Legend of the Mythic Warrior: Pilot Epic 1 - Cat Robot (a CWCki Forums fan comic)

[Le Bateleur]

Thanks to a generous and brave Kiwiforummer we have glimpsed inside the pages of Myth of the Legendary Warrior by Jay "the Golden Knight" Geis - a comic which is objectively far worse than Sonichu. Jay draws, writes, and plots far worse than Chris, and he combines his dearth of talent with the very smallest amount of effort. As bad as CWC's opus got, it never featured a five-year-old Mary Sue who is explicitly described by the author as a sadist and foot fetishist.

Anyhow, the first issue of the comic features a little white cat getting somehow adopted by Jay's Mary Sue OC, before being brutally decapitated a few panels later by the villain.

Spoiler: poor(ly drawn) cat

The comic's hero responds to this scene by saying "I'm not gonna get hung up on some stupid cat" and the whole thing is never mentioned again in the rest of the comic's epic 16 page length.

I'm not prepared to accept that bloody decapitation and Jay's indifference is how it ends for the cat. This is the internet, dammit, and by Blossom we love cats here.

I propose we use our collective Great Director Kiwiforums Powers to right this wrong.

Who would be up for a collaborative 16 page comic to give this story a happy ending? I've got a basic plot and dialogue; contributing artists would take a page each and interpret these visually in whatever style they wished.
This isn't a trolling plan, btw - we've established that Jay's not going to come to the FastPacedCWCkiForums and read it.

Just that there's a whole load of talented artists who post in this thread, and I think the end result will be a laugh.

If you'd be interested in this, please reply to that effect below. The briefest of glances at Jay's work should confirm that any level of artistic talent will be enough to surpass his "art". Just to reinforce this, here's something he created without the benefit of Adobe Illustrator.

Spoiler: a 19-year-old man who has since graduated college did this and thought it was good

 

[SparksterSanjulo]

I didn't reply in the other thread to this but I'm totally down for doing something like this. I've been wanting to partake in more creative projects anyway.

 

[schiessen]

I'm down for this as well. You need to see any of our art or are you just going to leave it up to us? I've needed some artistic inspiration lately and i'm way more excited to do this then I should be

 

[ASoulMan]

I've been thinking about drawing again, so I might consider doing this or at least make better interpretations of the characters.

 

[Le Bateleur]

I didn't reply in the other thread to this but I'm totally down for doing something like this. I've been wanting to partake in more creative projects anyway.

Welcome aboard!

I'm down for this as well. You need to see any of our art or are you just going to leave it up to us? I've needed some artistic inspiration lately and i'm way more excited to do this then I should be

I'm going to leave it up to you. The Sonichu fan-jam comic had a very relaxed attitude to art style and I really like the end result.

I've been thinking about drawing again, so I might consider doing this or at least make better interpretations of the characters.

Thank you for your consideration

 

[teheviltwin]

Sounds like a highly productive use of my arting time.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Preamble

I'm very encouraged by the response so far

This is going to be epic and awesome, I hope.

I think this thing is small enough that we don't need to draw lots for the pages as happened with the Sonichu Fan Jams. Also I hopefully wrote fewer dud pages than Chris...

Below I've set out the essential action to happen on each page, any required dialogue, and I've sketched out the four main characters. Within these rough guidelines, please feel free to use whatever media, art style or approach that you so desire. Where I've specified things that get said but not used direct quotes ("this is me using direct quotes") then I'm happy for you to write the dialogue yourself so long as you cover the points I've laid down. Stuff in 'single quotes' is merely a suggestion. Where no dialogue is specified, for instance in the 'training montage' pages, please feel free to add some if you want.

Essentially, as long as you don't do anything which is going to make the transition to the next page too jarring, be bold and do it. If you have any doubts, feel free to ask me.

How to Take Part

What I'm going to propose is that everyone who's going to participate posts below (or PMs me if preferred) and lists in descending order of preference which pages they'd like to do. Also could you please indicate the maximum number of pages you'd be happy to do.

I'll then apportion out the pages in a way that hopefully means everyone gets what they want, or at least gets one of their top two/three choices. If there's any pages that are overwhelmingly popular then I'll pull out my trusty d6 and pick an artist at random. If any pages are getting no love at all I'll shamelessly push them on you all until someone relents.

If there's a change you'd like to make to the page you'd get, or you have a great idea for the story overall - let me know. Very happy to talk about things. Same if anything is unclear, or if you'd like more of a steer on a particular page from me - ask me and you shall receive.

