Chris's New Facebook Statuses

[Bugaboo]

You know, is this the first time he ever called himself "poor"? Usually he's been happy enough to just burn through each tugboat as it comes and think no more of it.

Maybe Barb has been taking a larger amount of his tugboat than she and Bob used to.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Brother, Chris is trying to cut a promo. He is trying to come off as this poor, lonely character that is the victim of everyone else. He refuses to accept the fact he needs to man up and take charge of his own life. Chris is the epitome of what Hulkamania is not. Chris needs to start believing in the demandments of Hulkamania: Training, saying his prayers and eating his vitamins. The Hulkster feels if Chris did this, his lot in life would improve. He would finally be able to find a sweetheart from the ground up because women love a guy who is a Hulkamaniac. Women love guys that take charge, and fight for what is right. That is what Hulkamania is all about, man.

 

[Hellbound Sonichu]

I figure he's becoming aware of just how...what's the word I'm looking for (I don't want to say "Pathetic" since that would come off as A-Loging)? Anyway, it seems now he's looking for some form of attention that isn't Barb.

 

[Linako 2.0]

Is he truly depressed, or is he doing it for sympathy?

porque no los dos?

 

[Bugaboo]

why not both?

 

[Zap Rowsdower]

He probably has been seeing some happy lovey-dovey couples with or without little kids at the McDonald's he frequents the most. That and the fact that it will soon be Valentine's day (and the 31st Christian Love Day for that matter) have been most likely getting to him these past weeks.

And the 10th anniversary of his Love Quest's genesis.

 

[pickleniggo]

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This is just....uncomfortable.
Anyway. I simultaneously feel sorry for Chris and roll my eyes at him. He should really take some of that tugboat and see a therapist.

 

[PacSol]

This is just....uncomfortable.
Anyway. I simultaneously feel sorry for Chris and roll my eyes at him. He should really take some of that tugboat and see a therapist.

iirc, the tugboat includes a medicare benefits thing that would cover at least some basic counseling, so he wouldn't even have to pay for some benefits.

 

[Kosher Dill]

iirc, the tugboat includes a medicare benefits thing that would cover at least some basic counseling, so he wouldn't even have to pay for some benefits.

"Basic counseling" is just fancy gubmint words for "thrown into Bedlam". Pack your bags, we're moving to West Virginia!

 

[pickleniggo]

iirc, the tugboat includes a medicare benefits thing that would cover at least some basic counseling, so he wouldn't even have to pay for some benefits.

STRESS SIGH. You know, if you're gonna cheat the system, you might as well use all of it's benefits. But nope, Chris just runs off to Rocky - the most bumbling and ineffective "counselor" ever.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Chris is depressed. It's just he's being a baby about it instead of trying to make it better. Instead of going to the gym, seeing a speech therapist, getting his BA and working on his hygiene/acne.

If Chris ever earned a BA, that college should be shut down immediately. Hopefully, the only school that would give him one should be a ripoff school like University of Phoenix, or that "National College" that is in Charlottesville.

 

[PacSol]

STRESS SIGH. You know, if you're gonna cheat the system, you might as well use all of it's benefits. But nope, Chris just runs off to Rocky - the most bumbling and ineffective "counselor" ever.

Well, you can give an adult autistic child benefits, but you can't make it think.

 

[An Ounce of Vagina]

Fishing for pity alright.

Chris has exactly thee ways to deal with a problem:

1: Try to bully and intimidate the problem into going away, like the Alec calls. This never works.

2: Ignore the problem. His usual strategy.

3: Whine and cry about the problem in the hope that someone will fix it for him. His current favorite strategy.

 

[Bigguy28]

Just fishing for sympathy. Barb is probably getting tired of his whining so he is posting on Facebook hoping to get some.

 

[Spork]

Back in the day, Chris's tactic for "this female keeps telling me to do a thing and I do not want to do it" was to sever communications. Unfortunately, he cannot do this to Barb without forcing even more stress upon himself. Really, it looks like he's hoping that his fantasy sweetheart will be significantly less demanding than every other woman in his life up till this point.

 

[CatParty]

he probably saw all the people showering anna with pity when she made her emo statuses and figured they'd do the same for him. but yet he's limited himself so much to outside interaction that no one cares about him as he's not letting them care about him. the physical metaphor of this is his recent mcdonalds photo where he has built a "wall" of sorts using his mopey expression, copious amounts of mobile vidya, probable (most likely) stench, and chair pushed into the walkway to keep literally anyone from wanting to interact with him.

 

[The Mackers]

Yeah was trying to post last night but didn't realise this was a new forum, haha, but anyway...

Yes, of course its for attention that he posts this depressing crap, because those posts are set to public, rather than private like must of his shite is, so even we can see them. hell, you can share to leave him a message if you wanted to, if he hasn't friended you on facebook. Not that I bother!

 

[Tubular Monkey]

"No Trolling Plans"; Who the f*** are they kidding?

Who's trolling? I'm not trolling. I'm assessing your life and shaking my head in disappointment, but none of us is trolling. And just because you have irritable bowels, it's no reason to use a semicolon.

 

[cypocryphy]

Could he be rising from the ashes like a Phoenix?

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Who's trolling?

THIS. Talking critically about something is not trolling.