DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Pargon]

The mental gymnastics he has to go through to say to his viewers that it screws with his entire work (streaming) schedule and he know needs to change his days off because of it is incredibly mind boggling. I'd imagine he'd be kinda butt hurt he may now have to shift his day off that he's had for so many years now just to accommodate with his wife's work hours, oh no what a nightmare! (Imagine getting into a hissy fit and complaining because of your wife's work hours have changed slightly, what a functionable relationship).

He does fuck all outside the house apart from whatever shit he does on the Tuesday, can't he just shift some of his mundane activities to do on the weekend? like a normal person would?

Who am I kidding, that level of thinking is below Phil, he needs an entire day to take care of all of his activities otherwise he doesn't have time for anything and it affects his streaming hours! (*cough*cough, Champions, Gin Drinking and Kiwifarms lurking time *cough*cough).

He had the exact same circumstance when he was with Leanna. I know it's not unusual for most adults to have at least one day off in the week, and for that day to be typically the same, but even then he still insisted on doing everything he had to do during the week on that day, and only that day. It had to be when accompanied by Leanna, and if something had to be done on any other day then it needed to be done in such a way that he did not need to leave the house.

Ladies and gentlemen, I submit the theory that Phil, through deficit either physical or mental, is unable to run errands or perform any sort of activity outside his home without the presence of his surrogate mother figure.

Phil has been going shopping with a woman for so long in his life that he must continue to do so lest ?????????? occur.

 

[PhilsCamelToe]

The picture I have in my mind is one of Phil doing his grocery shopping alone and finds himself at the self checkout line. He would probably shit his pants and abandon all his goods if the machine said it didn’t recognize an item or it doesn’t pick up the item was placed in the bag. Fucking brilliant.

 

[Erroneous Chargebacks]

So Phil says his grocery shopping takes 3 hours to do after everything is said and done, so that's why his day off is so stressful. The thing I don't understand though is that Kat literally works at a fucking supermarket. Why doesn't she grab a bag or two of groceries after her shifts? On my way home from work I go and grab some groceries a couple times a week to keep myself stocked up with fresh food. Having a weekly grocery trip takes up all his "free time with his wife".

My only thinking is that Phil doesn't trust her enough to grab the authentic Italian foods.

 

[marlintan]

My CPA for the biz taxes - one with actual expenses - charges $450 in case anyone is wonder if Phail is lying.

Depends on the type of business/person that they are doing the filing for... if there are significant exemptions that require saving records of the expenses for years in case of an audit, or extraordinary circumstances like COVID allowing early cash outs of retirement plans, they may charge around $30-$50 an hour (not DSP terms of work, but actually having your file on their desk and working through knowledge of loopholes), but more simple businesses (where you are expected to have "tidy" records readily available for the accountant), there could easily be a flat fee. DSP and his trash bag of receipts would be told to fuck right off on the horse he road in on down here in Texas, YMMV, WA looks like its full of his type, so hourly would make more sense.

 

[Totally Awesome]

So Phil says his grocery shopping takes 3 hours to do after everything is said and done, so that's why his day off is so stressful. The thing I don't understand though is that Kat literally works at a fucking supermarket. Why doesn't she grab a bag or two of groceries after her shifts? On my way home from work I go and grab some groceries a couple times a week to keep myself stocked up with fresh food. Having a weekly grocery trip takes up all his "free time with his wife".

My only thinking is that Phil doesn't trust her enough to grab the authentic Italian foods.

I have no idea why he fucking takes 3 hours to do grocery shopping. He is stupid as shit. It always takes me around 30 to 45 minutes. Maybe an hour if I'm dicking around or the lines are extra long.

 

[OJ Simpson]

"I'm not, a children's enterpainter"

 

[TurdFondler]

Phil is that guy at the grocery store that has a minor breakdown picking every item and has to ask his spouse about it before putting it in the cart. It doesn't matter he gets the same thing every week.

 

[Pargon]

I have no idea why he fucking takes 3 hours to do grocery shopping. He is stupid as shit. It always takes me around 30 to 45 minutes. Maybe an hour if I'm dicking around or the lines are extra long.

Every unit of measurement Phil expresses he magnifies by several degrees. Cost, time, effort, everything. If he says he paid $1000 for a Tax Guy you have to remind yourself to divide by the Power of DSP to get something approaching reality.