The Rules

• Follow the guidelines for your page
• If you need help/advice, ask
• If in any doubt, think "what would the Golden Knight do?" and then do the opposite.
• Have fun

The Pages

Spoiler

Front Cover

Title: Legend of the Mythic Warrior - Pilot Epic 1: Cat Robot

A parody of the infamous "Zap to the Extreme" cover from Sonichu #0. Kitty Chandler, a strong, beautiful, independent woman with nice makeup and visible tattoos is proudly sending RoboCat out into the world to fight smug OP Mary Sues.

Dialogue:

Kitty Chandler: "Go RoboCat! Go out and cat to the extreme!"
RoboCat: "Thank you Mother, I will!"

Page 1: Character Sheet

A character sheet showcasing RoboCat and filling in as many inane details as you see fit. Possibility of referencing that this is a filler page in a 16-page comic.

Page 2: Origin story

RoboCat opens its eyes, shocked at not being dead. It is in a laboratory where a team of scientists are putting the finishing touches on its cybernetic body.

Page 3: Exposition

Kitty Chandler explains to RoboCat about the accidental beheading by Guardian of Color, and that her scientists have rebuild RoboCat's body. RoboCat has a Sonichu-style "and now I can talk!" realisation.

Page 4: Exposition some more

Kitty describes briefly how their world is blighted by moronic, overpowered Mary Sue OCs. She says that RoboCat's body is a free gift, if it wants to join the fight, it can - if not, it's free to leave with her blessing. RoboCat commits to the cause with no hesitation.

Page 5: Training montage 1

RoboCat tests out the non-weaponry elements of its robot body - booster rockets, shields, anything that would make this interesting/fun to draw.
Page 6: Training montage 2

More testing by RoboCat - this time focusing on the advanced weapons of its new robot body. RoboCat is very careful to never allow collateral damage.

Page 7: Meanwhile, at the Copywright-Werckarround residence

White Guardian and Guardian of Color and squabbling using their respective suits of power armour. GoC uses his gravity power to make WG hit himself. WG uses his nuclear sword to melt GoC's toy car collection. GoC gives WG a gravity-beam wedgie, and WG screams for their mother.

Page 8: parental intervention

The Guardians' out-of-touch parents tell the boys to stop arguing in the house, and send them upstairs to the games room/cinema/sweet shop to think about what they did. Once the kids are gone, the parents argue with each other. The father questions the sanity of giving power armour to children so young, and voices his fear that he might get hit in the crotch by a radiation blast and left with a four-inch pickle. The mother retorts that power armour is the only way to keep her special little guy and his brother safe from bullies and trolls.

Page 9: White Guardian the troll

White Guardian is at his computer. He laughs to himself as he finishes uploading "My Brother Smells Poopy: The Comic" to ArtfulDeviant .com. The next day the boys are walking to school, and a gang of their classmates - having read the webcomic - point at Guardian of Color and chant that he smells. He is saddened by this, White Guardian is gleeful.

Page 10: confrontation

Kitty Chandler (as Lovely Weather) and RoboCat arrive, their dramatic entrance silencing the crowd. Lovely Weather tells them that the webcomic is mean and poorly-made, and that White Guardian is a bully who shouldn't be trusted with nuclear superpowers. The crowd of children declare that Lovely Weather has a point and is pretty. White Guardian screams that she is not pretty because she has nail varnish and tattoos. In a fit of anger, he launches a nuclear missile into the air toward a nearby nature reserve.

Page 11: heroic battle part 1

Lovely Weather and Guardian of Color race to intercept the missile, leaving RoboCat to face down White Guardian. WG draws his knockoff lightsabre, but RoboCat uses its built-in modem to email George Lucas. Jar-Jar Binks dressed as a lawyer uses his tongue to grab the lightsabre and C-3PO (also dressed as a lawyer) snaps it in half, threateningly.

Page 12: heroic battle part 2

White Guardian is enraged at this intervention. He casts a Private Chatroom around himself and RoboCat so they can fight undisturbed. RoboCat readies an attack, but White Guardian blasts him with knockoff Force Lightning, laughing evilly as RoboCat's cybernetic systems are ravaged by the evil electricity. WG moves in for the kill, ripping off lines from Emperor Palpatine's 'only now, at the end, do you understand' speech from Return of the Jedi.

Page 13: the Ancient Power of Cats

Close to defeat and delirious from the ordeal, RoboCat sees visions of other famous cats from memes and cartoons. Up to the artist which ones/how many. At least one, though, or this won't make sense.

