End of 2020 catch-all ALR discussion

[Sparkle Friendo]

She’s gonna lie in bed all year long and watch Netflix.

Bold of you to assume she is physically capable of laying down in a bed

 

[Sodium-King-90]

I guess this year we won't get a video of Big Al pretending to be surprised whilst eye-fucking the camera as she waddles on tree-trunk legs towards a birthday cake.... I'm devastated.

 

[Dovahshit]

I miss being invested in this fat cunt's life 2020 really was the year of losing interest in our gorl.

im way too late with this, but i miss it too

also this was indeed the year where far better cows who did the same thing as hamber but better and had even extra shit to keep it lively.

step up ur shit amber

 

[Meygen]

The only ALR videos I've ever truly enjoyed were the drink with me and optavia ones. Optavia was great because of her mispronunciation of the word fuelling. "I've eaten all my feelings for the day"
not 2020 related but her content this year has been painfully dull

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Dear Journal,

I haven't posted in days , despite my birthday and all of the "where's Hamber?" messages from my Ambaby supporters. I had an orange chicken cake which my dear I love her and want to marry her Thumbster bought for me. It was weird, because the first bite I took was like a King Cake and I broke a toof because Becky stuck a ring in the middle of the cake. Imagine the sisshuation?? Becky cried and I fake cried because the last thing I want is marriage on anybody's terms other than my own! My wedding will be spectacular! Dusty will be my bridesmaid and Dana, well fuck Dana, will be bought off for my used tarps.

But, this is my JOB. I have to come up with something more mundane than the shitty YouBoobs I usually post. I think I've slapped the dispecktful piece of shit haydurs enough. A New Years resolution of the same stuff I resolve every year is in order! College, loose weight, become self-aware, yeah that's the ticket! I'll post it on New Year's Eve to let everybody know how serious I am about changing in 2021.

Love you journal,
Hamber

 

[Haggard Cunt]

So are we still being punished?

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

The drought will continue until morale improves!

 

[Billie Ross]

Yep, cutting her money short is a massive punishment to us...
We're are the ones who pay Dustyn's rent.
Hambo is such a clever gorl.

 

[pot of sneed]

The pig got her payout before Christmas so fuck everybody else, she will eat and gorge to her heart's delight and come crawling back early January claiming to have turned over a new leaf, that she will walk a million and a half steps this year and will definitely lose all the weight she packed on in 2020, just you wait and see! Oh, exactly the same shit she promised last year, and the year before, and the year before that too. The cycle of lahs continues like the rise and the fall of the sun, pig gonna grift and there will be a new clutch of haydurs born in 2021 when this exact scenario happens because it always does.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

But, this is my JOB. I have to come up with something more mundane than the shitty YouBoobs I usually post. I think I've slapped the dispecktful piece of shit haydurs enough. A New Years resolution of the same stuff I resolve every year is in order! College, loose weight, become self-aware, yeah that's the ticket! I'll post it on New Year's Eve to let everybody know how serious I am about changing in 2021.

All of Amber's resolutions are aspirational and we should not expect Amber to accomplished them. All of these resolutions will start with "I am thinking of", then add the aspirational goal.

For example, she will tell us that:

I am thinking of going to college,
I am thinking of losing 100 pounds so that I can fit in an MRI machine,
I am thinking of walking 1,000,000 steps and be more mobile,
I am thinking of saying "no" to my friends,
I am thinking of reading more books, etc

Even Amber is not expecting those goals to be accomplished unless they require no effort on her part.

 

[497]

im way too late with this, but i miss it too

also this was indeed the year where far better cows who did the same thing as hamber but better and had even extra shit to keep it lively.

step up ur shit amber

I know it's been said already... but it's weird, this year should have been really interesting. She moved, met her mom, got cancer, norovirus but yeah....

 

[Daisy]

I know it's been said already... but it's weird, this year should have been really interesting. She moved, met her mom, got cancer, norovirus but yeah....

Maybe 2021 will be the year she finally gets the beetus and they have to take her foot.

 

[peach tea]

2021 prediction: Amber will continue to be fat. She will also continue to be unwatchable. Despite this, the Ambabies will keep financially supporting her while deluding themselves into thinking that they’re not as obsessed with her as she is with eating.

 

[ADHD]

So are we still being punished?

I'm not sure she considers it punishing us as much as she considers it time for her to do what she wants to do (and eat what she wants to eat) without having to worry about vlogging any of it or hearing any comments about it. The fact that she didn't even bother posting any selfies last night suggests she might not have even done anything with D squared or the boys.

Cellulitis got her down? Too fat now to fit into even her biggest tarps? Who knows.

 

[Clotso Coof]

Maybe 2021 will be the year she finally gets the beetus and they have to take her foot.

If they cut off her foot, I want to see her bounce down the hall on her enormous inflated ankle-stump.

 

[ADHD]

Our gorl has returned, so I'll be locking this thread. Happy New Year, gorls.