HATERS TO THE LEFT

[The Mackers]

On the Ivy Q&A, she says that Barb was left with a dirty surprise everytime she done the laundry, how often that is, is how often he craps himself.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

That might just be his literal mind placing too much importance on statements. To him, to say something is true makes it true, physical evidence to the contrary be damned. Like how he is handsome and thin because he (and Barb) say so. So if someone says "Chis/Sonichu are gay." Then they are unless Chris immediately and fervently denies it.

I'm confused. If Sonichu isn't gay, then why does he have so much sex with truckers at rest areas? If Sonichu goes out and receives sodomy from these unpleasant people, how can he claim to be straight? He can lie to Rosechu, but he can't lie to himself.

 

[Holdek]

At this point, Barb getting off the sofa is pretty farfetched.

If she goes, the sofa goes.

Barb would have literally fuzed with the sofa (this sort of disgusting thing has happened before).

I read about this obese woman who was "bedridden" except it was on a sofa. The EMTs came to bring her out to take her to the hospital for some reason and she started screaming when they tried to lift her off. That's when they realized she had fused with it. So they had to carry the sofa to the hospital and surgically remove it from her.

What's always confused me though is how that happened. Like, biologically how does your skin "fuse" with sofa cloth?

 

[Tubular Monkey]

What's always confused me though is how that happened. Like, biologically how does your skin "fuse" with sofa cloth?

Without being too graphic, I imagine it starts with open sores.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

I read about this obese woman who was "bedridden" except it was on a sofa. The EMTs came to bring her out to take her to the hospital for some reason and she started screaming when they tried to lift her off. That's when they realized she had fused with it. So they had to carry the sofa to the hospital and surgically remove it from her.

What's always confused me though is how that happened. Like, biologically how does your skin "fuse" with sofa cloth?

I wish I could give the specific processes involved, but imagine leaving a band-aid on too long, to the point where the gauze gets dried into your wound. Pulling it off hurts like a bitch, much more than just pulling it off healthy skin. Now imagine that being bedsores, and the skin being dirty and unhealthy from years of improper bathing.

Keep in mind, skin isn't this permanent armor your body wears. It's tissue that constantly renews itself. Keeping it under pressure and compressed against something, eventually it'll try to expand... just to breathe if nothing else.

 

[Holdek]

He may not be constantly crapping himself, but he surely does over the most stupid or trivial things, like discussing bullyng on a chat with Jackie, or, as I theorize, over a broken computer ("near accident" my balls).

It's interesting that Chris thinks the rest of us should be required to smell his accident in public, or that his mother should be the one responsible for cleaning his turds out of his briefs at the age of 31. Yet when anyone suggests that he wear adult diapers, like his doctor or sweetheart, he gets mad.

He even told Panda that he "feels more comfortable" with the plan of having sex with a dog for her than wearing a diaper (they were discussing fetishes).

What's always confused me though is how that happened. Like, biologically how does your skin "fuse" with sofa cloth?

Without being too graphic, I imagine it starts with open sores.

Ah yeah, good point. I hadn't considered that.

 

[Bugaboo]

Wow, the weirdest shit happens when I'm not here.
The only guess as to what the hell Chris is doing dressing like a twelve year old is that he's trying to attract the pretty girls of facebook who post pics of themselves doing stupid shit ironically and take selfies in the mirror.
Or he perpetually wants to be a child and it got mixed into the tomgirl.

 

[Guy-in-Gherkin-Getup]

*vomits to infinity and beyond*

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

What's always confused me though is how that happened. Like, biologically how does your skin "fuse" with sofa cloth?

Without being too graphic, I imagine it starts with open sores.

This statement made me curious, so I was able to look up a news story about this. Unfortunately, my faith in people is so low that I'm inclined to believe that this has happened more than once.

http://allnurses.com/general-nursing-di ... 75623.html

The woman in question basically shat where she lay. Imagine doing that for years. All that urine and feces and sweat will eventually rot skin, which then fuses to the sofa fabric.

 

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

EEEEWWWWWWWW! BLECH! Is there a "Mr. Yuck" smiley?

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I prefer to think that the couch spontaneously grew a woman, and just hadn't quite finished.

 

[Fibonacci]

See me ride out of the Target
Eating McDonald's fine cuisine
Shout to all that I'm upset,
Always make a scene
Haters to the left of me,
And haters to the right
Ain't got no one,
Ain't got no wife
Don't you start no lies!

Cuz I'm
Christian C.
I'm cast aside
Christian C.
And I have to hide
Christian C.
I've a bowel-load
Christian C.
Watch me explode

My briefs are dirty, mean and mighty unclean
I want woman
GAMe PLACe Enemy Number One, hm,
Uh, understand?
So lock up your daughter,
And lock up your pride
Lock up your game store
And run for your life
Chris*Chan is back in town
Don't you troll around​

 

[DykesDykesChina]

I'd never have imagined that discussing Chris's incontinence would ever actually be the less revolting conversational option...

 

[Giovanni]

See me ride out of the Target
Eating McDonald's fine cuisine
Shout to all that I'm upset,
Always make a scene
Haters to the left of me,
And haters to the right
Ain't got no one,
Ain't got no wife
Don't you start no lies!

Cuz I'm
Christian C.
I'm cast aside
Christian C.
And I have to hide
Christian C.
I've a bowel-load
Christian C.
Watch me explode

My briefs are dirty, mean and mighty unclean
I want woman
GAMe PLACe Enemy Number One, hm,
Uh, understand?
So lock up your daughter,
And lock up your pride
Lock up your game store
And run for your life
Chris*Chan is back in town
Don't you troll around​

I wept at the beauty of it.