IslamQA.info - Batshit insane Islamic rulings

[thismanlies]

I've noticed Islam triggers degenerates so it can't be that bad.

Which degenerates are we talking about? The far left wing degenerates love Islam because they see it as a way of hurting those evil right wingers.

 

[Stereotypical Badger]

Which degenerates are we talking about? The far left wing degenerates love Islam because they see it as a way of hurting those evil right wingers.

I'm talking about the Milo type degenerates who like underage sodomy and bathing in pigs blood.

 

[Kiwi Jeff]

Has anyone else noticed that this site is essentially Yahoo Answers, but for Muslims?

 

[Cosmos]

While searching for content for this thread, I came across a bunch of out-of-context screencaps taken from the MEMRI TV site. MEMRI TV is a nonprofit organization that translates and distributes Arabic, Persian, Urdu, Pashto, and Turkish media reports. A lot of these translations are fucking gold, and the memes/jokes that people make of them are even better.

I'm sharing them because a lot of them sound like they come from the writers of IslamQA.

Spoiler: More screencaps under the cut

If you guys like these, I can post more.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

While searching for content for this thread, I came across a bunch of out-of-context screencaps taken from the MEMRI TV site. MEMRI TV is a nonprofit organization that translates and distributes Arabic, Persian, Urdu, Pashto, and Turkish media reports. A lot of these translations are fucking gold, and the memes/jokes that people make of them are even better.

I'm sharing them because a lot of them sound like they come from the writers of IslamQA.
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Spoiler: More screencaps under the cut

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If you guys like these, I can post more.

You know the fucking rules: ALWAYS post more.

 

[DragoonSierra]

Fucking Saudis. They give money to schools who peddle this shit internationally. I think Id rather ally with fucking Iran at this point. Or at least start pandering to Qatar and Turkey

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

Fucking Saudis. They give money to schools who peddle this shit internationally. I think Id rather ally with fucking Iran at this point. Or at least start pandering to Qatar and Turkey

Just nuke it all and start over. The middle east was a mistake.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

OT but I wonder what direction the live action Aladdin remake will take when Disney makes it. Who will they pander to the most?

 

[Cosmos]

You know the fucking rules: ALWAYS post more.

Let's do this.

Spoiler: More screencaps under the cut

Btw, I have literally over 600 pictures because I bulk-downloaded this Facebook page's photos. I'll keep posting more.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

Let's do this.
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Spoiler: More screencaps under the cut

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Btw, I have literally over 600 pictures because I bulk-downloaded this Facebook page's photos. I'll keep posting more.

These are fucking hilarious. I recommend the yawning urinating one.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

I agree with every single one of those. Fuck Albanians!

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Can someone find the video explaining how anal dilation is training for jihad?

That can only be lulzy.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I agree with every single one of those. Fuck Albanians!

Lol I don't know what the Albanians did to Islam, but I'm not sure if knowing the truth or remaining ignorant will be funnier for me.

 

[neverendingmidi]

Can someone find the video explaining how anal dilation is training for jihad?

That can only be lulzy.

If I remember correctly, it either involved smuggling items, or hiding explosives for suicide bombers.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

If I remember correctly, it either involved smuggling items, or hiding explosives for suicide bombers.

Here it is. Basically, anal sex is halal if it's for the purpose of dilating your arse to hide a bomb in it.

I just think that the shaykh who handed down that fatwa is so far in the closet he's having adventures in Narnia but there you go.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

Here it is. Basically, anal sex is halal if it's for the purpose of dilating your arse to hide a bomb in it.

I hope they never get training from Kirk Johnson aka Goatse then. Dude could hide a nuclear warhead up there.

 

[HG 400]

Lol I don't know what the Albanians did to Islam

They converted to it. Even Muslims didn't deserve that kind of hit to their reputation.

 

[Koby_Fish]

https://islamqa.info/en/2532





If you want to pee you have to pee sitting down. Also don't touch ur dick with ur right hand when peeing.



https://islamqa.info/en/20327

Why apostates must be killed

What is the ruling on drawing animate beings for fun and then erasing them straight away?
https://islamqa.info/en/129446


Ruling on having intercourse with a slave woman when one has a wife
https://web.archive.org/web/20150905232204/http://islamqa.info:80/en/10382


Edit:

http://islamqa.org/hanafi/muftionline/46527

Q: Is it permissible to tell some one “happy birthday”?

A: Celebrating birthdays is a custom of the kuffaar. As Muslims, we are commanded to refrain from emulating the kuffaar as well as adopting their ways. Hence, it is reprehensible to share in the happiness of someone celebrating his birthday by saying “happy birthday” to him.

My god, they're worse than Jehovah's Witnesses with the birthday thing.

 

[ICametoLurk]

I agree with every single one of those. Fuck Albanians!

They converted to it. Even Muslims didn't deserve that kind of hit to their reputation.

@entropyseekswork

 

[RI 360]

@entropyseekswork

WTF I like Muslims now?