One of these cats speaks to him, and tells him to use the ancient power of cats, which has always been in his heart. RoboCat replies that he doesn't have a heart.

Vision!Cat turns this into something trite like 'sometimes those of us without a heart have the biggest hearts of all'.

RoboCat replies that he's trying, but it's so hard to keep trying. Vision!Cat tells him that if you never try when things get hard, you end up like White Guardian. He tells RoboCat that he's proud of him, but that he needs to use the Ancient Power of Cats.

RoboCat has an epiphany. The Ancient Power of Cats - causing mayhem then walking away like you did nothing at all - will make him the greatest Mary Sue defeater the world has ever seen. He summons up all his strength.

"Cat-ye-ha-me-"

Page 14: great justice

"NYAAAAAAAAAAA!"

With an epic spirit roar, RoboCat launches a bolt of pure feline qi at White Guardian. White Guardian simultaneously wets and soils himself, in a manner reminiscent of Naitsirhc getting hit with his own attack in CWC Defense. The Private Chatroom shield vanishes, and all WG's classmates see and laugh at his embarrassment.

Page 15: the aftermath

Two Jerkops and a doctor bring White Guardian back home. They explain what happened to his parents, and add that the power armour had to be incinerated as a biohazard after WG's accident. The doctor says that this kind of explosive incontinence is a symptom of a diet lacking in fruit and vegetables, and WG's parents promise to make him eat five portions a day from now on. WG's face is a picture of misery and impotent rage.

Lovely Weather thanks Guardian of Color for his help in diverting the nuclear warhead out into space and saving all the animals. She says she'll have to take his power armour for now, but if he wants to join the Mary Sue Squashing Squad once he turns 18, a resized suit will be waiting for him along with all the advanced modifications he wants.
Page 16: the conclusion

Kitty Chandler and RoboCat stand on a hilltop, looking over the town. They are silhouetted. Kitty thanks RoboCat for his help, but warns that the battle against the OC horde is only just beginning. RoboCat says something poetic or philosophical.

Back cover

Either a parody of one of Jay's comics' last pages, a fake advert, or something else.

Characters, including notes to the artists

Spoiler

The protagonists for this story will be:

The Cat

Desperate to escape from his new "adoptive owner" Fey, the cat made a mad dash toward the most responsible-looking person it could see, who turned out to be Fey's brother Julayan in his form as misunderstood superhero Guardian of Color. Tragically, Guardian of Color activated his death lazors at just the wrong moment and the Cat ended up getting beheaded. As fate would have it, the Cat's tragic accident was witnessed by the eccentric millionaire (and secret superhero) Kitty Chandler, who used her advanced technology to keep the Cat's head alive and attach it to a rebuilt cybernetic body to create RoboCat - a powerful new agent in the secret war against OP Mary Sue characters. In the course of the story, the Cat learns of the power of its cat ancestry.

Appearance

RoboCat's head and face should ideally use Jay's depiction in the panel I've included in the first post of this thread. RoboCat's body is a super-advanced robot prototype, so basically anything goes here - rocket boosters, chainsaws, lasers, dual-wielded Deagles - go for it. Fur is optional. Although RoboCat's head is technically organic, stuff like laser eyes, or firing rockets out if its mouth are cool, too.

Kitty Chandler

Kitty is the billionaire head of CWCorp, makers of everything from CWC Cola to CWC surgical robots. Nobody but her long-suffering housekeeper Alberta knows Kitty's secret identity as Lovely Weather, vigilante scourge of overpowered Mary Sue characters everywhere. Hearing of a particularly insufferable new Mary Sue known as White Guardian, Kitty goes to personally investigate. Although her worst suspicions are confirmed, she pauses her mission to save the life of an innocent Cat who is beheaded trying to escape from a creepy five-year-old. Her cutting-edge technology creates a new and improved body for the Cat, and Kitty trains this new cybernetic supersoldier to finish the fight against White Guardian.

Appearance

As Kitty Chandler - thirtysomething, beautiful, wealthy. Latina or Italian ethnic origin. Straight black hair, olive skin. Average height, athletic figure. Expensive taste but not tacky. Loves bold makeup and painted nails. Extensive tattoos on arms, legs and back. As Lovely Weather - green superhero outfit with mask. Lean toward high tech real-world military themes if possible.

White Guardian

Full name: Fey Copywright-Werckarround. Essentially a very thin pastiche of Jay's Mary Sue from Myth of the Legendary Warrior. An overpowered, underdeveloped, spoiled, petulant five-year-old child with nuclear powers and tacticool armour. Wants to blow up people he doesn't like. Does not care about collateral damage. The villain of the piece.

