How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

  • 🇵🇦 Nuestro primer dominio localizado está en español en kiwifarms.pa. Our first localized domain is on Spanish on kiwifarms.pa.
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I'm feeling okay. Kind of feel a good deal of annoyance cuz I losing interest to anything i'm doing in my spare time from job. Thing is that my laptop is both my entertainment device and workplace these days due to my job being customer service operator for incoming calls. It's not a hard job really, but what annoys me is an amount of time I have to spend before my laptop's monitor. Not ot brag about but I never had such issue before, guess I'm just getting real tired from having all my hobbies tied to virtual space one way or another so it started to show and actually worn out its welcome. That also means I'm not that happy with doing digital drawings as I've been used to, and my overall quality regarding these drawings have dropped a wee bit. Not much, but nothing good I feel from this.
Other than that? I dunno, don't feel like anything wrong goes around.

Starting next week I'm on my own, my mentors finish the job they do with me and I sail away to work independently within company's voiceline services. I'd say it's about time but at the same moment I still have doubts and concerns due to quite a number of things are still more about trials and errors with my mentors, cuz there are situations where my knowledge is bare to none. Which is a problem in near sight but I think I'll overcome this, eventually.

I still fight with my weight as well... and that said, my current job aint helping much, but so was my previous despite the whole 12-hour workday activities with barely to no rest at all.
 
Almost died because of some acute, random health issue. Let's just say when I woke up I felt like one of those victims in the "Saw" movies but I made it out alive. As cliched as it may sound, I feel grateful for this second chance at life and a totally refreshed new man. Who knew it took almost dying to finally fuck me in the ass and wake me up lmfao
 
Life's supposed to be good and looking up but I may have severe depression, I can't stop thinking about all the bad things I have done, all the people I have caused problems for, all my bad decisions and everything bad in my life so far. I still find myself pining over the women I lost contact with over a year ago, two years ago and more, the friends I have lost because of my shitty actions, the university years I wasted not living upto academic expectations, maybe a lot more buried under the hood there. I don't know if I'm wishing for a perfect life, I still strive to live a perfect life with good morals and such but I would do almost anything to get back everything I've lost, all the friends family acquaintances and others. It is extremely difficult living with the consequences of actions you actively regret, being paranoid and perceived as unlikeable eats into my brain, with side effects like insomnia anxiety and the occasional fever. I would generally keep this under wraps but kfs anonymity allows me to vent to some degree. I don't want to live with this, almost every waking moment of my life is horrible to trudge through. I only wish things could have been different.
 
I have resigned myself to having to move to Utah for work. The more I thought about the work from home job, the less I like it.

The offer just seems too good. What they would pay me to do (make AI training videos on the software platform of my choice) would at best only last 3 months. Then what? At best, I have to move to a suburb of Atlanta (which I would rather just move to Utah) or I am back to looking for another job.

At 2pm, I'm seeing the counselor that I have been using with the veterans administration since I got fired. Once I talk to him, I got to call both companies and tell them my decision.

I hate moving. I had to do it constantly as a kid. I had a job that I tolerated. I have a house that I paid off in an area that I love. But some bastard with a fucking MBA has decided that the company needs to shut down most of its business units and move to Houston so he can pocket bonuses and get a gold parachute when in two years, the whole house of cards implodes.
 
I need a place to grieve into the void but 4chan is full of gay.

(:_(
 
I feel body is about to give away, mentally, and emotionally. I think I need rest, I feel like I put too much pressure at work today and lacked behind and felt light headed outside.
 
Agamemnon Busmalis powiedział(a):
Spectacular, I got reelected to my HOA board. We ran unopposed so just did a motion to submit a unanimous ballot in favor of the incumbents.

Just like the good old days, you love to see it.
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Like a BOSS.

You know, Boss Hogg, Boss Daley, Boss Barry.

Still, good to be the BOSS.
Anyway congrats bro.
 
Even after all the relationship drama from my ex, the cheating, the lying, the manipulating, the ride just never ends.
My hours at work got cut significantly due to budgeting shit.
At the point now where I had to swallow my pride and sign up for the local foodbank.
Weirdly, I'm not as depressed or out of it as I thought I would be.

I felt guilty to be in line for the first time the other day, being only one guy when there's families with kids that could use it just as much, but the volunteers at the foodbank did a screening conversation with me and I have never felt this understood, cared about and for lack of a better word, validated.

Despite the depths I've found myself in these days, I keep busy & have that strong feeling in my gut that I'll make it through this. It won't be easy but I'll get there. I'm hopeful.
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
It was rigged for me from the start and the only thing left for me to do is to keep living further waiting for life to end.
I'm an underdog, I'm a degenerate, and people like me were never a majority. I have no place in society and I'll be looking forward to the end of my lifespan.
 
BABANGUIDE64 powiedział(a):
It was rigged for me from the start and the only thing left for me to do is to keep living further waiting for life to end.
I'm an underdog, I'm a degenerate, and people like me were never a majority. I have no place in society and I'll be looking forward to the end of my lifespan.
Kliknij, aby rozwinąć...
It's okay; I like candy corn, too.
 
Not bad. A friend of mine experienced in growing mushrooms told me this morning that a grain bag I had inoculated began to fruit-even before he opened the bag. He shared pictures, I was happily surprised. My first effort was a failure because the bag had become contaminated and unfortunately the contaminant won in the end. He says he's already put a few shrooms aside to dry and many more are coming in, so I'm looking forward to quite a trip.
 
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