I am not a woman so I apologise for intruding
No apology necessary! This is a thread dedicated to discussing films through a feminist critical lens--that's something anyone can do, regardless of sex. Some excellent film and media criticism regarding women's portrayal in them comes from Robert Jensen, a male professor and author who has been writing on this type of criticism for years. He does an excellent, excellent analysis of pornographic female presentation, but he also critiques normal films as well. I suggest looking up his blog/website and reading through a few of his shorter posts. He's accessible and hard-hitting (no DV pun intended, since that's what your post is about).
Domestic violence is very rarely portrayed realistically in film, it's usually ridiculously over-the-top evil or kind of excused. It's an issue I know a lot about due to IRL stuff so I appreciate when a movie gets it right.
I agree. I've not seen
Falling Down, but I'll definitely look into it. I recently rewatched
Mommie Dearest, and while I understand it's a campy film that's working from a sensational memoir, I can't help but relate to tearful and stressed out little Tina on the bathroom floor, dusted with Ajax, tiredly, doggedly sighing, "
Jesus Christ," after her hysterical, fading-star mother Joan Crawford wrecked her shit in the middle of the night. So many people do not fundamentally understand that abuse, especially abuse committed by narcissistic parents, can be as performative and ridiculous as what's shown in
Mommie Dearest--that a parent really
can control everything about your life, can break you down entirely with the help of institutions, and can later even extort you/depend on you, only to exclude you when it matters most because of some (often perceived) slights or (very deserved) distance you put between you and them.
I saw this on YouTube not too long ago and had similar feelings. I've not read the book, but to me the film seemed like a classic 90s retrospective tale of Women (and Girls) on the Edge. It was my first watch, so I definitely did not like Ingrid, and hated her for what she did to Claire. Ingrid reminds me a lot of Charlotte from
The Diary of a Teenage Girl: just as juvenile and underbaked in some ways of thinking and how she responds to negative stimuli with jealousy and calculated abuse. But your reading intrigues me and I think I'll rewatch
White Oleander and check the book out.