🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Molly Millions]

Why does he play the song for two seconds and then rant for a minute

"Women are emotional and can't help it"
So says the man who violently freaks out whenever he hears the name "Justin Bieber"

 

[Agares]

"I'd rather get bit by a King Cobra than get back with Jessica"

"I'd like to apologize to all the people who warned me about her"

We're getting a lot of banger quotes tonight.

 

[1700somewhere]

Spoiler: Boglim cake 2

Alright, we got Mango and Peach Body Armor, and Tropical Red Bull (it's not piss I swear).
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I made the white cake box mix, and split it by weight, and mixed both in. And I put in food coloring so it's black and green TWU.
Black is the red bull.
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Green is the body armor.
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Now, you might be asking, "Idiot, what are the chunks?"
Well, I found some fruit snacks.
We've got Sonic and Pokemon fruit snacks.
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But there weren't any Sonic heads in the Sonic pack.
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So I used a Shadow snack.
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Black sonichu.
I cut them up and put them in.
But what the fuck why is my cake brown fuck this doodt!
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So I found some...either, like, thick food coloring, or very pigmented icing and put it on the hot cake, hoping it would melt into the crevices. I used green and purple.
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So, after I let it sit on the stove for a couple of hours, I came back and iced it, and tried it with my husband (he was excited about this one).
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I say it's a 7/10, because it's not astounding, the flavors in the cake aren't distinct, buuuuuut I can taste the fruity flavors of the drinks. And the fruit snacks were also neat flavor nuggets...but they all sank to the bottom of the cake. They got harder, and not meltier.

Husband also says 7/10, and he's eating it, and not just returning it like he did the devil's food with the dew+Beetlejuice apple.
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Spoiler: also the fucking food coloring icing stained my fingers

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actual foodhack: dust the fruit snacks with flour next time, it helps them stick to the batter better, and not sink.

 

[☆ʙᴇᴛᴛʏ☆]

Cobra admitted he was thinking with his dick and that people were right about NAL.

We know Cobes. We know.

 

[Bogliacci]

I love how he's just blatantly admitting to stealing beats and sounds now, he used to try and hide it lol

 

[Agares]

Cobra admitted he was thinking with his dick and that people were right about NAL.

We know Cobes. We know.

Every once and awhile he admits to being wrong and even then, it's only partial. The troles are always at fault too.

 

[UncleBlazer]

"I'd rather get bit by a King Cobra than get back with Jessica"

"I'd like to apologize to all the people who warned me about her"

We're getting a lot of banger quotes tonight.

I've laughed out loud a good few times now. I didn't think we'd hear him talk about all this stuff so soon. Jessica's gonna be losing her shit though. I wonder what she'll do as retaliation this time

 

[☆ʙᴇᴛᴛʏ☆]

Cobes is a distinguished gentleman drinking his Beetlejuice sodie pop in a snifter glass.

 

[Agares]

I've laughed out loud a good few times now. I didn't think we'd hear him talk about all this stuff so soon. Jessica's gonna be losing her shit though. I wonder what she'll do as retaliation this time

Her options short of showing up again and trying her usual tricks are quickly running out. Calling the cops on him failed, revenge porn failed, the crying streams failed...

 

[bat bat]

Our Lord and Slayer, King Cobra just asked for confirmation that, on Easter Sunday, Jesus' blood turned into wine.
Yes, doodt. Yes it did.

 

[Mushroom King]

He entire upper torso, especially his head are very twitchy tonight. Means he's been drunk almost all day, we might be in for a melt down tonight. All the burping, he's got a very sour belly. BOY might go hard tonight..

Josh is worried he'll get "copy increngement" from Neil Young.

0:09

 

[Agares]

"Didn't Jesus turn water into wine? Which isn't that hard mind you, I make my own mead."

ALSO
Tactical soap delusions are back on the menu, boys.

 

[Pascal's Wagie]

I love how he's just blatantly admitting to stealing beats and sounds now, he used to try and hide it lol

It's called sampling, trole.

 

[Bodywork by Dennis]

We settled it like adults...on the playground.

Amazing.

 

[Agares]

"A Harlem of fangirls"

 

[biggacracka]

uh oh, we're back to the "every chick rejected me since 4th grade" loop methinks

 

[1700somewhere]

"I have an actual harlem of fan girls"

called jessica a cunt, now he's on an angry grandpa loop

 

[PetiteFeet]

“Cum goes where it wants to go Jessica I don’t control that.”

I hate that I read that in his voice and cadence, also it's random text worthy.

 

[Pascal's Wagie]

"A Harlem of fangirls"

I imagine that if Cobes lived on 125th Street, he would be a little something like this. Another life, toobs.

 

[GameratePTSD]

"Angry Grandpa died on the same day that my girlfriend broke up with me because she couldn't handle my youtube trolls, and then she immediately regretted it, then I spent the next six years without getting any pussy, and then I finally get some and it's from a psycho complete stalker cunt like Jessica, and I'm like life is hard and miserable dood. You know? It really is. I tried to show Jessica the video of Angry Grandpa getting his 55 Chevy as a Christmas gift and she didn't get it. She did not fucking get it. That video makes me cry everytime dood. *tears up*"

Josh is so boring sometimes and then out of nowhere he'll spit out a monologue that will stay with you for life.