And what I don't like is if the business is true that you left your mom's in the hood Somebody go smoked at you. You don't leave your mom's nowhere. You have money and you left your mom's there Yo, you're sick to my stomach fam, but if it's not true shorty's just talking shit.
Hi everyone It's your boy Zach and the Toronto accent cured my sinus infection. I Think it was the guia finessin and the setrazine, but it was just fun. I was just Sick as a dog yesterday Can't breathe up at like 4 a.m. And I'm just like I've tried every medicine I'm just gonna watch a bunch of tick tocks about the Toronto accent to do is broski or a Gerber and see if it's like a real thing or if it's like an elaborate con and all I can say is that it seems to Kind of be real, but it's not everybody.
So I Just thought it'd be funny if just everyone in that city talks like that, but apparently it's just like a teenagers at the mall type of accent But anyway, so Yesterday I did a community post again. It was AI And I said new rule if you are a bald bearded or a British We don't listen to you now Even as I typed the Baldwin I was like, well, that's not really fair. Some people start balding in like high school they can't really help it, but I'm it's the beginning of a general rule and in The Marines specifically we had all these acronyms To remember stuff pick them deep.
Let me see if I can do this one off the top of my head 26 years later employed in pairs interlocking fields of fire Coordination of fire mutual support deflate on flayed economy of forces And I think the last one is like Protection and concealment something like that. Whatever. It's been a quarter century But it's it's the principles of you know, how you use machine guns specifically with another gun Basically, you're shooting kind of in the same area, but not the exact same points You're covering for each other when one is reloading The other one is firing more to cover for them, etc, etc But I'm trying to formulate like how how do you how do you pick a YouTube channel? Or a tik-tok channel and listen to them and I think it might be The five B's so it would be bearded Bloated bald British bellowing so Bearded let's just start with bearded bearded.
Most of these things are just like code for old Somebody just sent me a message. It's like have you heard of the escape pod? Escape pod podcast and they said something like try to ignore how they look. I think you'd like it.
It's like well, first of all Their looks are they look like a couple of nerds. That's perfect There are a couple of nerds and I'm assuming they're 20s One kind of looks like shaggy from Scooby-Doo. The other one just kind of looks like Nothing I don't know how to describe him.
He's just a guy I don't know. I think he might even have a beard Maybe he does. Maybe.
Yeah, does he have a beard? I don't know. I can't describe it. He's a guy He's he's like a regular guy might have a beard.
I think he might But With this the more of them you have the more of it's a problem So bearded is a beard is just fake tough guy. This is fake tough guy. Now.
Sometimes it's I don't have a chin So I'm gonna grow a beard to make it look like a chin The funny thing is when the chinless guys grow beards, you can still see there's just a bunch of fluff There's no there's no actual chin underneath there. Sometimes they have a chin, but it's Swaddled in like Blubber, so they're like, oh, I'm gonna try and define my chin with a beard, but it's it's um, I mentioned this You know recently mohawk when I was a kid met you're a tough guy punk rock sometime in the late 90s It means you work in web design Beard means you're a pussy. That's it.
That's what a beard means You complain about to see princess living princess movies for a living. So bald again, that's kind of just a code for old I think one of the escape Podcast guys is balding. But again, like I said that that one's kind of Let's just say completely bald if you're completely bald, bro.
It's 2026 like Rogaine's been out forever They got you can fly to Turkey for like seven thousand dollars. Like come on That's that that's that's an L on your part. But again, it's just code for old Just don't listen to old people Bloated And I'm not talking about fat, although it includes that but just like my sources say and it's just like why is every part of your head Puffy.
Well, it's inflammation. Inflammation is a weird one because I always used to confuse inflammation with bloated like gassy but inflammation is in the tissues and It just it reeks of unhealth Lack of health, I remember they had a Some sort of promotional thing I think it was the same show on Disney Plus where they showed they tried to make it like delightful that Dan slot was late on every script because and then they actually did this. I'm not kidding.
