

I made the mistake of scrolling Facebook out if boredom and saw a slow of empaths.

Every person calling themselves an empath has been a pretentious git with delusions of superiority.

 

[There She Glows]

 

[Agarathium1066]

Wyświetl załącznik 8400624

I think having "headmates" that you call gods goes well beyond boilerplate autism. We're reaching levels of autism that require a padded room and heavy sedatives.

 

[Battlefield2142EU]

The Vinlander is proof metal heads deserve a community watch thread if no one made one yet. Heavy metal exemplifies that, regardless of political orientation—be it left-wing or right-wing—metal enthusiasts are losers. I find it amusing that some hard-right individuals claim that heavy metal is ideologically grounded, considering that the genre's origins frequently involve elements such as anti-Christian sentiments, while historically demonstrating documented support for Judaism, paganism, and even Islam. Furthermore, many of the genre's founders are of Jewish descent. The persistent promotion of open relationships and the glorification of drug use are also notable aspects within the metal community. In this context, heavy metal may be viewed as politically aligned in a manner comparable to punk, which is arguably more right-wing in certain respects, given that its origins involved challenging the values of parents who were fans of The Beatles. But only the OG punks.

 

[parody]

In the wake of the Epstein files tying him to /pol/ talking points and Baal worship, our esteemed representatives of the neopagan community have taken the podium to defend Baal.

 

[Grotesquependulum]

Wyświetl załącznik 8558122

Does Adam green have views that mirror the popular consensus of neopagans he's politically aligned with? He's basically a caricature of a pol user that grew out of atheism and I don't think I've ever seen him say anything profound even when I gave him the benefit of the doubt that his views weren't just seething about Christianity.

 

[parody]

Does Adam green have views that mirror the popular consensus of neopagans he's politically aligned with? He's basically a caricature of a pol user that grew out of atheism and I don't think I've ever seen him say anything profound even when I gave him the benefit of the doubt that his views weren't just seething about Christianity.

That's the thing about neopagans. They'll all make wildly contradictory and inane claims, but none of them hold each other accountable as long as they're united in their campaign against Christianity. That's their only consensus. I gave Adam a shot at one point and personally I've only ever seen him talk about Christianity, he's very illusive about what he actually believes (this is intentional). Neopagans don't even seem to care if he isnt a neopagan himself, despite his very intentional courting of their audience.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

I think having "headmates" that you call gods goes well beyond boilerplate autism. We're reaching levels of autism that require a padded room and heavy sedatives.

I think we can move on from "Autism" to Schizophrenia and DID now, but the real disease, not the tumblr idea of it.

ssstik.io_1725205498651.mp4

Sorry for the necro but this has to be satire. There's no way, it's too good. The ridiculous quotes, the angry voice, the calling out family members who watch her videos too. Please don't be satire.

Because you are specifically going against my own free will

Bit of a freudian slip there?

 

[Dan of Steel]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=IrXBXFvkMJEhttps://youtube.com/watch?v=f5QS5a1RZZohttps://youtube.com/watch?v=_S_acX4yS6Qhttps://youtube.com/watch?v=KY3hW6dfn0khttps://youtube.com/watch?v=Ha9bQceMGMshttps://youtube.com/watch?v=Kzzo1FPM3tUWyświetl załącznik 8418415 Wyświetl załącznik 8418419
The Vinlander is proof metal heads deserve a community watch thread if no one made one yet. Heavy metal exemplifies that, regardless of political orientation—be it left-wing or right-wing—metal enthusiasts are losers. I find it amusing that some hard-right individuals claim that heavy metal is ideologically grounded, considering that the genre's origins frequently involve elements such as anti-Christian sentiments, while historically demonstrating documented support for Judaism, paganism, and even Islam. Furthermore, many of the genre's founders are of Jewish descent. The persistent promotion of open relationships and the glorification of drug use are also notable aspects within the metal community. In this context, heavy metal may be viewed as politically aligned in a manner comparable to punk, which is arguably more right-wing in certain respects, given that its origins involved challenging the values of parents who were fans of The Beatles. But only the OG punks.

I know this post is from several months ago/this thread hasn't been had any new posts in a while but I was directed to here from another thread and now here we are. I think I have a perspective worth sharing as 1. metal is what got me to look deeper into music as a while beyond stuff you would hear on the radio and so I became a "metalhead" the more I dug and got into various subgenres like black metal, death metal, sludge, etc. And 2. I am also a follower of Christ. To me the appeal of metal music is the visceral nature of it. It's fucking loud. The guitars are thick and heavily distorted, and the rhythms thump through your chest. In short, it's music that's fun, that's all. The "philosophy" of metal was largely invented by cringelords like Prozak of ANUS/Death Metal Underground infamy. The idea that metal is inherently nihilistic and that this is some great enlightening philosophy. That I will agree is very gay and lame. Most metal musicians don't take the lyrics they write that seriously, they're mostly tongue-in-cheek to fit the overall "evil" and heavy sounding vibe of the music. And more metalheads/metal musicians than you would think actually are Christian as well.

Also I disagree that the founders of metal were Jewish. AFAIK, Black Sabbath, largely agreed to be the progenitors and the origin point for the genre even though other bands in hard rock had been playing around with ideas that would be recognized as metal, mostly came from Catholic or some kind of Christian background. Like Tony Iommi and Ronnie James Dio, so I'm not really sure where the Jews fit into this although there of course are Jewish metal musicians.

And I disagree with punk being rightwing, unless you think vague anarchic ideas and just wanting to piss of baby boomers is inherently rightwing, but I digress.

 

[Harm]

Also I disagree that the founders of metal were Jewish. AFAIK, Black Sabbath, largely agreed to be the progenitors and the origin point for the genre even though other bands in hard rock had been playing around with ideas that would be recognized as metal, mostly came from Catholic or some kind of Christian background.

Yeah, the only Jew I can think of who was associated with early metal was the frontman of Blue Oyster Cult, and I really don't think Blue Oyster Cult influenced metal to support Judaism, whatever the fuck that even means.