Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

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Won't speak on the veracity of this but I will say a lot of the content is recycled, either from VLB or VLB DVD extras or Haggard or Clutch/CKY/HIM(?) music videos. Probably ~25% is stuff I've seen before, maybe more.

Weird feels, anyway. Very strange to see new footage of them young, and skating well.
I watched 70% of this last night and a lot of it was new to me. It's weird seeing them all get along again in new footage. It also has newer CKY music so it's newly put together. It was nice to see some new Ryan footage.

The Ryan dying ark is so fucking sad.
 
Speaking of which, the Teutul family truly deserves to have their own cow thread - they stupendously capsized their bike business over the last 20 years. They lost their gigantic headquarters they built in New York to bankruptcy court, and it's currently being used as a ghetto-ass self storage facility.
They existed in a bubble caused by TV interest and the associated injection of capital, but at the end of the day ugly custom motorcycles are a very niche market that, without that artificial interest generated by all the publicity, is unable to sustain that level.

As dumb as I think Paul Sr. is I doubt it's directly the Teutul family's fault that their business has nosedived. They got huge and were almost certainly were pushed to continually expand their business by everyone around them, and maybe some of the TV deals and whatever else hinged on that.
 
They existed in a bubble caused by TV interest and the associated injection of capital, but at the end of the day ugly custom motorcycles are a very niche market that, without that artificial interest generated by all the publicity, is unable to sustain that level.

As dumb as I think Paul Sr. is I doubt it's directly the Teutul family's fault that their business has nosedived. They got huge and were almost certainly were pushed to continually expand their business by everyone around them, and maybe some of the TV deals and whatever else hinged on that.
Yeah, Reality TV is a bitch. It's like watching a very shoddy Indian-era train being built piece by piece just for after the show ending we can see it collide head first to another train. Lord knows how much Jazz Jennings or Honey Boo-Boo is suffering.

Bam was """groomed""" to become this perpetual asshole with Peter Pan syndrome because nobody knew how big the skate culture would become and how fast that fad would go away. Yeah, he sold a lot of boards (sad to admit that I wanted to buy a Element Bam board) and every kid got insufferable for a couple of years, but people get old, right? Stoner culture is very pathetic after your 25th birthday (maybe stoner culture is pathetic period.)
 
Bam was """groomed""" to become this perpetual asshole with Peter Pan syndrome because nobody knew how big the skate culture would become and how fast that fad would go away. Yeah, he sold a lot of boards (sad to admit that I wanted to buy a Element Bam board) and every kid got insufferable for a couple of years, but people get old, right? Stoner culture is very pathetic after your 25th birthday (maybe stoner culture is pathetic period.)
As an old stoner let me just say that Bam isn't stoner culture. In fact I would say that Bam is the opposite of stoner culture. We don't like hanging around annoying loud faggots, and frankly a lot of skaters are annoying loud faggots who are not welcome in stoner culture.

In a room full of tokers he would be that one faggot who would be no chill, waving his hands in front of peoples' faces yelling OOOHHHH ARE YOU TRIPPING RIGHT NOW???
 
As an old stoner let me just say that Bam isn't stoner culture. In fact I would say that Bam is the opposite of stoner culture. We don't like hanging around annoying loud faggots, and frankly a lot of skaters are annoying loud faggots who are not welcome in stoner culture.

In a room full of tokers he would be that one faggot who would be no chill, waving his hands in front of peoples' faces yelling OOOHHHH ARE YOU TRIPPING RIGHT NOW???
Powerleveling a bit, but I'm also a stoner, and in the 2000s and 2010s every single teenager was insufferable faggots because everybody was trying to imitate Bam or trying to imitate other skates that imitated Bam. What happened to just smoking weed and skating around? Every time I saw a kid rocking huge-ass Adio shoes and JNCO jeans I could bet he would be a turbo faggot. I was right every time. Too bad it was the style of the time and every single MTV show tried to emulate Bam's """style""" (like being a obnoxious drug-addled faggot is anything to look up to. Apparently it was.) ad-nauseum.