Why he does this, I don't know. It seems like a thing he'd pick up from his histrionic, overbearing mother but who the fuck even cares, it's autism all the way down.

 

[Forbidden Math]

correction, he warps to another room, mutes his mic, then starts shit-talking. Phil always finds a way to be worse that you thought he could be. He's like the opposite of those old U.S. Army "be all you can be" ads on TV. "DSP; Be worse than you can be"

Having just watched back the segment on SJC's new video I actually don't think he was muted. I think he muted his mic before he left the room, then he unmuted it as he started saying his "witty barb" or whatever the hell that was. Could be wrong, but from what I've played of VR Chat (get this Phil; IN ACTUAL VR) it looked to me like his mic was unmuted. That said he absolutely left the world and as such the kid could no longer hear him so maximum pussy can't even talk shit to a 11-year-old because he know he'd get owned further (because the kid already made fun of him and all he could respond with was "*bitch voice* you're quite rude").

 

[Draventren]

So Phil says his grocery shopping takes 3 hours to do after everything is said and done, so that's why his day off is so stressful. The thing I don't understand though is that Kat literally works at a fucking supermarket. Why doesn't she grab a bag or two of groceries after her shifts? On my way home from work I go and grab some groceries a couple times a week to keep myself stocked up with fresh food. Having a weekly grocery trip takes up all his "free time with his wife".

My only thinking is that Phil doesn't trust her enough to grab the authentic Italian foods.

I've seen this tossed around before, and the only thing that I would correct is the Kat buying groceries while at work/after work. I say this because we know that up until recently she was working evening/closing shifts. Buying stuff after closing shifts at retail doesn't really work. The cashiers have shit to do and once the last person is out of the store, the last register is closed and the money in them is counted and then put away in the cash office. The only other option is shopping during your breaks, which only works for things that you're not worried about leaving in your car in potentially high heat, or else trust your workplace enough/have a locker to store the things you already bought. Source: worked closing shifts in retail for like 8 years.

The 3 hour grocery thing is 100% a fucking lie. The only time I've spent anywhere near that long shopping is if I need to hit multiple places around town. And that's on a saturday/sunday during busy times.

 

[white gorilla glue]

The picture I have in my mind is one of Phil doing his grocery shopping alone and finds himself at the self checkout line. He would probably shit his pants and abandon all his goods if the machine said it didn’t recognize an item or it doesn’t pick up the item was placed in the bag. Fucking brilliant.

Self-check out: Please place item in the bagging area.
[Phillip panics, runs away with item and gets arrested.]
Phillip: I did nothing wrong. I did everything correct.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

At this point, Phil’s mental gymnastics are less about making his bullshit lies work with his dullard audience, and more about how far he can bend over backwards to allow his head to work itself farther up his ass.

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

Can't he just drop kat off at work so he can use the car to go to ent???

You sound like a dumb kid who doesn't know how life works.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

God tier theory, Kat is gone and his mum has moved in with him to help him out "behind the scenes".

This has been posited before, especially one stream where we heard vacuuming which irritated Phil and Katherine would have known by then that's a big no-no to disrupt working man time in the ahhfice.

 

[Pargon]

At this point, Phil’s mental gymnastics are less about making his bullshit lies work with his dullard audience, and more about how far he can bend over backwards to allow his head to work itself farther up his ass.

About once a week or so someone posts something he said and I think to myself, "this is it. This is gonna be the stream where he pulls the mask off and admits this was all a giant farce."

And it never, ever happens.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Horrifying Speculation

Spoiler: Spoiler

What if Phil and Kat call each other Mommy and Daddy?

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

"The game doesn't render people, they're invisible!"
Can some paypig tell this retard what FoV is and how to change it. This is driving me to drink.

 

[blahblahblah678]

The picture I have in my mind is one of Phil doing his grocery shopping alone and finds himself at the self checkout line. He would probably shit his pants and abandon all his goods if the machine said it didn’t recognize an item or it doesn’t pick up the item was placed in the bag. Fucking brilliant.

Will somebody please help Phil with his ketchup problem?

 

[SojiroSakura]

He's super triggered by the "mom" thing. It came from your own mouth, dude.

 

[Erroneous Chargebacks]

"I don't know what's wrong with people tonight, so far we've got $0 in tips..."

You already hit your $200 daily quota, why does it matter if it is $100 each stream.