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California Sues The State of New Jersey Over Genetically Modified Spud Currently Rampaging in Oakland
 
Gangrenous Gophertoothed Lard Gollum Spurts Ginger-Scented AIDS Blood Out Of His Prolapsed Anus After Groping Wheelchair-Bound Former Marine At Local Whole Foods, And President Trump Is Ordering The Immediate Napalming Of The City Of Oakland As A Result.
 
Swedish, Anorexic Has-Been Pop Star Leads a Nationwide Protest Against French Fries Despite Having a Potato Fetish
 
Phil Finally Reads The Whole Wikipedia Article About Communism, Calls It His Greatest Achievement.
 
Aids Testicle Fat Ugly BDSM Communist Potato Boy With a Shitton of Tattoos who Can't Ride Bikes and Lives On The Streets is Unsurprisingly Awful as a Person. More News at 11.
 
Phruitbowl Phil and Ghost: Political Spergfight of the Century, Communism vs Capitalism
 
Mockery of the Human Form Caught Fabricating Medical File, Used Dying Child as Baseline
 
Obese, retarded potato, thrown off Greyhound when other riders complain about his smell
 
Phil Finally gets a Bike, complains about bike being stolen.
 
Biggest Argument for Abortions Squeaks in Fury as Literally No One Likes its Posts
 
Weird Erotic Asphyxia Gone Wrong, Freak Accident Or Cold Blooded Murder: Police Finds Riddled With STDs And Covered With Obscene Tattoos Dead Hobo Under Local Bridge With A Cheese Block Stuck Deep In His Mouth.
 
Handcuffed Parasite Riddled Corpse Found Behind Whole Foods Dumpster, Portland Police Baffled Upon Discovery
 
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