There isn't a actual decent stoner that agree with this cocksucker's act. We just want to chill out.

Nevertheless drugs are bad and stoners need to be stoned to death. Inshallah.
 
Still waiting to see if they'll cut Bam out of Pro Skater 3+4 or quietly leave him in. They haven't confirmed or denied anything yet.

I'm also interested to see what that could mean for a potential Underground 1/2 remaster. You can pretty easily ignore Bam in the first UG, or edit around him. But Underground 2 might as well be "Bam Margera's Pro Skater ft. Tony Hawk." What an arc Bam's had. He went from overthrowing Tony Fucking Hawk in his own franchise to quietly getting edited out of the promo material.

I think about Bam from time to time when I play the games again. I think of all the skating people and 00s celebs who used to be hot shit and ended up all fucked up. It reminds me of Otto from Rocket Power, and the ending he got.

rocket_power_grown_up_by_sixteen6stars_dc1yiom-375w-2x.jpg


Everybody else looks cool and successful but Otto got the most depressingly realistic ending possible. He looks like he sells bad weed. He looks like he brags about how he narrowly dodged getting put on the sex offender registry because he got a "sweet" plea deal. He looks like he's gonna tell me how glad he is that Trump pardoned him for going to the Jan 6 riots. He looks like he's gonna get off drugs for a month just so he can lower his tolerance enough that they're fun to take again. He looks like he made the worst fucking soundcloud rap album you ever heard in your life. He looks like he's gonna get on a livestream and scream at the camera about how none of the other Nicktoons will return his calls.

He looks like Bam.
 
Everybody else looks cool and successful but Otto got the most depressingly realistic ending possible. He looks like he sells bad weed. He looks like he brags about how he narrowly dodged getting put on the sex offender registry because he got a "sweet" plea deal. He looks like he's gonna tell me how glad he is that Trump pardoned him for going to the Jan 6 riots. He looks like he's gonna get off drugs for a month just so he can lower his tolerance enough that they're fun to take again. He looks like he made the worst fucking soundcloud rap album you ever heard in your life. He looks like he's gonna get on a livestream and scream at the camera about how none of the other Nicktoons will return his calls.
Maybe the real Rocket Power was the friends we made along the way…
 
He looks like he sells bad weed. He looks like he brags about how he narrowly dodged getting put on the sex offender registry because he got a "sweet" plea deal. He looks like he's gonna tell me how glad he is that Trump pardoned him for going to the Jan 6 riots. He looks like he's gonna get off drugs for a month just so he can lower his tolerance enough that they're fun to take again. He looks like he made the worst fucking soundcloud rap album you ever heard in your life. He looks like he's gonna get on a livestream and scream at the camera about how none of the other Nicktoons will return his calls.

He looks like Bam.
No, he looks like he still surfs/skates.
 
Speaking of which, the Teutul family truly deserves to have their own cow thread - they stupendously capsized their bike business over the last 20 years. They lost their gigantic headquarters they built in New York to bankruptcy court, and it's currently being used as a ghetto-ass self storage facility.
Sometimes I forget how much of a fucking flash-in-the-pan cultural phenomenon American Chopper was, the Teutels and their company went from being basically household names to essentially everyone forgetting that they ever existed within the span of like six years or so? Also I remember reading some posts in bike forums from guys who ended up with some OCC bikes [many of which went pretty cheaply after all of that 'fame' wore off] and they all pretty much unanimously said that none of those bikes were even slightly built or intended to be ridden and they were all unergonomic as fuck, squirrely in turns and would basically cook your crotch while you sat in the saddle. Most of them were also pretty tacky looking in reality. They were getting huge fucking deals from big brands to build completely unusable bikes and one of the strangest fucking hallmarks of that time period was when they appeared in an episode of King of the Hill, that episode is a real time capsule now and honestly unless you were around for the American Chopper phenomenon you would probably watch that episode now and have no fucking idea who they are or why they're there.

