Funny stories about your period

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Don't have a funny period story, but I do have a more sentimental one. Got my first period at eight years old. Like my mum at that age, I was allergic to most pads on the market. So, my nana spent a painstaking amount of time making reusable pads for me. All in different colours, and patterns, from her big pile of scrap fabrics in her sewing room. She even made them with wings, that clipped together with a little button, on the underside of the crotch. I used those for years, even after she passed away, before I switched over to disposable pads. Sadly, I just outgrew them. But I will always be thankful for what she did for me. 💕
 
Premium Gonzo powiedział(a):
I wasn't referencing TSS or lack of appropriate hygiene for women as funny.

But my own experience with having a shit period for most of my life has been resolved by getting sick with something else.

Which is funny because the medical system is so inept it, i was on a wait list for 8 months just to get an initial gyno appointment that i'd have to pay for out of pocket. Yet with diabetus everything is subsidized or funded fully to keep me alive.
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Now you're just being depressing. (:_(
 
Aunt Carol powiedział(a):
(...) But it's true, cup wearers are the Crossfit/vegans of the menstrual world, so you don't need another sermon.
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Thanks for the laugh, I call them ''Order of the silicone chalice'' and yes, I will burn in hell, because I gonna destroy the entire planet singlehandedly by using disposable supplies.

My latest story is not funny, more like uncomfortable and embarassing (did the OP really expect anything else)? So, I forgot my tampons in the hotel and realized it in the overnight train, yes, with white sheets on the beds and all. One would say they'd sell some hygienic products, along other non-food in the restaurant car, but no. But they do sell things like plush moose or reindeer and decks of cards. So I had to bum some tampons from several girls in the train. I was like, fuck my life, but in the end I was successful and the thought of not being a post-op troon whose crotch is rotting away lifted my spirit a bit. Since that i keep those white fuckers in everything that has zippable pockets, also in every piece of baggage and there is some stash in my car.
 
Mine are no fun, but it could be far worse. Like a weird number of ladies out there and on here, I know a few dudes that previously thought women just had random moodswings monthly and that's what a period was. Funny everytime I think or hear about it.

In terms of personal funnies(?), I had a lot of period-related incidents that sent me home from school when I was a teen. The last one I dealt with before my cycle started pumping the brakes a bit was when I was seventeen. The teacher came up to help me with something after I'd asked for it during class, I felt a brief pinch in my lower body, then a pain in my upper back before I fainted. Eventually woke up on the floor with the teacher next to me., and while none of that sounds too funny, I sincerely thought I had some kind of seizure off of the bare essentials I knew of how those worked.
So the first thing I said after waking up was loudly asking if I'd pissed myself. I hadn't, but I got a mild concussion from hitting my head on the edge of a table. I even had a bump, just without the pain.

Went to the doctor after getting picked up and they couldn't tell shit from piss what exactly had happened beyond the "proctalgia fugax" reaction (aka muscle spasms in/around the ass that can make your other muscles briefly freak out). Concussion itself was cleared within a day or two, no harm done!
 
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Bankingway powiedział(a):
Mine are no fun, but it could be far worse. Like a weird number of ladies out there and on here, I know a few dudes that previously thought women just had random moodswings monthly and that's what a period was. Funny everytime I think or hear about it.

In terms of personal funnies(?), I had a lot of period-related incidents that sent me home from school when I was a teen. The last one I dealt with before my cycle started pumping the brakes a bit was when I was seventeen. The teacher came up to help me with something after I'd asked for it during class, I felt a brief pinch in my lower body, then a pain in my upper back before I fainted. Eventually woke up on the floor with the teacher next to me., and while none of that sounds too funny, I sincerely thought I had some kind of seizure off of the bare essentials I knew of how those worked. So I kept loudly, repeatedly asking her if I'd pissed myself. I hadn't, but I'd gotten a mild concussion from hitting my head on the edge of a table. I even had a bump, just without the pain.

Went to the doctor after getting picked up and they couldn't tell shit from piss what exactly had happened beyond the "proctalgia fugax" reaction (aka muscle spasms in/around the ass that can make your other muscles briefly freak out). Concussion itself was cleared within a day or two, no harm done!
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..and you consider that far from worse?

Could be a vasovagal response to seeing your own blood, it causes your blood pressure to drop which might have caused your faint.
 
umami's milk powiedział(a):
..and you consider that far from worse?

Could be a vasovagal response to seeing your own blood, it causes your blood pressure to drop which might have caused your faint.
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Wouldn't be surprised at that either, I'm a pussy when it comes to that and already deal with some form of anemia. My periods are baseline now in terms of pain and discomfort, but it was "puking without pain meds and having to take days off from school almost every month" levels of awful before it lightened up. I take a couple Ibuprofen for the first two days and it's mostly fine.. Except for the slimy "need to shit but not really" feeling cropping up.

Even with it getting better I still envy women that just don't cramp at all. Must be awesome.
 
haha this one time I bled out of my vagina and everyone thought it was gross

the end
 
umami's milk powiedział(a):
Could be a vasovagal response to seeing your own blood, it causes your blood pressure to drop which might have caused your faint.
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It sounded like this happened when there wasn't blood visible, just fully clothed, in class. But it'd make sense if the same neuromuscular fuckery that caused proctalgia fugax also triggered the syncope. @Bankingway was crampin' like a champion and that cramping stimulated the vagus nerve the same way a bowel movement can... then down she went.
 
umami's milk powiedział(a):
This shouldn't be possible. The cervix only dilates to a little less than a centimeter during the menstrual cycle.
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She's not saying that it got stuck in her uterus (wasn't one of Grace Laverey's crazy patrons claiming that?).

Unless I miss my guess, OP masturbated with a cup in place and through the power of Kegels, the cup climbed up and the resulting suction made it difficult to remove later.
 
umami's milk powiedział(a):
Ahhh. I see. Doesn't it sit right up there against the uterus already, though?
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Pretty much, but you know how vaginas vary. Some women have a "low cervix," as you'll see from menstrual cup fora/review sites.

Broadly speaking, I think this is the difference between sipping from a water glass, and using your mouth to suction that water glass hands-free to your face.

...Then someone tries to grab the glass from you, but the glass and your face are actually hiding down a fleshy tunnel, the glass is a Silipint, and both the glass and the tunnel are covered in mucus. Yeah, that's the ticket.
 
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