Appearance

Take visual cues from the Myth of the Legendary Warrior pages in the Golden Knight 2 thread. Ensure that, unlike in Jay's comic, the character has a ratty-looking mullet at all times. Make this character as thoroughly unlikeable as you wish...but...please remember that this character is a five-year-old. Jay makes his Mary Sue canonically a sadist and a foot fetishist - but please go nowhere near that territory with Fey. Feel free to play up his greed for power, his emotional shallowness, or go down the "evil child" route a la Omen. Just no foot stuff and no S&M stuff please.

Guardian of Color

Full name: Julayan Copywright-Werckarround. Fey's older brother. When Fey demanded his parents buy him a suit of power armour, they also bought Julayan one and told him to make sure Fey didn't get into trouble. Julayan's suit is a black model which has gravity powers rather than nuclear ones. Being a bored six-year-old, Julayan has primarily used his suit's powers to pants or wedgie his annoying little brother from a safe distance. Despite his sibling rivalry, Julayan has a good heart and wishes to become a super hero as soon as he's freed from the obligation to babysit Fey.

Appearance

Again, take cues from Dark Guardian in Myth of the Legendary Warrior. If possible, make him a misunderstood, frustrated hero in appearance rather than a Saturday morning cartoon "evil for the evilz" baddie.

 

[schiessen]

I'd be happy to do pages 8 and 9 as well as another page if it doesn't get enough love. I can do about 3 or so. Maybe 4 if I have a bit more time

 

[SparksterSanjulo]

I'm happy doing the cover, first page, and page 16. I can also do 3/4 pages depending on my schedule.

 

[Coster]

Page 7, please.

 

[deadson]

Agghh, I really wanna be in it too, but I don't have a scanner. I can take semi decent pics with the phone, but I do want it to be as nice as possible. What should I do? (Also, I wanna draw Lovely Weather in page 3, but it looks like it's spoken for. )

 

[SparksterSanjulo]

Agghh, I really wanna be in it too, but I don't have a scanner. I can take semi decent pics with the phone, but I do want it to be as nice as possible. What should I do? (Also, I wanna draw Lovely Weather in page 3, but it looks like it's spoken for. )

No one's taken page 3 yet. Schiessen and I were just both saying we could do 3 pages.

Also, when it comes to the no scanner thing, I'm sure Absinthe will still let you enter. Shoot them a PM and see.

 

[deadson]

Aight, taking pics is a go! Seriously stoked to do this. I'd like to draw page 3, 5 and 6 if that's cool with the rest of the gang. :3

EDIT; Seeing as how this is a colab, do we want to swap skype info? Or just base the posts on the first post?

 

[TopperHay]

If page 15 includes White Guardian struggling to eat a sandwich filled with delicious, healthy vegetables I'd be up for drawing that.

 

[Saney]

You should base the cat's cybernetic body off of my avatar.
...
Please?

 

[TopperHay]

Spoiler: This is what happens when I'm bored and I have Photoshop open

 

[Le Bateleur]

If page 15 includes White Guardian struggling to eat a sandwich filled with delicious, healthy vegetables I'd be up for drawing that.

Oh that would absolutely work for that page. I'd forgotten the Subway Incident

General Update

Fantastic response so far I'll give the initial signup until abou 20:00 BST and then send out the first round of page assignments

 

[Le Bateleur]

Da Update

Five volunteers have stepped forward for pages so far. In the interests of getting this off to a flying start, I'm going to make the first round of page assignments:

Front cover - SparksterSanjulo
Page 1 - SparksterSanjulo
Page 2 - Dr. Teem
Page 3 - deadson
Page 4 - Randall Fragg
Page 5 - deadson
Page 6 - deadson
Page 7 - Coster
Page 8 - schiessen
Page 9 - schiessen
Page 10 - tbc
Page 11 - Nova Prospekt
Page 12 - Ronald Raygun
Page 13 - schiessen
Page 14 - Coster
Page 15 - TopperHay
Page 16 - SparksterSanjulo
Back cover - EzioCanLeapofFaith

One page remains. Guess this place really is fast-paced

Those of you who've said you might be able to take more pages than you definitely put down for, very happy for you to specify which of the remaining ones you'd like. If not, I'll check again tomorrow morning and maybe message you guys asking you to cover particular pages.

 

[klystron]

Jerkops....

Janekops....

Jaykops?

 

[EzioCanLeapofFaith]

I would like to do the back cover, if still possible. Is there a deadline on this?