Sort of like Viva La Bam though, people mostly didn't really watch the show for Bam but his interactions with everyone else around him, like fucking Don Vito. Yeah he was an asshole but I'll be damned if that guy wasn't fucking hysterical to watch back in the day. Same with American Chopper, people didn't really watch it for the bikes, they watched it to see Paul Sr. and Paul Jr. throw chairs at each other and create a hostile work environment for everyone. I'm honestly surprised that none of the people who appeared on that show ended up with some kind of fucked up criminal case or allegations of impropriety at some point, Mikey was just about the only regular on the show who appeared to be reasonable and well-adjusted.
 
one of the strangest fucking hallmarks of that time period was when they appeared in an episode of King of the Hill, that episode is a real time capsule now and honestly unless you were around for the American Chopper phenomenon you would probably watch that episode now and have no fucking idea who they are or why they're there.
That was a good episode, too. But yeah, it's always weird to watch older stuff and see what guest stars and pop culture references stayed relevant and which ones became confusing relics of a bygone era. Like how they had an entire episode about Myspace. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if zoomers watching it thought "Myspace" was just a name they made up because they couldn't say "Facebook."

American Chopper was so fucking big that World of fucking Warcraft had an in-game motorcycle contest where people voted on Horde and Alliance themed motorcycles. Just look at this silly shit:
1743768912126.webp

The Horde bike won, because how the fuck could it not? It's a fucking barbarian bike with silly ass elephant tusks lol. But that meant the Horde bike was now so pwecious and special that it had to be locked behind a thousand fucking legal contracts and copyright disputes, so only a small handful of players ever got to get it because it was a limited time item, while the losing bike is still an item you can buy in the game for a stupidly expensive price.

All to promote a TV show that completely disappeared from pop culture in less than five years after.

1743769431030.jpeg

I'm honestly appalled either of these fucking things actually exist, because they look like the least practical, most ridiculous fucking vehicles ever built. Practically designed to crash and fall apart. Those stupid ass tusks alone are gonna cause so many problems with parking and tailgating. It's like if someone actually tried to make a stupid ass anime sword into a real weapon.

Powerleveling a bit, but I'm also a stoner, and in the 2000s and 2010s every single teenager was insufferable faggots because everybody was trying to imitate Bam or trying to imitate other skates that imitated Bam. What happened to just smoking weed and skating around? Every time I saw a kid rocking huge-ass Adio shoes and JNCO jeans I could bet he would be a turbo faggot. I was right every time. Too bad it was the style of the time and every single MTV show tried to emulate Bam's """style""" (like being a obnoxious drug-addled faggot is anything to look up to. Apparently it was.) ad-nauseum.

There isn't a actual decent stoner that agree with this cocksucker's act. We just want to chill out.

Nevertheless drugs are bad and stoners need to be stoned to death. Inshallah.
Whatever the case, you probably shouldn't be a skater and a stoner, because long term drug use and multiple head injuries is a recipe for disaster.
 
"As far as I can remember, I wanted to be a Lolcow. To me, being a lolcow was better than being President of the United States. Even before I first wandered into Kiwi Farms to learn about Chris Chan, I knew I wanted to be a part of them. To me, it meant being somebody in a blog that was full of nobodies. They weren't like anybody else. I mean, they did whatever they wanted. They pissed away their fortune in cheap booze and drugs and only got a thread on Prospering Grounds. In the summer when they jizzed on orange Fanta and drank it to recycle, nobody even called Null."

Earth Rocker, 2014.
 