They had him like they had him like walking around Manhattan and then they had him like they Illustrated his imagination like oh, he's so cherubic He's 57. He's 57 bearded bloated bald and He's late for every script and he usually just has one script per month. Like it's not cute, but they showed like the Marvel staff in their offices and I don't know if it was the Fluorescent lights but like whole they all looked like they were dying Even like the assistant editors in their 20s.
They looked Unhealthy Specifically, they looked like they had bugs crawling under their skin. That's always what I used to that was the first time I came up with that phrase So we we covered bearded bald bloated British, oh Fuck no, you know, I said there's like some wiggle room on the bald and there's some wiggle room There's no wiggle room on the British. They all need to die It They all need to die it cuz they're fat no really they're they're just the fucking worst There's a there's a fun bit on tik-tok where like they show Somebody watching TV and you hear the boom of Netflix and then you hear like oh wait, and it is click it right off.
Um, it's not just the British accent British accents Which are annoying and an affectation just like the Toronto you guys are doing that shit on purpose Bro, that doesn't exist in any other society. There's a completely different accent every 20. I've told this story before In the Marines we had two guys from Texas near Austin One had like the lightest light country accent like lighter than Matthew McConaughey.
He's just like hey, how you doing? Like just like a little and the other one was like straight up like how do you I'm from Texas and they were 30 miles apart Wimberley area like come on. That's not like deep in the heart of Texas. That's like I'm driving to San Antonio It's not that dramatic And that's what I saw some people asking about drinkers accent and drinkers accent is like a dipshits idea of what a Scottish Person sounds like it's Scrooge McDuck.
They're like, uh, you know, it was a Brit He's like I've never heard that Scottish accent. It's fake So you got a guy who fakes his Scottish accent or at least he exact his again? His version of a Scottish accent is if I was like, howdy I'm from Texas That's and I saw one time a podcast. It was three Scottish guys and They were just like they were bothered at first they tried to like make fun of it But then you could tell like why is he making a such like a like? Scrooge McDuck cliche because he just wants money that plays Oh Funny Scottish guy.
He's drunk and he he saw the movie except for the accents fake He's pretending to be drunk and he didn't watch the movie but then just all the Brits as Disparu or just brew is there one Brit who like analyze and people always go? What about the little platoon? He's not bad. No, he's not as bad. No pun intended.
He's not as bad as the rest. He sucks So bearded bald bloated bellowing so some of these guys They're Americans, so they're not British They're not fat, but there are still huge assholes who you should never listen to and that's where I get to the fifth B which is bellowing and bellowing is just Talking way too forcefully and there's a bunch of guys like this. It's like hey guys Did you read the latest issue of spider-man? It was terrible.
It's like bro. What what? Is the microphone across the street is it across the Grand Canyon the microphone I'm assuming is right in front of you as all microphones are and the reason they do it and Rob Liefeld did it recently? I'm actually gonna cover that at the end of the month because I'm gonna make a point. Oh, this is just about to die So I gotta go inside and plug it in.
Toot toot broski, I'm running out of battery on my cellular telephone Toot toot. Okay. Don't be a pervert.
Okay. I'm almost there Okay This is the first time I ever did this usually just dies Yeah, so uh Rob Liefeld did this recently where he's like I couldn't tell if he was purposely misconstruing or he's just dumb. He's like Why do you say all old movie old comics are bad old comics are good and it's like first of all It's not something to get that Angry about second of all when people scream their response They bellow it.
They talk like this Well, they talk like they're 300 feet tall. It's because they know what they're saying is bullshit. It's a way to force a victory I'm saying right away if you talk like you're 300 feet tall Lower your voice an octave to talk about Disney Princess movies you look like you lose by default Because that's you admitting that even you know, what you're saying is stupid as fuck anyway, um, I Guess I ran out of shit to say.
Yeah, so if you're trying to decide can I trust this youtuber? Can I trust this tiktoker? I don't know Are they bald are they bearded are they bloated are they British are they bellowing? If it's any of those Most likely you can't trust them. Anyway, thanks for watching. Bye
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