How do I join a cow's thread without saying retarded shit?

[Josué Conrado Lua]

Other than replying to the latest messages, that's boring.

 

[Farsided]

Dig some dirt on them and get featured on the main page!

 

[OrionBalls]

First step: Read the whole thing. I don't care how long it is.
Second step: Don't respond unless you have new or pertinent information.

 

[Waffle Iron]

First step: Ignore the highlight system and immediately jump to the latest page (pr0-tip: do this when the cow is featured, the regulars love tourists)
Second step: write an open letter to the cow how to improve their life. They just don't know how to turn their life around until you give them a good guideline.

 

[dick brain]

I don't care how long it is.

I've heard that one before.

 

[AnneRipper1010]

I've heard that one before.

Because it's short?

 

[dick brain]

Because it's short?

Because it's all I have to offer.

 

[draggs]

Other than replying to the latest messages, that's boring.

Read the last two pages of the thread and type something that agrees with whatever the hive mind is saying. Don't reply to them, parrot them