"As far as I can remember, I wanted to be a Lolcow. To me, being a lolcow was better than being President of the United States. Even before I first wandered into Kiwi Farms to learn about Chris Chan, I knew I wanted to be a part of them. To me, it meant being somebody in a blog that was full of nobodies. They weren't like anybody else. I mean, they did whatever they wanted. They pissed away their fortune in cheap booze and drugs and only got a thread on Prospering Grounds. In the summer when they jizzed on orange Fanta and drank it to recycle, nobody even called Null."

Earth Rocker, 2014.
It was for Don Vito...and a lot of other things...it was in amongst the Jackasses, I mean real retard stuff. They even made Ryan Dunn die in a car crash so his mother couldn't get an open casket at the funeral
 
Ah, this thread really makes me feel so fucking nostalgic sometimes.

Viva La Bam, Jackass, CKY and old MTV in general, somehow even a post about fucking Rocket Power brings me back to old times.

I have so many fond memories where me and my older bro would be watching Jackass or Viva La Bam in the middle of the night trying to hold back our laughter so as not to wake our parents, this would obviously just make us laugh harder and we had such a blast.

Seeing these people get older, completely fucked up or dead in Dunn's case really makes me melancholic yet more so appreciate the kino we had back in the days instead of the goyslop they peddle today.

Some part of me still hopes Bam gets his redemption arc but it seems more unlikely every time I pass through here.
 
Ah, this thread really makes me feel so fucking nostalgic sometimes.

Viva La Bam, Jackass, CKY and old MTV in general, somehow even a post about fucking Rocket Power brings me back to old times.

I have so many fond memories where me and my older bro would be watching Jackass or Viva La Bam in the middle of the night trying to hold back our laughter so as not to wake our parents, this would obviously just make us laugh harder and we had such a blast.

Seeing these people get older, completely fucked up or dead in Dunn's case really makes me melancholic yet more so appreciate the kino we had back in the days instead of the goyslop they peddle today.

Some part of me still hopes Bam gets his redemption arc but it seems more unlikely every time I pass through here.
Just be thankful most of the people who were involved with those shows ended up living normal lives. That kind of lifestyle -- the adrenaline chasing, the drugs, the injures, etc -- really fucks you up. The fact that most of them are sober now is a miracle.
 
Just be thankful most of the people who were involved with those shows ended up living normal lives. That kind of lifestyle -- the adrenaline chasing, the drugs, the injures, etc -- really fucks you up. The fact that most of them are sober now is a miracle.
Looking at what happened with Dunn or the Bamster himself is enough to scare most people straight.
 
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I'm honestly surprised that none of the people who appeared on that show ended up with some kind of fucked up criminal case or allegations of impropriety at some point, Mikey was just about the only regular on the show who appeared to be reasonable and well-adjusted.
Cause it's all fake. The fights and shit are all staged. All of it. The big difference between reality TV and other shit is the budget.

Stop and think of it. How come every time there is a fight or something zany happens, everyone is perfectly marked, lit, and their audio is captured?

Because it's all fucking staged. If it wasn't, none of the footage would be usable.
 
I think about Bam from time to time when I play the games again. I think of all the skating people and 00s celebs who used to be hot shit and ended up all fucked up. It reminds me of Otto from Rocket Power, and the ending he got.

View attachment 7172759

Everybody else looks cool and successful but Otto got the most depressingly realistic ending possible. He looks like he sells bad weed. He looks like he brags about how he narrowly dodged getting put on the sex offender registry because he got a "sweet" plea deal. He looks like he's gonna tell me how glad he is that Trump pardoned him for going to the Jan 6 riots. He looks like he's gonna get off drugs for a month just so he can lower his tolerance enough that they're fun to take again. He looks like he made the worst fucking soundcloud rap album you ever heard in your life. He looks like he's gonna get on a livestream and scream at the camera about how none of the other Nicktoons will return his calls.

He looks like Bam.
That just looks like a weird ass fanfic to me., where the hell is this from?

Far as i can tell from google lens is this is just something some weird mexican dude drew with no connection to the show
 
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